To think always having the children with you is stressful?

Yes.
even when it’s really boring stuff like appointment for passport or at the council office, Ds is with me unless it happens on a nursery morning ( so before he was 2.5 he was literally with me 24/7).
The time Ds is at nursery to need to work usually so he’s always with me for appointments, shops, etc..
Dh works full time weekdays, and shops aren’t open after 12 Saturday or at all Sunday where we live

My haircut is so overdue as they only open 11-6, Mon-Fri so I will have Ds with me and I can’t be bothered. No family to help

It certainly feels like it in the period you're in - and even when they're not there, your mind is constantly with them - if everything's going okay, what to do for tea, how the bloody hell you're going to get so much as a sniff of fruit or veg' into them, whether you've got to hunt down that unicorn's fart of a GP appointment for Jr Jr's constant sore tummy, that sort of thing - well, that's what I found, anyways!

Yes, life as you knew it, b.c. is gone forever, when you could be cheerfully self absorbed, focussing your attention and money solely on you and your partner's needs and wants.

But, it does get easier, and it does get less labour and time intensive, with more time for just you, and what you want to do, without constantly attached anklebiters, as you go alone. In fact, around eleven onwards, some models would rather you were anywhere but near them, and your focus was on anything but their own delightful little selves. (Hint, just like those sudden and very loud quiet times when they were toddlers, that's when you might want to take another look). Oh, they still stay money hoovering littler fuckers, though. That, as far as I can tell, remains a permanent state of affairs. Never thought of a dollar of yourn that they didn't wish to claim for their own!

One is home educated and has been for the last 2 years, what “point” am I proving? And one is on a reduced timetable and leaves at 11 due to Sen. again what point?

OP is making an absolutely understandable comment. A lot of mothers are with their children all the time when not working because the thought might be, why would they need childcare at these times. However, it is hugely demanding at this age when they're always into something and needing supervision. A lot of mothers feel like they lose a part of their identity. I used to really enjoy the couple of hours I had free after work and before picking my son up when I could decompress.

School is many hours a day, 5 days a week. You're proving my point, not OPs. Also, she's not a lone parent.

I've tried to explain this feeling as well. I'm either at work or I have responsibility for the children and any time I have to myself is brief and generally spent rushing around on a deadline because I've got to get back to relieve whoever is looking after the children.

The freedom to just decide I'm off to do X has gone. The things I previously got joy from doing aren't enjoyable with children and I can't justify getting childcare to do them.

Well I’m a lone parent so yes my kids are always with me unless at school

I totally get it.

You learn to snatch a few moments here and there, visits to the dentist when you leave them with their Dad, that kind of thing. 😂

I think you enter into a different phase of your life when your children are small. You have to give up quite a few of the things you used to do. But it's not forever, and it's lovely to pick them back up again later, along with other things you've never tried before.

My DC are much older now, and I found it to be a gradual process. Start with, say, an easy hobby, and go from there.

Are you a lone parent OP?

I assume their father doesn’t often have them, or you miss having his company.

But yes, you need to adjust your life a bit to accommodate them and you can’t do the adult things you used to do in the same way (especially with a toddler!).

No. But it doesn't make sense. OP appears to think she's surgically attached to her children until they're 13.
Incomprehensible.

it's not bloody rocket science

Erm, yep 🤣 and if you're very lucky maybe grandparents can do an overnight?

I don't understand the question. Why would you always have your children with you? Why would you not be an "adult" until their teens?

I have no idea what you're talking about.