Does it sound like my DD is normal for 10 years old?

I have a wonderful family member in her late 40s. She (nor I) never wears full face makeup and she uses her imagination every day as a theatre director! Cherish it OP and nurture it… what do you think writers, artists and playwrights are like as kids? It’s wonderful to be able to use imagination and helps with all sorts of jobs - and life skills like problem solving!
I hope my DD continues to use her imagination for a life time and I’ll be damned pleased if she never wears full face makeup!

She sounds lovely. There is absolutely no need for her to grow up quickly. Perhaps the only thing i would say would be washing her own hair? But you did mention that hearing aids could make this trickier for her?

I am 28 have a 2 year old and partner but I sleep with a stitch cuddly toy, my 31 year old partners bunny sits next to us on the bedside as he is too delicate to come into bed now.

Maybe your ex just wants her to fit in and not be bullied, but he is going about it in a dickish way. His opinions about make up and screen time are ludicrous.

She sounds lovely and perfect OP. I have a 10yo daughter who sounds similar. Enjoy it while you can as it may not last much longer. They are sweet and wholesome and practicing their life skills in age appropriate ways.

There is all the time in the world for them to watch screens, wear skimpy clothes and change themselves to be pleasing to the male eye…. None of it should happen a day before they are ready.

also all our kids should know they are valuable just as they are.

Mine is couple months away from your DD and your sounds pretty much like mine. Plays with dolls, soft toys, Barbie, squishy mellows, recent visit to Selfridges she picked only a Jellycat soft toy and it goes everywhere with her (until dethroned by the next one!). She still sleeps with her childhood fav toy, loves UNO, art & painting, jenga. Doesn't have huge interest in Lego, complex board games, online gaming or other gaming etc. she does have a tablet but I'm actively keeping her away from it as much as possible and she's ok with it. Huge TV buff!! Zero interest in skincare or makeup. I don't allow it at all. Even her older sister isn't much interested. Overall very basic lifestyle.
I don't know if this matters but she goes to an independent school and isn't influenced by her peers - some of whom are into gaming/ sport/specific stationary or shoes etc.

Yours sounds totally ok and I would be holding off DH from pushing her into growing up too soo with makeup/Screens etc. just why?

Exactly this. I'd also be a bit concerned at his insistence that a 10 year old should be in a full face of makeup.

Kids are all different and that's fine. My cousin and I are the same age and at 10 she was VERY into boys, make up, clothes etc (I remember her calling the helpline that was set up after Take That disbanded multiple times 🤣).

I was into outdoorsy stuff mainly, still building dens, climbing trees and going horseriding etc. No interest in clothes whatsoever. I loved a board game night and still played lego (and Sylvanian Families 😬). I've turned out fine (as has my cousin!)

Honestly your daughter sounds perfectly normal.

Your daughter sounds ace and your ex sounds like a twat who has no knowledge of child development. Ignore him and get her more Barbies.

Mine is 10 also year 6.

She likes stitch but won’t wear any clothes with it on. Also liked the Barbie movie but stopped playing with Barbie’s are 8. She still gets a single Barbie at Christmas as it’s a running joke Dad buys her a Barbie every Christmas & this year she still found it funny which was sweet.

She has a phone, has to be reminded to charge it but got a laptop for Christmas and sits reading medical things. Today she’s made us a presentation on cancer..

Loves her skincare. They are all into bubble skincare in her friendship group so she does that twice a day, puts dove everyday glow moisturiser on but she does 7 hours of ballet a week along with park runs, weekly Pilates and recently a kids strength and conditioning class at the gym. She often has various kids films on during her tv time in her room or series like Sam and Cat and most mornings or when getting ready Alexa is playing & she’s singing along. Saves her pocket money for particular makeup (glosses mainly) and perfumes.

Clothes wise, we’ve moved away from leggings for every outfit and she likes to put outfits together based on her style. Today for example was flare new look jeans, white fox hoodie, uggs, heartless curls and a oversized winter coat. Tomorrow we are out and she’s put out tights, tweed skirt, roll neck jumper and a MAC style coat with biker boots. She gets a budget for clothes every quarter and can pick what she wants but the last 13-16 months she’s opted and found clothes on Vinted as she’s figured out herself she gets more for the money especially if she can make bundles.

She walks to and from home (approx 1 mile), goes to the shop on her own and can confidently make purchases. Since she was 7 we’ve taught her how to cook and once a week she cooks tea - with us in the kitchen but it’s her meal she’s found online to cook, she goes into the shop to purchase whatever she needs that we don’t have in and has learnt forward meal planning as a result. More recently we’ve started letting her stay home for 60-90 minutes on her own ie when taking the baby swimming on a Saturday morning she’ll much rather stay and get ready for dance but often we’ve come back and she’s emptied the dishwasher or washing machine as it’s finished whilst I’ve been out despite not being asked.

I don’t think she believes in Santa anymore but she won’t ever admit that to me as she loves the magic of it all. She loves imaginary play and has had more fun with her 16 month old baby sister’s play kitchen than she has! Oh and she doesn’t own or ever owned a video game console or iPad so don’t let your ex define that as being ‘grown up’.

