Old guy purposely tapped my bum with his walking crutch

Surely recent events have shown that ignoring any form of sexist abuse or unwanted touch isn’t a good idea for the church!

It could also be argued that failing to make it abundantly clear to the miscreant that his conduct is unacceptable is doing him a great disservice.

Yes, @Wickedclimber, he might just be a rude idiot. I just threw it out there as inappropriate behaviour can be a sign of mental deterioration.

@InSearchOfMartin Then you’ll know that inappropriate behaviour and comments can be a sign of the diseases. I hope the vicar does keep an eye on him regardless.

People ARE saying the OP is overreacting. I wasn't targeting you. And yes, I have.

@InSearchOfMartin No one is saying that his behaviour is acceptable, he shouldn’t behave like this and the vicar should certainly be speaking to him. My point is that he’s been behaving OK for five years and his behaviour has suddenly changed.

Has you ever spent time with someone suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia @InSearchOfMartin?

I'm astonished at those of you minimising and excusing this because it's an old guy. Where is it acceptable, then? In the workplace? Because if an 80-something guy can do it, why not a 30-something guy? What's the difference? Oh, he might have dementia. Oh, the 30-something might have other 'issues'

Is it ok to do this in the doctor's surgery? In the park? In the pub? At the zoo?

No, it is NOT ACCEPTABLE ANYWHERE.

Just stop minimising.

@Wickedclimber It’s not appropriate at all and the vicar should definitely speak to him about it.

If he was polite for five years prior to this, could this outburst be a sign of mental deterioration? I’m guessing that he’s in his 80’s? DH’s auntie (88) has suddenly mentally deteriorated, it’s happened very quickly. My Dad (86) also has less of a filter now.

I’m not excusing this man’s behaviour, but your vicar might want to keep an eye on him, especially if he doesn’t have family in the area. People suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia can behave very inappropriately.

Soppy old duffer

My DH is 86, he would never say anything like this.

The metal gymnastics people will go to to find the woman at fault is incredible.

Ugh, I'm also a lay preacher and I've had to put up with a couple of occasional comments

I'm very strident though and speak very loudly when telling them what I think though.

I'm sorry you've lost sleep, I reported one person to my superintendent and the next time I preached at that church I was escorted round afterwards by someone who knew them so there was a witness if anything happened. I also tailored my service to the role of women in the early church I was the one with the microphone, might as well use it.

On balance though I'd rather they were there, keeps them off the buses and remonstrating with women in public for a couple of hours

Can I ask you not to blame yourself for not feeling charitable towards him, he's an arsehole. Its not you

No.

It must be very tiring for you to believe you have to admonish everyone who has an opinion different to yours. Take a day off

Could you do what your username suggests and go back to lurking? Your contributions have been to baselessly accuse the OP of lying, make a snarky-but-stupid comment about the role of a safeguarding officer and then, baselessly, accuse the OP of being a bot.

It's all a bit tedious and weird.

@Balloonhearts "Mumsnet has a massive double standard.

Bunch of women say they've been assaulted or spoken to inappropriately by old men and you cry ageism. If no one mentioned their ages, everyone would be like ALL MEN SHOULD BE BANNED!!!!"

You must have missed my earlier post where I said "Oh,ffs. His age is irrelevant. He was a dick. And would have been a dick whether he was 20 or 80. Not sure whether it's a safeguarding issue or a arsehole issue"

Then of course there is Roald Dahl’s Mrs Twit, who carries a stick so that she can hit dogs and cats and small children.

Churches do have safeguarding leads, sometimes they are regional though. Adult safeguarding might sometimes be about spotting changes in behaviour. Sometimes it's social spaces like churches that notice changes before medical teams if people are particularly isolated from family for example.

Id have told him to fuck the fuck off...but then I don't go to church. Then grabbed his stuck and poked his genitals and said no..I haven't

That's hilarious. A church with a safeguarding team...who would step in after a man was inappropriate

I’d have thrown it in a bush tbh.

Mumsnet has a massive double standard.

Bunch of women say they've been assaulted or spoken to inappropriately by old men and you cry ageism. If no one mentioned their ages, everyone would be like ALL MEN SHOULD BE BANNED!!!!

So why is sexism never called out unless they're also elderly? They were probably tossers 20 years ago and they're still tossers now. They don't suddenly become respectable when they hit 70.