AIBU to think that shopping is now a cumbersome and alienating experience?

I came onto your thread thinking I wouldn't particularly agree with you, @HauntedBungalow but the summary in your OP was really telling and I do agree with you.

Strange that this bleakness should happen just at the time when capitalism basically depends on us buying endless crap that we don't really need just for the thrill of purchase.

Makes me think of a street corner drug dealer who can be as vile as he likes to the worn out broken wraith who buys from him, just because he knows how fully addicted she is.

I agree in general and am aware that funnily enough because I'm rich and live in a city I avoid a lot of this (but not all of it). So I do my food shopping in Waitrose (pleasant, usually meet a friend on the checkout) the local Coop or markets because we still have a proper market. I agree clothes shopping is fairly painful, I buy clothes on Ebay, charity shops, John Lewis (which to me is the only place it's still enjoyable to browse) or small websites called something like Wool for Wankers which assures me that the jumper I'm buying is from sheep that are personally invited to tea with the farmer once a week. I deliberately avoid any organisation that uses Evri and I don't look at sales, discounts or apps (again except for John Lewis who probably count as my religion these days).

All this is because I have money. The great democracy of shopping we used to have is long gone.

I find in person shopping a pain now. Like you say, they often don't have the full range of items or sizes in the shop. I usually only go to in-person shops now to return items I bought online (when I'm already in the town anyway for work or other errands). I have a browse while I'm there and rarely find anything good. I'm glad they're there for true emergencies but shopping for most things is something I do online now.

I don't find online shopping a pain at all, I love how easy it is. I don't find returns complicated, but I do regularly go into a town for work. I guess it's mildly annoying having to order a lot of things at once (and have the money "on hold" until I return things) rather than just try on the items in store, but the items are never in store anyway so it's kind of moot.

You sound irritable. Are you this dissatisfied in other areas of your life? I'm asking because I feel like you're hyper focusing on all the negatives and that's not the full picture.

I keep hoping it will be the end of pointless consumerism but doubt it given the shite on offer.

I agree OP, I used to love shopping. I remember going to the high street trying on clothes, so much choice and quality and great service. Used to love getting a bargain too.

Now there are hardly any shops, quality is poor and the service (mostly) awful. My DD ordered a load of stuff from Zara last week, all a size 10 but all varied massively in size, she then had to pay to send it all back!

I rarely shop in person any more - what’s the point as nothing I want to look at is ever in stock. John Lewis is particularly bad for this.

@Garlicnorth

But I still don't know why it's so bloody keen on apps.

It's because of the cost and effort to keep two different systems operating. In the future, there will be only apps.

Far more people use a smart phone or ipad daily than who use a laptop or desktop computer daily. Younger people just reach for their phone/tablet when doing things like checking train times, online banking, online shopping, etc. They're using laptops for things like writing essays and homework etc, so once they've left school/college/Uni, their laptop will end up in a cupboard!

When there's the critical mass on app users only, they will start turning off the website browser versions of their systems.

I never liked shopping in person - out for hours and still not finding what you wanted. Now I do all the '"I need this specific item" shopping online and only occasionally have a mooch round the shops when they are interesting.

For me it's partly because a lot of the clothes aren't for me, I'm too clammy for polyester and beige just makes me look like something from a butchers display. When I do need new clothes it's more like a frustrating trawl for the least worst option.

I've not been actual shopping to buy stuff in 20 years

I only go now for 'nice extras' - candles/gloves/make up. I NEVER go for 'needs', I buy all that online.

That way I'm not disappointed. I go 3 times a year to Liberty, Bond Street, regent street but only for a small purchase (under £100) and only for stuff I don't need.

Everything else is second hand off EBay.

As a child and a teenager I remember how great shopping was but I suspect I just had more tolerance then for trying on and browsing the rails.

I loved department store shopping with my Mum in Fenwicks/Peter Jones, we'd buy from most departments and then walk out with a dozen bags and get a taxi. Each department serving you individually and then wrapping and paying at that till.

Its thankfully not so bad in my country. Supermarkets have plenty of workers, always manned tills open (and the vast majority of people use them, even if they only have a couple of items, which is perhaps annoying in itself when you have to queue but I'd rather queue than lose the manned tills), so I still enjoy doing the weekly shop.

