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AIBU?

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Original poster

Old guy purposely tapped my bum with his walking crutch

164 replies

Wickedclimber · 12/01/2025 22:15

Had a 'disagreement' with an elderly man today, who was utterly vile and told me that women should be in the kitchen.

Afterwards he came over and tapped my arse with his walking crutch, whilst mumbling "got over it yet?".

AIBU in thinking this is totally inappropriate?

I know if I had seen him do it to someone else, I would have stepped in as a safeguarding officer.

OP posts:
BlueberryShortcakePixie · 12/01/2025 22:35

How did it start? What was the disagreement about?

GreyPapoose · 12/01/2025 22:34

It's given me a laugh.

It's his version of a pointy finger.

Thegoatliesdownonbroadway · 12/01/2025 22:34

Turn the other cheek

BobbyBiscuits · 12/01/2025 22:32

How rude. In a house of god! Anywhere would be rude tbh.
I'd tell the vicar/church leader. It's bang out of order to be verbally and physically harassing people. Especially somewhere which is a quiet place for peaceful contemplation.
If he's a regular then surely he could be barred or threatened with the police if he doesn't behave?

Nikitaspearlearring · 12/01/2025 22:31

What was the disagreement that led to this?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 12/01/2025 22:29

Good for you standing up for yourself. What a knob!

Original poster
Wickedclimber · 12/01/2025 22:24

Unfortunately I am the safeguarding lead.

My vicar is going to be contacting him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wickedclimber · 12/01/2025 22:23

Reddog1 · 12/01/2025 22:21

If I’ve been there I’d have remonstrated with him. You can’t strike someone with a walking stick!

I imagine that you were too gobsmacked to retort!

To be clear, he didn't do it hard enough to hurt.

But it made me feel awful.

I just said, loudly "don't ever do that again." I was quite shocked.

OP posts:
comedycentral · 12/01/2025 22:22

Can you talk to the priest there? They will have a safeguarding team. Stay away from him going forward.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 12/01/2025 22:22

What an unpleasant experience for you. I don't see this as a safeguarding issue unless there is a vulnerability you haven't mentioned, but this man certainly needs telling not to behave like that. Can you do it, or would it be better to bring it up as a church matter?

Reddog1 · 12/01/2025 22:21

If I’ve been there I’d have remonstrated with him. You can’t strike someone with a walking stick!

I imagine that you were too gobsmacked to retort!

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/01/2025 22:20

I'm quite mild tempered but I would absolutely have read him the riot act. Loudly. In front of everyone. I'm livid for you.

Original poster
Wickedclimber · 12/01/2025 22:17

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 12/01/2025 22:16

Where were you?

At church.

Which I know is going to start a whole different conversation.

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 12/01/2025 22:16

Where were you?

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