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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have a 4pm wedding?

220 replies

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 11:03

So looking to get married in October this year (quite short notice I know) our venue is available on the date we want but they only have 12pm or 4pm, WIBU to opt for the 4pm?

I'm thinking if we do 4pm we can then feed people at a typical tea time? It won't be a fancy wedding breakfast or anything like that, think hog roast/buffet.

Does this sound OK or will people be annoyed at having to wait around all day!?

OP posts:
Tooearlytothink · 13/01/2025 13:13

Do it! DH and I got married at 4pm and it made for a much more relaxed day for everyone. Us getting ready, guests getting ready & travelling and we still got the whole evening after dinner to enjoy time with everyone (small wedding, around 20 people)

Nellyelephanty · 13/01/2025 13:08

Sounds fine to me!

hookiewookie29 · 13/01/2025 13:07

We had a 4pm wedding and it worked out brilliantly with regards to food etc.
The only downside was that we were limited to which photos we could have taken outside because of the daylight fading.

Crazybaby123 · 13/01/2025 13:06

4pm sounds great, I think a summer daytime wedding is great as people can hang around outside having a drink in the sun, but for october it would be perfect and much easier for people to come.

namechangeGOT · 13/01/2025 13:06

Mine was 3.30pm in December! There was no awkward hanging about, it was nice to not be in a rush to get ready etc.

onwardsupwardsandbeyond · 13/01/2025 13:05

Do it! I had a 3 or 4pm wedding and it was the best and a conscious choice as I never enjoyed those weddings where you started at 12 then had to go somewhere else between the service and the reception and lots of just waiting around.

Also, for that reason, DH and I decided to get most of our wedding photos done before the service (I know, bit unorthodox, but it was fantastic and intimate and I loved that (a) there were not lots of people looking on and (b) that they weren't bored waiting for our photos to be taken).

We also had a much longer drinks reception at the start (canapes and string duo) and didn't bother with favours etc - often just a lot of junk and unnecessary, instead focusing on what we know we and our friends enjoy - plenty of bubbles, good food and wine in a relaxed atmosphere.

BlueSky2024 · 13/01/2025 13:03

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 12:58

With regard to the photos I'm not too fussed on any being taken outside, I find them quite staged anyway so would prefer some candid ones! I do want a few of us getting ready and the ceremony.

I was going to get a bunch of disposables and use our digital camera (that's if it works!) to give to guests in the evening and people use them as they wish.

Agree, most wedding photos are naff and too staged, candid photos are much better as they capture a moment in time rather than a photographer directing people to stand/ pose in a certain way

Bogginsthe3rd · 13/01/2025 13:02

JudgeJ · 13/01/2025 12:59

We were married at 4pm, skint students so it was a buffet in Mum and Dad's front room, it lasted over 50 years!

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Yes but your individual experience doesn't change the stats! I think the suggestion is that 4pm weddings were booked more last minute (as 1,2, and 3pm slots taken) and so these marriages were overall more hastily arranged and so more likely to fail.

JudgeJ · 13/01/2025 12:59

Bogginsthe3rd · 13/01/2025 12:19

4pm weddings actually have higher divorce rates but as long as you go into it aware!

We were married at 4pm, skint students so it was a buffet in Mum and Dad's front room, it lasted over 50 years!

WonderingAboutThus · 13/01/2025 12:59

I would be delighted to be invited to a wedding that starts at 4pm. Early enough that there's no rush, late enough that it's easy to prepare for, get to, and not have to wait ages. Consider doing your own pictures beforehand.

Original poster
B2B25 · 13/01/2025 12:58

With regard to the photos I'm not too fussed on any being taken outside, I find them quite staged anyway so would prefer some candid ones! I do want a few of us getting ready and the ceremony.

I was going to get a bunch of disposables and use our digital camera (that's if it works!) to give to guests in the evening and people use them as they wish.

OP posts:
Original poster
B2B25 · 13/01/2025 12:56

I just add it's a very simple wedding at the local municipal buildings (they have a lovely mayors room there) we would be hiring a local function room so not too far to travel to.

We aren't having anything like all day photography literally just a couple of hours. So getting ready and then ceremony really.

My main priorities are food and drink. I think as long as people are fed and watered they'll be alright. Grin

OP posts:
AyeYCan · 13/01/2025 12:53

crockofshite · 13/01/2025 12:31

If OP goes for 1200, won't they have to vacate in time for the 4pm wedding? I'm not clear how it all works.

