To wish that people wouldn’t comment on size?

Yeah I absolutely hate it. Why are you staring at my stomach? Do you also notice when I put it on? Why is losing weight a good thing? Leave my body alone.

I've taught my kids we don't comment on people's bodies, even if it's something perceived as positive. I would hate to tell someone that they look like they had lost weight and it turned out it was because they had cancer or they had struggled with an eating disorder or something.

YANBU, I don’t like it either, but I just say “no, I don’t think so”! I think it comes from the cultural belief embraced by many women ( certainly the women that say it to me) that we look better when we have lost weight. When those women see us and think we look good, that is the go to in their head. Therefore, I take it as “you look nice”!

Commenting on people's weight is too much of a personal comment in my view and even if positive, could be possibly misunderstood, so best avoided.

In your case I think I would have just said 'thanks' and moved on.

I wouldn't thank them. I would ask them why they feel comfortable to talk about my size or anybody's? They'd be in no doubt that their comments are not welcomed.

People who do this, to women, in this time, are thick-witted and need to be told.

I agree

Why comment on somebody else's body?

I was in the office last week. A colleague said, ooh look at Syliva. She's so skinny! She thinks she's put on weight over xmas but she hasn't! She's slimmer than ever

Stop commenting on somebody's figure ! Its personal

It's unnecessary

If you're stumped for what to ask for next Christmas, I recommend a course in effective English communication.

Oh dear. People can be both, sadly.

Oh dear. As I’m clearly going to have to spell it out to you, I know. Hence my response 🤦‍♀️

Oh dear.

As I’m clearly going to have to spell it out to you, I was addressing the fact that you didn’t know ‘fatphobic’ was a legitimate English word.

Hope that’s cleared things up for you.

Yes, I'd be pleased that I was slimmer in reality, than they thought!

It is exactly what you were addressing.

What? That's not what I was addressing. You're becoming illogical as well as tedious.

Oh dear. I said “you” as a general “you”, not a specific you 🤦‍♀️

Make a word up 😂😂😂

See attached... have you been going around with your head up your (impeccably taut and trim, I presume) arse these past few years?

You're entertaining, I'll give you that.

Gosh you’ll make a word up for everything 🙄

I really don’t care if you’re fat. It’s only your body you’re fucking up, not mine 🤷‍♀️

I do care if you want everyone else to tiptoe around you and pretend you aren’t fat, though.

I kept getting people saying you look so good, you've lost so much weight well done etc. I didn't want to tell everyone I had cancer which I was still coming to terms with. Just think there may be unwanted reasons why someone has lost weight. I've also had people say have you lost weight, you look thinner when I haven't at all.

Amazing how some on this thread can’t even compute that commenting that someone is smaller than they used to be wouldn’t be universally welcomed and taken as a compliment.

I have lost weight and I’m happy about it and I STILL don’t like other people pointing it out unasked. Just keep unsolicited opinions on other people’s bodies to yourself. If they’re not close enough to have already told you about their diet or about their illness or whatever then it’s none of your business to comment.

Can only praise you for being honest. More people need to. I have also suffered with eating disorders for years. My highest weight and peak physical size was actually when I was twelve and lived abroad, at which point I went through puberty very quickly and suddenly then abruptly stopped and went into reverse. At my lowest, which I don't want to specify but I bore a marked resemblance to the skinned greyhound cadavers we were dissecting on my uni course, someone who knew me at the age of twelve ran into me (she was studying on her own year abroad, coincidentally). She immediately went into raptures about how great I looked and how much weight I'd lost. I didn't know what I looked like at the time but now, even though I still have body dysmorphia, pictures of me at that weight are pretty shocking and disgusting. And I knew her when I was TWELVE, at a weight that was comfortably in the healthy BMI range. More recently I was admitted to hospital, one of a series of admissions after an accident. I am starting to get to know the staff and two of them recognised me on separate occasions. It was a few months and a good few kilos since I'd last seen them. The first thing both said was about my weight, both said I looked well and one said authoritatively that I had gained weight and the other that I had lost. They didn't ask, they just told me. These are medical professionals.

Sorry this is so specific. I feel pretty despairing about society in this specific context. I really hope you're doing at least bearably OK.

It's small talk. You're reading far too much into it. I've twice had people phone DH to express concern about my weight. Now that I do find offensive Do they think I don't have a mirror?

I'd rather be overweight than a complete dick.

Why should women be expected to jump up and down like happy little girls because someone's pointed out there's less of them now?

And would you expect someone to 'take a compliment with good grace' if their weight loss was due to cancer? A bereavement? A breakup? MH issues?

It is not a compliment for someone to make judgement-laden remarks upon their physical size, certainly when it is both incorrect and reveals the giver's bias. It is fucking rude and infuriating. It makes the commenter look utterly thick and unthinking.

How is it not? But take it as one, smile, say thanks and move on.

I guess if not a compliment "ooh are you OK, you look awfully thin" or "gosh, you've been putting away the pies", "what happened to your skin, it used to be smooth".

Too many people trying to be perpetually offended. It's life. It's small talk. People need to get on with it.

Ah, so now we're getting to what your problem is. Plain old fatphobia. You sound like a delight.