My partner not wanting my mum to see my new baby

Take your child to see your mother on your own

Depending on where MIL lives that could be a long time! As I said, the breastfeeding mother here gets the say, NOT the male!

Fuck me, of course I was, I'm not a fucking dinosaur! I even gave birth in the 21st century and everything!!! God you have some very odd views.

I limited exposure as best I could but the woman was totally addicted and I wasn't going to forbid her to see her own grandchildren.

She wasn't allowed to smoke indoors.

Anything else you would like to patronise me on?

Are you seriously trying to tell me that no parents now smoke or vape, because that's patently not true however it is "drilled into" people.

And no, I do neither, before you try to make another silly accusation!

Oh and guess what - I even breastfed all three for at least a year. Go me!

Um, people are suggesting the father just take off with the newborn to his mothers. Even a breastfeeding newborn. How else would you describe it? Go on, tell me!

Don’t be ridiculous, no one said that the baby should be ripped from the mothers breast!!!
The grandmother can see the baby between feeding times
She could also come to the house and the mother could go upstairs for a nap / go out for a walk

Um, the baby is 8 days old, @whynotnowdear , and would be most likely breastfeeding. You're honestly saying a man should rip an 8 day old newborn from it's mother's breast?!?? The mother who just gave birth 8 days ago is the one who has the say!!

I literally put up w mil rambling on about nappies. You’ve reminded me now. I’m chuckling at her buying me reusable - which I tactfully waited till she left and chucked.

I like my mil, but she is often a pain in the ass. Thankfully I married her son, not her. I have my faults…. But one of them is not using every tactless comment/ characteristic of people to justify me being a total asshole to them.

My mil adores my kids. Ya she does things that I eye roll at privately. I put up with it because she adores my kids. Anyone who loves my kids the way she does, and treats them the way she does, will get a huge amount of tolerance from me. I want my kids’ lives to be full of love.

Rip from the mothers breast 🤣🤣🤣 what is it with all this dramatic language?? I am laughing but it’s actually not funny at all.

I presume you weren’t aware of the risks of second hand smoke when your children were babies, or you would have asked her to stay away/ followed the guidelines for smokers around babies. It is well publicised now and drilled into pregnant women and new parents by midwives/ health visitors.

He’s your child too. You have every right to introduce your son to his grandmother. Partner doesn’t like it? Then that’s just too bad…..

Um, the baby is 8 days old, @BlueSky2024 , and would be most likely breastfeeding. You're honestly saying a man should rip an 8 day old newborn from it's mother's breast?!??

Literally the mother who's given birth is prioritised since time immemorial.

We just didn't used to be so selfish.

You are right in that that could be possible, but I still think the OP is male and that his partner gave birth.

However, as a man and a husband, I do find the wording of the first sentence of the OP rather odd for a man to have written. "I have recently had a baby boy with my partner " sounds really strange for a man to have written. "We have recently had..." or "My partner has recently given birth to our baby boy..." would sound more natural for a man to have written

More likely but not impossible 🤷‍♀️

and it doesn’t sound like anyone is being abusive in this situation regardless.

So many lazy assumptions!

The abuse is from the male, @Choccyscofffy . OP's partner is the MOTHER. She is more likely to be the victim of abuse, not the instigator! FFS she gave birth 8 days ago!!

That’s not the same as feeling comfortable though. That’s feeling protective. It’s not the same as having just given birth.

Abusive? Because she talks about flights etc?!

My mil does this. I find it faintly annoying. She clearly thinks I don’t do enough for sustainability etc. Am I being abused? Come on….

The word abuse should mean smt. If we use it in every context where we are made to feel slightly annoyed or uncomfortable it loses its power.

My MIL had form for being tactless. She also smoked like a chimney and drove me mad by leaving my babies stinking of cigarette smoke.

I still wouldn't have banned her for a month!

And the baby's mum can't claim that she isn't up to people visiting because plenty have apparently!

Nowhere 🤣🤣🤣 I despair at how not getting along with someone automatically means a person must be abusive and toxic.

She hasn’t cut her off. She doesn’t want her there for a month. I wouldn’t want someone coming to lecture me about being eco when I’m knee deep in nappies and wipes either. OP dripfed that partner likes to cut people off but that isn’t what the first post says, it says she wants to wait a month.

Where does it say she's "abusive"??

I’d love to take bets on whether OP is male or female…

Why are you so upset about this Lego? I mean isn’t it obvious that it’s statistically more likely on mn that OP is male, his partner is female and gave birth?! Aren’t people just making a statistically reasonable assumption until they are given more information to the contrary. No one is saying this is the way it SHOULD be.

Is this prejudice now? Honestly, please inform me - I don’t want to be prejudice!

Thank you, I like it!

No it is not!! It is more than fair, especially when that MIL is abusive and condescending!!

You can say that again.