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I imagine the slots are when the celebrant can do, not the venue. There won't be a 4pm wedding at the venue if OP goes for 12 (and vice versa)

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 13/01/2025 12:51

My daughter had 4 o'clock and it was wonderful. We had all day to get dressed. Her godmother hosted us - the parents and bridesmaids and we had a running buffet of snacks and fruit. It was the most relaxed wedding and laid back bride you could imagine. The younger attendants went to school in the morning. Family could travel on the day. It was perfect. No need for an evening reception/two tier level of guests. It was really lovely.

ohyesido · 13/01/2025 12:50

I had a 4pm wedding on a Sunday in June, with the distinction of being the first wedding to take place with up to 30 guests after the lockdown restrictions were lifted in summer 2021.

Do it, we had canapés after the ceremony and a sit down dinner at 530 after the speeches. It was beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing

sweetpickle2 · 13/01/2025 12:50

4pm is a great time for all the reasons mentioned, but bear in mind in October your photos will probably be in the dark (if thats important to you).

OVienna · 13/01/2025 12:48

Wildwalksinjanuary · 13/01/2025 12:44

Apart one favourite photo the rest are never looked at again 😂

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100%.

Nanny0gg · 13/01/2025 12:47

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 11:03

So looking to get married in October this year (quite short notice I know) our venue is available on the date we want but they only have 12pm or 4pm, WIBU to opt for the 4pm?

I'm thinking if we do 4pm we can then feed people at a typical tea time? It won't be a fancy wedding breakfast or anything like that, think hog roast/buffet.

Does this sound OK or will people be annoyed at having to wait around all day!?

I had a 4pm wedding.

It was great

muddyford · 13/01/2025 12:45

Sounds good to me.

Wildwalksinjanuary · 13/01/2025 12:44

OVienna · 13/01/2025 12:42

No, I was married in the last century. This has been going on for years.

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Apart one favourite photo the rest are never looked at again 😂

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 13/01/2025 12:44

Wildwalksinjanuary · 13/01/2025 12:37

Also if dancing and celebrating into the night is important to you then a later wedding almost guarantees that your guests will still have the energy and motivation to enjoy it properly if it’s a later start.

I can also see some pp prefer earlier weddings and to finish early. As that is their preference. Also fine. I think what you can’t do is both. Start early and expect people to stay late. It’s too much for even the most enthusiastic of guests.

I remember the wedding last summer took me 3 days to recover. Not because I drank too much, but because we had to stay two nights due to distance. The heat was unbearable, and no one could sleep. We were at the church for 10am, leaving the hotel at 9am to be sure. we had to start our hair and make up etc at 7am. And didn’t leave until 1am as we had promised we would stay to the end. It was horrendous!

I was already tired by 2pm, so hot and tired. She had 2.5 hours of photographs. Then the couple had an hour off leaving all the guests stood around with a few bowls of crisps and warm wine for nearly 4 hours!!!! I was actually quite cross in the end. It was unbelievably selfish.

We finally sat down at 5pm and it really tainted the day. Most guests had left by 8pm. Dance floor was bare by 9pn. No one was left to see the eve buffet or the fireworks. I thought it was a shame, as clearly these elements cost thousands. I think the bride was really put out, but I am not sure what she expected given the length of the day. We finally got back at 2am shattered!!! It’s really put me off weddings.

Edited

The last 10am wedding I went to was awful. Literally hours of hanging around waiting while the important guests got photos done. Then after the wedding breakfast there was another couple of hours hanging around while they set up the evening do. I was freezing cold, bored and only knew 2 people. If it hadn't been in the middle of nowhere, I'd have gone for a walk 😂.

OVienna · 13/01/2025 12:42

RampantIvy · 13/01/2025 12:17

I do find the extended photography time just awful as a guest.

I agree @Wildwalksinjanuary

Am I the only one on here who thinks that photos are not the main priority of a wedding?

Maybe it is before I got married way before social media, but so many couples spend far too long on having photos taken these days.

Back in the day it would have been up to an hour if that.

No, I was married in the last century. This has been going on for years.

Wexone · 13/01/2025 12:39

Bloody love it - here in Ireland most weddings are 1pm or even worse 12:30pm then you have that huge gap in between of hanging around before dinner .
When oi got married i wanted 3pm - the shock of horror was unreal - it was a civil ceremony in the same location as reception aswell. Hotel would only hallow 2:30pm. If i was invited to a 4pm wedding would be dancing for joy, no getting up early able to get lunch and work before. easier to get minder for dogs and appointments for hair. Its your wedding you want it for 4pm then go for it

SerafinasGoose · 13/01/2025 12:39

I'd prefer evening weddings, if I had to attend one at all. Those intermiable, identikit evening dos are insufferable!

OVienna · 13/01/2025 12:39

Another vote for the 4pm wedding.

Ours was like 3.30 in November. It did affect the outdoor photos but there's loads you can get done before the ceremony anyway.

MUCH more civilised day for the guests.

DO IT!