To think adult DD expects too much of me?

This! ⬆️ She has way less on her plate & more support than you do. She needs telling how selfish & childish she is being.

Crackanut... I'm due to be a Grandmother later this year. A lady my Stepson knows, her Daughter (18 years old) has had a child. The Grandmother had to take very robust action as the new Mother was more worried about getting her nails done and looking at her phone leaving Granny to deal with the baby. I'm not envisaging any problems with my new Grandchild but when I read posts like the OPs it is a timely warning to be watchful for this sort of behaviour.
And to the original Poster... your Daughter is a 27 year old SAHM and you work full time, with two young children and she wants you to babysit roughly every four weeks whilst she parties, absolutely NO.

One of my friends is due to become a grandparent any day now, she's actually dreading it because of shit like this. She's seen some of our other friends lose any spare time they had to grand-children. One of our friends works full time Mon-Fri and on Saturday mornings the kids are left with her because mum and dad need a break due to 'working full-time'.

I think you need to have a conversation where you explain that she is an adult now with her own child, and it's not normal or reasonable to expect you to continue to support her as if she were a child herself.

She would be outraged if you tried to control her life as if she were a teenager, and it works the other way too. This is literally how things have been since the beginning of time, all over the world.

DD is almost 27 her partner is 30. So they’re not teenagers.

Oh wow! So I'd tell her now, before she / they ask about babysitting, that it's too much for you with your work and your two ND school-age DC. Then should she ask again later, you can just remind her of the conversation and say actually you were thinking of asking her to help out with her younger siblings.

She is taking the absolute piss!
She could offer to take something off your plate sometimes but she's selfish.
I think you need to tell her it's too much next time she asks.

Your DD chose to become a mum at a young age, she has to accept that she cannot just go out for whole weekends partying like her peers have been because of her life choices and they’re not your problems to solve.

My mum was the most stubborn, hardheaded kid to her mum - she went out of her way to be unpleasant and contrary. Even if it was more work she’d go out of her way if it meant it would displease her mum.
It’s a shame your girl never got to meet my mum. She’d be in shambles in one afternoon.
Get your stubborn on. Be hardheaded. Be contrary. It’s not like your daughter isn’t ever going talk to you again. Do unto her as she’s doing unto you.
And laugh a little. It might be fun to see her reaction to getting a dose of her own medicine.

Bloody hell, OP. You’re definitely not the unreasonable one. My mum does an overnight stay max twice a year and I get my kids ready for bed and get home at a reasonable hour so she can leave as early as she wants in the morning. I’m very grateful as she is not obligated to take care of kids, although she really does help me out with a few hours here and there when I have work commitments. Keep the boundary firm as it sounds like you’re still in the thick of it with your other children too. Definitely create more space for you x

Everybody else has already said what I was going to say. Listen to the wise advice!

I look after my GC. LESS than you do, but as much as I have energy and time for. No WAY would a night out becoming a whole weekend be a thing.

"Adult DD, is a stay at home mum, has a supportive partner and GD is in FT school."

Ok so you know she does not need what she is demanding of you. She may well try to use GD as ransom when you stand up to her (hollow threat as she'll come back to needing you to look after GD) but you have dependants who need your support, she needs to understand that she both should and CAN look after her own family ... and you need to sort his situation out now everyone's sake. Stop feeling guilty, stop pandering, be kind, be firm, be aware of your own responsbility in this situation and how that can help you make changes for the better.

She’s so entitled! You’re working full time, and mum to two DC at home, I’m surprised your DD had the cheek to ask. Does your DD ever help you?
My mother has never babysat, not once and my two are 17 and 21!

Good lord, a weekend of babysitting every 4-5 weeks?? I think she should be incredibly grateful !!!

for context I have a three year old and have never had a night off! My parents love their grandson to bits but struggle physically to keep up with the toddler for more than an hour or so! I did have my son when I was older so grandparents are all in their 70s.

So she has a partner to help her and you're a single mum... SHE should be helping you'

She chose to have a kid at 15. It's her problem not yours.

How old is your DD?

So you have much more on your plate than her but she expects you to help her? Sounds like you already do plenty for her. One weekend a month is loads!

Oh dear God! You could argue just as convincingly that she should be babysitting for you. Obviously you want to stay on good terms with your DD but think you'll have to tell her that you are already overwhelmed and can only offer very limited child care, much as you adore your GD.

OP, you are doing way too much for your adult daughter! She is taking the p*ss, and should be helping you, rather than the other way round. Start being a bit more assertive, and stand up to her.

Cheeky mare. Do less.

Honestly, her lack of gratitude would make me reduce the help offered in your situation.

Your DD is being ridiculous. You are both mothers but you are far busier than her with two children, a full time job and are also considerably older and perimenopausal, whereas she only has one school aged child and is a SAHM. It sounds as if she needs to grow up!

You have done loads more than my Mum, my mum never baby sits my children, she only work 10 hrs a week. Me and my husband work full time and have 3 children.

Your daughter either being entitled or have a mental issue.

Absolutely this . OP your doing plenty