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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have had a bowl of soup?

118 replies

PickedaPumpkin · 12/01/2025 13:52

Normal Sunday, I’m up at 6ish with DS2 (1 yr old), DS1 (6 years old) gets up 7ish. We all have breakfast. I take DP a coffee in bed around 11, he’s awake but not up.

Midday, I give DS2 lunch, I tell DS1 I’ll make him a sandwich in a moment. DP appears.

Now, sometimes we go out on a Sunday for lunch, sometimes we don’t. Nothing planned, but DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch. I made a suggestion, but nothing agreed.

When DP got up he spoke about running an errand. Fine, I thought, I’ll get on and make DS1 a sandwich. Whilst doing that, I remembered some soup in the fridge and got that with some bread & butter for myself. DP hadn’t even started his errand when he walked in and saw DS1 and I eating. His reaction was “Oh, so we’re not going out for lunch then??” I replied we could after he’d run his errand, and that it was only soup to keep me going. He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough, and he’d go out on his own (he didn’t).

My thinking, particularly for DS1, was that even if we went somewhere for lunch it would be well past 2pm before we ate, and DS1 and I were both hungry. Was I wrong for having some soup even if we were going out for lunch?

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 12/01/2025 14:05

ive just as egg salad an am going out to eat later its not up to anyone else to tell you youve had enough food

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/01/2025 14:05

So he lies about in bed all morning not parenting, asks where you're taking HIM for lunch and then tells you off for eating?

He needs to get in the fucking bin

oatmy · 12/01/2025 14:04

Sounds like that long lie in made him very grumpy, he'd better take the early shift next weekend.

Megifer · 12/01/2025 14:04

Placemarking for the "do you have an issue with food op and thats why he said you'd had enough? I couldn't possibly eat a single peanut a bowl of hearty soup and heartier bread then eat another hearty huge meal" posts 👀

Yanbu op soup is just flavoured slightly thick water, he's being a twat.

soupfiend · 12/01/2025 14:02

How come you're even asking this question?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/01/2025 14:02

DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch.

What? Was it his birthday?

Are the children his? On the basis of this brief snapshot, OP seems to be doing everything and her partner doing very little. Or is this just the arrangement for Sundays and if he'd been writing this he could have pointed to a busy Saturday full of activity while OP had a long lie?

Aliflowers · 12/01/2025 14:02

So to get it right. He dragged himself up out of bed a mere 6hrs after you got up with your children (and made him a coffee in bed) and his first thought wasn’t to help you feed the kids, give you a bit of time for yourself, make you some lunch. No it was to run an errand. And then tries to “control/comment on your food”. Nah put him in the bin.

hopeishere · 12/01/2025 14:00

Lying in to 11am unless he is a shift worker is totally unacceptable.

AlisonDonut · 12/01/2025 14:00

Maybe he needs to get up earlier and participate in the family life and he might be kept in the loop on your soup based news.

Getting up after 11 and wanting you to take him out to lunch? What a gem.

tothelefttotheleft · 12/01/2025 13:58

Of course you needed food. You'd been up since 6. Unlike him who slept in until 11.

PullTheBricksDown · 12/01/2025 13:58

He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough

Since when does he get to control when you've had enough to eat?

Is this a totally out of character moment or not?

He must be used to the idea that kids the age of yours tend to want food more often.

ThewrathofBethDutton · 12/01/2025 13:58

Fuck me! So you have to wait for him to dictate to the whole family when you are to eat?
Also you took him a drink at 11, so he wasn’t getting up with his kids, does he work night shifts?
asked you where you were taking him for lunch?

Sounds like a lazy, entitled arsehole you have yourself there op.

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 12/01/2025 13:57

“He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough”

🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Ha ha that’s so funny! What a comedian!!!

So do you have a spade and alibi? Anything else you need?

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 12/01/2025 13:56

Of course you weren't wrong to eat some soup but you might be wrong to be putting up with this oafish behaviour from your partner. It's not a good example to set your children.

Readingsloth · 12/01/2025 13:55

Diiiiiiiid he at any point say thank you for that massive lie in he had that you facilitated?

No you are not being unreasonable. When I do the early shift like this, midday feels like tea time already. Just because he’s slept in and missed an entire meal of the day doesn’t mean that you have too.

pastapestoparmesan · 12/01/2025 13:55

Presumably you’re an adult, and are therefore free to eat what you like when you like. Unfortunately, you seem to have a controlling twat of a DP.

Timeforabiscuit · 12/01/2025 13:55

The main issue is him saying "you've had enough food", that comment alone would have me whisking away his plate mid meal and saying it back to him!

Twatty twat, your stomach doesn't work to his schedule!

PizzaPunk · 12/01/2025 13:54

Lol, you know you weren't wrong and you know no-one's going to say you were.

Ignore the grumpy fucker.

Hope you enjoyed your soup 🥣