Clothes shopping I'm less keen on, but that's more to do with finding it difficult to find clothes I like (can't bear certain materials as they feel so weird on my skin, so I try to only buy pure cotton or linen whenever possible), and some shops are starting to go down the self-service till route but I've always found manned tills open too.

Hate shoe shopping though, feels almost impossible to find shoes that fit right, they're always too tight in the toes, and they're always so expensive.

Buying online I stick to shops I know are actual real shops, with real in-country physical shops and warehouses as well as their webshops. Costs more but I know I'm not going to get some weird poor quality shot.

What really winds me up is retailers selling other retailers stuff, next is a prime example am I looking through their website or say yours clothing? Everywhere feels like it sells the same thing as the next place.
I used to love shopping a wonder round oddly a nice carrier bag would get me in places and then some nice coffee and lunch now I end up ordering on the internet.
Sad times really.

One of the reasons is that US retail staff are more likely to work on commission- “did anybody help you today?”.

I used to enjoy going clothes shopping. If your size wasn’t on the rail you’d ask if they had one in the back, and very often it was. Now they’ve got XS or XXL and nothing in between. I think that if a shop doesn’t have your size in, they should order it for you and send it to your home with no P&P to pay.

I only use a few brands for clothes shopping so know my size and what I want, grocery shopping is mainly done online, top up shopping in M&S or Waitrose. If I want to browse the stores we have a nice retail park with lots of clothes shops that is free parking or I walk but I mainly buy clothes online anyway

See, this would piss me off more than any of the above 🤨

People need human interactivity.
I feel like a freaking robot these days shopping online. Well, that's what is. Coercion is an understatement.
Sometimes I feel like refusing to be drawn in and deleting my profiles everywhere. FFS leave me alone AI bots

Is anybody else mystified by the coercion to use apps? I don't get it - they can't get any more customer data from an app than the website (or the staff, back in the day when they had staff and incentivised them to give you a discount for joining their list).

Shelf talkers increasingly list two prices, the lower one for scanning the product in their bloody app. Online shopping - 🔥 discount! 🔥 when you order through the app! 🌟 special offers! 🌟 App only! Or ... 😞 the website doesn't work 😞 but you can shop through our app! Why the hell would I want to browse products on a 15 x 7 centimetre screen instead of a nice big one? And why are they so determined that I should??

You know, I was on the thread about old people not keeping up with technology (I have skin in both ends of this game) and got terribly exasperated by the endless stream of posts stressing that you've got to keep up with it or you're fucked. This basically means people have now accepted that humans must do, behave, be whatever 'tech' wants, or - well, die? Pundits used to warn of this, it seems to have happened: the person works for the computer now, not the other way round.

Of course 'the computer' doesn't want you wandering around in the open, making independent choices without asking, so in-person shopping keeps getting less appealing. But I still don't know why it's so bloody keen on apps.

Grocery shopping I do online and get it delivered. Much quicker and more convenient than doing it in store. The only drawback is that it can get a bit samey because I'm not looking at different items or offers.
Christmas and gift shopping probably 80% online. I like thinking about gift ideas then googling to find what I want, then again to find the best price. Also adult children send me links so I know I'm getting something they really want.
Clothes shopping mainly Vinted or Charity shops.It has to be something pretty special for me to buy new ( Apart from knickers, bras and socks😀)
My local shopping area is a bit dire. Lots of empty shops and too much traffic.

Like the good old days and bumping into friends and going for random coffee or lunch invitations. Socialising in real life.

I don't understand how we are being herded to join in though. And then there's AI.
I'm in UK and vexed altogether

I agree. I also find staff in the US on the whole to be more helpful and pleasant. As you say, if capitalism is the cause of shopping problems, then it’s strange that the US experience is better than the UK. There must be another reason.

I must be lucky to live in small town NZ then as I haven't found any of these issues here. I do buy a lot online, but am tiring of that as I am so sick of sending things back, and am having a battle with a cumbersome return service at one store, which I won't be using again if there is the remotest possibilty something might have to be returned. I would say most of my friends buy from actual stores though, and they seem happy enough. The service in our local supermarkets is also pretty good.

I grew up with adverts like this.( probably seems really naff these days but look how inviting it is! ) We had a fabulous Richards Shop in town in the 70s/ early 80s, was like an Aladdin's. Cave of beautiful styles, jewellry, makeup, fabrics, including Biba. Miss those days so much!