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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that my 'D'H of 36 years is an arsehole

115 replies

RazorSharp1 · 12/01/2025 12:15

I've been sober/alcohol free for coming up to 5 years, I was an alcoholic, binge drank to excess but still was fully functioning at work etc
I have no problem having booze in the house as he still enjoys a beer/whisky

We used to drink together, but I took control and just stopped cold turkey and vowed that I would never drink again.

We were talking this morning and apparently he said that I would be a lot happier if I had a drink now and then as I don't seem very happy all of the time

I went through the Menopause with no HRT etc and we moved house 2 1/2 years ago and he did nothing to help so the stress was awful at the time and I'm literally just coming out of it all mentally and somewhat physically, it battered me

He has suggested that I have a small scotch now and then but I've refused

(Name changed for this)

OP posts:
TossieFleacake · 12/01/2025 12:37

He's a dick.

Well done on kicking the booze, not an easy thing to do.
Your 'D'H should be fully behind you.

ChaoticCrumble · 12/01/2025 12:37

He could potentially ruin your life with this suggestion. I'd seriously consider ltb.

lazyarse123 · 12/01/2025 12:35

Is he a happy little soldier all the time because he likes a drink?
Sounds to me like he's trying to justify the drinking that he does, not that he has to.
Well done on your sobriety op.

BrokenHipster · 12/01/2025 12:32

Why did you not take hrt?

IlooklikeNigella · 12/01/2025 12:31

Well.

He's an idiot.

ThinWomansBrain · 12/01/2025 12:29

Sounds logical, now that you're sober you've realised what a twat he is - reasons to not be cheerful, part 3...

JMSA · 12/01/2025 12:25

He's an idiot for suggesting this, and well-done on your sobriety. Is he trying to sabotage because he himself has alcohol problems?

You don't sound happy though. And it really stands out for me that you're talking about a house move 2 1/2 years on. In the nicest possible way, why wouldn't you be over that by now?

If you're not happy, move on from the relationship. Life's short.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 12/01/2025 12:24

Who on earth has voted YABU?! That's an incredibly stupid thing for him to suggest, why in the world would he want you to return to alcoholism?! Sounds over all like he's a total bellend, sorry OP. Does he have good points?

Hoppinggreen · 12/01/2025 12:24

Dh has given up alcohol and to be honest I do think sometimes that it would be nice if he would join me in a glass of wine BUT he was never an alcoholic and if he had been I would just be incredibly proud and thankful that he had stopped.
Your DH is being a selfish Dick.

NotOnThe · 12/01/2025 12:23

Yuck. Dick head. You deserve better.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/01/2025 12:22

Meant to add - massive congratulations on giving it up. You deserve better.

SadSandwich · 12/01/2025 12:20

Is this a surprise or is he generally unsupportive if you?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/01/2025 12:20

Wow. He is an awful person for saying that. Just awful.

PromoJoJo · 12/01/2025 12:18

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

Weyohweyoh · 12/01/2025 12:18

Anyone who encourages an alcoholic to drink when they are doing amazingly well at controlling their addiction is a full blown, card carrying arsehole.

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