Husband says any man would cheat given the opportunity

It’s always dangerous asking hypothetical questions question because it’s not real life

but i think you can add women to that as well
I wouldn’t say just men are guilty of this

Thieves think everyone steals

In other words
People that do shitty things or want to do shitty things think everyone does it.

I've always said that most men, if given the chance, with zero chance of getting found out, would take an opportunity. Not an affair, but certainly a one off shag. And you're all fooling yourselves if you think they wouldn't. But would a woman ? I think far less would.

Yeah it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheated or will cheat. It does necessarily mean he's a twat.

This is so offensive, although i do read enough MN to understand women's view of men's fidelity. All men would not cheat at all. I have felt for many years now, as though my actual sexuality is deeply tied to my wife, the thought of being with someone else is actually unthinkable. If i found myself suddenly single, i think it would take years to feel comfortable with someone else.

Personally, i think men that cheat, do so because there is something wrong in their life, or fundementally with their character. I know that within my male friendship group you would be hugely shamed and ostricised for it too.

Lots of sanctimony here. It’s pretty obvious that there are times in any long marriage when both partners will meet someone and think “Oh, if I was single I definitely would”. I know I have in the 25 years I’ve been married and I know my bloke has too. Monogamy for decades is hard.

Infuriating. According to him, he’s a man and would cheat if he got the chance. Surely in the last few decades he must have had the chance? It’s very annoying but probably he was talking random nonsense after a bottle of wine.

He’s hardly like to say yes, is he!

I don't think all men would cheat given the opportunity at all.

It also baffles me how many people here think that's correct or almost correct. No wonder so many place all the blame on whatever OW is involved, they expect and think so little of their partner. Men aren't brainless idiots. Many of you seem married to men who couldn't give a fuck about you if that's what you think men are just "like". The bar is obviously in hell.

If my partner said that, I'd be leaving... Or even tempted to organise a honey trap for him. Usually I'd disagree with such testing/behaviour because it's disrespectful, but any guy who says "all men would cheat" to justify their own lack of faithfulness and trustworthyness doesn't really deserve much transparency or respect in the situation. It would be hilarious for some loser to think he was onto a winner but instead lose everything, and not even get his end away.

My husband was like this. He cheated.

So your husband admitted to you that he would cheat if the opportunity presented itself and then proceeded to gaslight you? Yikes. Huge red flag.

He’s probably right. I wish I was a lesbian to be honest, they seem way happier on average.

This.

What he meant to say was any man would cheat if they knew they would never get found out.

Now of course you will get the odd on that would still not cheat.

Cue my DH wouldn't x100... But you're most likely wrong.

OP I would be fuming too.

So many women with such low standards on MN. The excuses. 🙄

All men? No. Plenty would though.

That's why I find the mentality of keeping them on a "short leash" so to speak and fending other women off in order to reduce "opportunity " baffling.

A man that doesn't cheat only because he hasn't had the opportunity to do so, is still a cheat.

I don't know why people are focusing on the 'all men' statement and whether they would or wouldn't. For me, the big thing is that he admitted that he would, if he had the opportunity. So the only reason he hasn't cheated (if he hasnt) is because he hasn't had chance to, not because he respects your relationship too much, or thinks cheating is wrong etc. Of course yanbu being upset by that, its a horrible thing to hear

Would you be ok if your DH said he would cheat if the opportunity arose? I take it you don’t really like him in that case…

I know someone like that too! He actively fell out with others who cheated and hand plenty of finger wagging to say how disgusting it was to cheat of your wife bla bla. Lo and behold he done exactly that a few years later. The hypocrisy made it worse!

I would like to hope thats he’s wrong OP - how depressing and what a crap thing to think and say!

PS. Thank you for teaching me the word truculent - never heard of it before, brilliant word 😄

It was a stupid, probably wine fuelled, thing to say to you. But I don’t think he is wrong. If they knew they could get away with it, a lot of men would cheat. For obvious reasons, most of them would never admit that in a month of Sundays. Like a pp, I have worked with men for decades and I’m still occasionally shocked by the sheer volume who do this and also amazed that any potential ow falls for their bullshit!
Some people just have different thought processes and standards. One male friend was horrified when the long term affair of another male friend was discovered. Called him all the names under the sun. The fact that he himself on occasion, shagged random women when away with work was apparently “different” 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
I think all you can do op is make it extremely clear what your boundaries are and stick to them.

I don’t think all men would, but yes I do believe under the right circumstances many would. More than what their partners would like to believe.

Some men won’t get any female attention so the opportunity won’t arise, so they won’t be in a situation to do such a thing, though that’s not to say they wouldn’t if an opportunity arose.

Ive just read that he said he would cheat given the opportunity. He sounds like a right knob I’m afraid. It would be a kick to the kerb from me as it sounds like he’s never cheated because the opportunity has been there for him to take advantage of. A balding 60 year old won’t be in many women’s priority list so he likely won’t but it’s not because he wouldn’t want want to 🤢

I don't think ANY man would cheat but I do think that anyone IS capable of cheating, male or female.

He has told you given the chance he would cheat.
Don't underestimate how many women would fuck a balding, fat, older man.

I think he’s right and I think the same applies to women. Monogamy is a social construct and I think it’s a rare person in a long time relationship who wouldn’t have liked to have sex with someone else at some stage in the relationship.

Those who don’t cheat make that choice because of the potential consequences or because they choose to adhere to the embedded moral code of the specific society they live in.

Who gets that mad about a hypothetical conversation?