Old guy purposely tapped my bum with his walking crutch

If it had been me it would be the last time he saw that particular walking crutch, fucking arsehole.

How old does one have to be to be allowed to behave in an appalling and illegal manner? 60, 70, 80? Does it differ for the sexes?

Now I know this is a Bot post

Oh wow, horrible behaviour. Could he have dementia though?

Sorry, but I am myself a born again Christian . I am also a survivor of CPTSD from abuse, sexual and other kinds. Depending on how well I'm coping if someone touched me when I wasn't expecting it or didn't want it , my fight reflex might well end up in me punching the dude.

also the bible says when a brother sins, to go to him and let him know. It's loving to call someone out on their mistakes.

Sure if she hadn't mentioned it you'd be asking if he's disabled and should therefore be cut some slack?

Why didn't you ask what his sex has to do with it? Surely irrelevant as women can and do have this attitude also.

Or is it ageist now to point out a singular person's age to set the scene for something you want advice or support on?

I think its the comment' got over it yet 'that would irk me more so he was wanting to upset you and goad you into a reaction - as a bully does . He is probably lonely and bored . You must pursue this and he must be told that he needs to leave the group if he can't accept women leading services. Women have been leading services for decades now so he can't use age as an excuse .

I've worked in a church environment a lot and this is fairly normal behaviour. Old men have old ideas. I've also tried talking to them but they won't change and they just take umbrage at escalation. Well done for challenging it although nothing ever changes.

Was he joking or does he really hold those views? If so, can't your priest advise him of a local angle-catholic church which maintains the no-women-leaders position? They are still kicking around.

That was assault… doesn’t matter that he’s an old man. If it was also fuelled by misogyny/your sex then it was also a hate crime. I’d report it so that someone can have a gentle word in his ear before the next woman he assaults returns fire, or her husband does.

Yanbu and I'm shocked by the number of people who think you are. I thought we were moving past women having to tolerate this kind of shit. I wonder if they'd all be saying it was nothing if he tapped your arse with his hand instead? In my mind both are equally as bad.

Women have been ordained for over 30 years, haven't they? Most people who objected defected to the Catholic Church back then, although I'm sure they'd still welcome him despite being rather late to the party.

What does his age have to do with anything?

Sorry I misunderstood the role of a safeguarding officer. I didn’t know it was to report issues to the church leader much the same as any congregant can.

What a stupid old twat. I would have broken his stick over his head.

To God ?

Well he was in church. My intention is not to attack your faith, but in all honesty Misogyny and (99% of) religions go hand in hand. Remember, the order of authority according to the Bible is God, then Man (who funnily enough, decides what god says) then women and the children. Essentially, women must be subservient to men and certainly not argue back like you did. Religion itself attracts men who think like that. It's why women have had so much trouble having their voices heard and being allowed out of the Church's coffee morning serving and into leading services.

"Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says" (Paul's first letter to the Corinthians)

"I do not permit a woman to teach or assume authority over a man; she must be quiet" (Paul's first letter to Timothy)

In that eejits head, he was right. And your should shut your cakehole.

So he did not say that women should be in the kitchen. It may be pedantic but isn’t truthfulness important in the church?

Hopefully the vicar will give him a bollocking on your behalf, perhaps while you’re in the kitchen. Stand up for yourself and your feminist principles by not asking a man to take over when things get uncomfortable

I know if I had seen him do it to someone else, I would have stepped in as a safeguarding officer.

If he does this to you he will and probably has done it to others who will look at you and see the safeguard lead and vicar minimising and sanctioning this behaviour. I'm not surprised, because religions are inherently misogynistic and attract men like him.

Old men know full well what's appropriate and not. If a man had dementia and is behaving inappropriately towards general members of thr public then hr should always be chaperoned and monitored for everyone's safety. If this is in a medical or care setting then the staff should be alerted and safeguarded approprietly, eg male carers or 2 carers at all times.

It's particularly disappointing when it's other women minimising and excusing sexual assault not the least because usually thry themselves have been victims of it but in denial or deep shame about it and simply repeating the same excuses and justifications they were given about their own assaults.

Surely as a safeguarding officer you know it was a bad thing to do and you know what needs to be done about it? What steps did you take to ensure he doesn’t do it again?

Just to add I would report to the police OP, your church may be different but many churches would try and minimise this.

YANBU - you were assaulted, both verbally and physically, while at work.
I hope your Vicar has a stern word and possibly a ban for him (although I can see how banning might be tricky)…

I can't actually believe some of the revolting minimising comments on this thread. What the man did was assault and OP is within her rights to be upset about it.