Husband says any man would cheat given the opportunity

Where are you getting your statistics from, you do realise that these are from a small pool of people studied? People that are attracted to the particular poll, which many faithful people won’t be into, or even know about

I'm not a man but I've genuinely got no interest.

A minor flirt in a bar is as far as I'd potentially go (and I wouldn't mind if my DP did the same as long as that was where it ended and he doesn't earn himself some kind of reputation for doing it about town constantly).

I fulfilled my casual sex curiosity before settling down and honestly don't have that interest in a stranger, risk, pursuit, illicit thrill or any of that tedium. Variety and familiarity with one person is worth 100x, even if it becomes irregular in the end. It's really not worth hurting someone over a shag and I'm a big believer in playing the field a bit before settling down. It's what my grandma advised me (born in the 20s)

Just like with theft, murder, etc. some people are basically sociopaths but others actually have ethics and morals that are completely unrelated to a fear of being caught.

Damn Skippy....

He just blew his cover as a decent guy.

Not all men would cheat.

But he would.

You'll probably never see him the same way again OP, and I'm sorry. But his mask fell off.

Agree.

Some years ago (probably 30+) I got off with a chap who turned out afterwards to be married (technically I was, but to be fair I was waiting for the decree absolute) and my friend got off with his mate. No idea if the mate was married, but she was definitely due up the aisle a few weeks later!

It takes two to tango, as the saying goes, so it's not all down to the men.

Just going to read the rest of the thread to find out if OP got an apology....

This would give me such a insight into how little integrity my partner had that I just don't know how I could feel the same about them.

It certainly would make me think when I wasn't around he is most likely joining in on the potential gross work/pub banter. I don't think I'd feel safe in the relationship or respected. It would be hard to feel passion and love for my partner when if at any moment if Shirley from over the road came round naked in a trench coat and winked at my husband that I'd be forgotten in a second!

You're completely valid op for feeling this way. Unfortunately it would take real insight and work on his behalf to truly see where you're coming from. From his reactions doesn't look likely he will see your viewpoint.

It's not a relationship I would want to stay in.

Single woman here - aged 49. I have and have had many married men try it on with me whilst their wives gush all over social media about how their husbands would never cheat and how they trust them 100 percent and how they married the good ones! It's a real eye opener! Glad I'm single.

You just have to look to the statistics to see that the majority of people do cheat. Around 75% of men have cheated at least once and only about 50% will admit to regretting it. There would be some men who would never consider it, but they are very much a minority.
However.... Around 68% of women have cheated with similar regret rates so it's not really anything to do with the sex of the individual, it's more like humans (like most animals studied) are not programmed for long term monogamy.

I could almost be tempted to believe in karma! Love it when life works out so beautifully 😂

I think most people will cheat given the right opportunity.

And how would he feel if you said to him well that's ok, I'd cheat too if I had the chance (whether you would or not!) petty I know, but I bet he wouldn't like it! I hate this attitude that it's what men do. I bet he thinks the rules are different for women!

Yes I think most men would cheat if to was never going to be found out. I believe there is research to back this up too

I've heard multiple stories of men who pushed for an "open marriage" because they were convinced they could get multiple beautiful women and their life would be bliss. Turned out no women wanted them, but the wife easily found attractive and attentive lovers and she no longer wanted a monogamous relationship with her husband, who was now desperate to go back to the way things were before.

weird thing to say, I’m sure those who don’t value it or want it have already given it a rethink, but being fickl3 by nature and lacking attachment, they cover it with lies and deceit. Some don’t and have open marriages. I sincerely desire only monogamy. I’ve had only 2 relationships in my whole life, never had sex with anyone else, have a high sex drive when in a relationship, disinterested for the very long periods I’ve been single. I’ve been single for ten years, haven’t gone near a guy emotionally of physically, not interested unless I fall in love with someone. Never cheated on someone, inconceivable to me to be committed to someone and even see anyone else in that way, it’s never happened, hard enough to meet someone I feel attraction to. If presented with that unlikely situation, I have values and wouldn’t bypass those values! Better for people to be with other people that tick the same way they do, causes less heartache. Good to be honest about who you are a a person so there is true consent when someone dates you.

What a bastard. And the nerve to get angry with YOU after confessing something so horrible and awful!

I think being honest. Most people would if they thought they would never get caught. People are programmed to have sex for continuation of the species

Also - if my husband of 30 years told me this I would be livid and assume he had cheated but not sure what I would do beyond that.

If a new man I was dating told me this I would dump him immediately as evidently our moral values would not be aligned.

Controlling behaviour isn’t it

This. I know a large number would but I used to travel for work around a lot of married male expats whose wives were back in their home countries.

A very large number took opportunities to cheat but there was a not insignificant number who did not.

Actually making the decision to cheat is about moral character. Some people are of lower morals and values than others and that spills over into multiples areas of their lives.

Go talk to a sex worker, you’ll understand

This is how many of them think, you got honesty from a man which is kind of impressive. Once you realise this truth, it’s up to you whether you want to invest in one (I’m done personally)

And yet I have seen men turn down opportunities multiple times

I think your husband is quite awful. Honestly, I know there's a lot of negative comments here about how majority of men would if there were no consequences but I don't really believe that. I know it's wrong to blindly trust but there are so many men who I know in my life, including my husband, who just wouldn't find the need? They are happy with their wives and cheating is unnecessary for them. They aren't all animals.