Double posted for traffic and also because I feel a bit desperate. They are 5 and 3 but it’s been that way since they were 2 and 4. Eldest is a girl and the youngest is a boy. Neither are asd, sen or have any form of additional needs. They are both in school/ nursery.
youngest was handsy for a brief period of time and now plays nicely with friends.
BUT at home, 8/10 times, the second your back is turned, or even if you’re in the room, they are all on each other scrapping. Most of the time, it’s youngest jumping on and generally rough housing with eldest. I can tell his intention isn’t to hurt, he knows he shouldn’t do it as well. It’s like he’s play fighting, which she doesn’t like and then it degenerates. I can tell he’s not doing it with anger or the intention to hurt because on the occasion she winds him up or hits him, you can see it on his face when he goes to hit her back.
this morning, I couldn’t even go to the loo, wash the dishes for separating them.
i remove him and remind him he’s a kind boy, and kind boys listen when someone says stop, and kind boys use kind hands and gentle actions. Etc. It’s made some impact but what else can I do?
honestly this morning has really worn my patience and I had to shout very loudly to get the behaviour to stop. Then I’m racked with guilt for being shouty.
do I have unrealistic expectations that I can leave a room for 5 mins and they’ll not be at each others throats?
how can I stop this?