Mine has had to grow up in some aspects quicker than others due to various factors but also being around older girls through the various clubs over the years I think has influenced her maturity a little.

Its hard because although I do think this is lovely and kids do grow up to fast I would be slightly concerned about her fitting in with friends and would be worried about her being left out

My DD is a year younger and also summer born. She's similar to your DD in some ways, but the problem is she's starting to feel pressured to be more 'grown up' - not from us but from peers. I think it's actually fantastic that your DD is comfortable being who she is.

My DD would probably get on really well with your DD and I would love for her to have a friend like that! Your DD sounds absolutely delightful.

The only babyish parts are the playing with dolls and barbies

It really isn't. Imaginative play is absolutely age appropriate.

People give three year olds Barbies but those children are much older before they are able to play with them properly. It sad that as a society we think that makeing young children act like they are five years older is an achievement. It's an awful thing to do to them and, even if it's happening a lot, it shouldn't be considered normal or a stick to measure other children by.

She sounds lovely.

Ive just been to visit my 10 year old niece. While we were there she read a lot, played mario kart, did some painting. She's not at all interested in makeup. She's not so much into dolls but obsessed with cats & has lots of cuddly cats, pusheen pyjamas etc.

Some of your DDs games & activities do sound a bit simple/easy. I wouldn't count monopoly as a "more grown up game", my 8 year old loves it (adult version not junior), I think by 10/11 lots of children get into board games that have a bit more going on than snakes and ladders, and basic glitter/sticker crafts are often replaced by things requiring a bit more skill like french or normal knitting, watercolour paints or pottery. Maybe encourage her to extend her skills a bit with things like her sewing - i think things like this give DC a bit more mature things to talk about/do with friends that aren't screen based as they get older. If she likes sewing etc she might enjoy makimg changes to her clothes etc which is both fun & age appropriate

Does he have a new partner with a daughter of a similar age? If so, he might be looking at what she is into and comparing her with your daughter.

The only babyish parts are the playing with dolls and barbies and the character clothing the rest is normal. If she enjoys these things it seems mean to make her stop. You don't sound like you are babying her, you allow her to walk home from school and have some independence. I think it's fine for now but it will be different in year 7 the clothing part and paying with dolls could lead to bullying maybe that's what he is worried about but there are ways of saying things. It is sad to make kids grow up before they are ready to but I can tell you secondary can be savage. I agree with some past posters that this age is mixed, my dd had started her periods in y6 was quite mature for her age whereas some of the boys especially would still seem very childish more like year 4s than 11 year olds.

I can see why he is your ex OP. He sounds like a total plonker. Why is everyone always trying to make kids grow up too soon? I hate the fact that primary age girls have full skincare and makeup routines, it sickens me to my stomach. Let them be kids for longer. OP you are doing everything right and sound like an amazing mum. Don't listen to the prick.

It makes me so sad to hear that at 10 these things are seen as too babyish. My goodness, they're only little for a short time, why the need to rush them. Why are 10 year olds having phones and talking about make up? It seems crazy to me - they're children! Your daughter sounds lovely, and the longer she is happy with who she is just cherish that. Doing things because you're 'supposed to' or 'everyone else is', when your heart lies elsewhere is the cause of so much sadness.

I mean - she’s happy right? It doesn’t matter. They’re only little for so long - she’s not hurting anyone, she sounds lovely.

I see why he is an ExH, what a clown

SHE sounds normal
Sadly it’s society that isn’t, expecting little girls to act like women in their 30s.

This^

People who think she sounds young for her age are probably just used to being around children who are pushed by people like the ex to act older than they are.

10 year olds still need to play to rehearse skills and make sense of the world. People who try to make them into cute mini-adults aren't doing them any favours.

Make-up at 10 is ridiculous. What do they do to feel grown up at 15/16 if they start watching explicit films and using make-up at the age of 10? I guess that would be smoking, drinking, drugs and sex.

I'm reluctant to bash your ExH too much, because bullying can completely scramble your sense of what's normal and what isn't. However, his attitude towards screens makes him sound as if he's been hiding in a cave away from all the horror stories about young people and social media. Surely, if he's been paying attention, he'd be delighted his ten year old isn't interested in that particular rabbit-hole yet? What's more, the fixation with make-up is very odd. As PPs have suggested, he should take a look around him the next time he's in a pub or supermarket; how many adult women actually bother with full make-up? If they don't need it, a little girl certainly doesn't.

As for your DD's interest in dolls and other toys, plenty of children grow up into adults who collect Lego, teddy-bears and dolls and dolls' houses. Doll collecting, eg, of elaborate Victorian porcelain creations, is a serious business and some antiques experts specialise in dolls. Your ExH shouldn't dismiss your DD's perfectly age-appropriate interests so easily. He has no idea where they might lead her.

For what it's worth, your delightful child wouldn't have raised an eyebrow when I was growing up in the 1970s, surrounded by books, dolls, fuzzy-felts, felt-tip pens and Christmas annuals. I know it's a long time ago, but we seem to have accelerated growing up and growing out of childhood to a rate that can't possibly be healthy.

Yes to this.

He sounds like a pervert.

I agree with @shuggles wrt Santa Claus though.

OP now is the perfect time to tell her. Christmas is over, she has a year to let it sink in.

She should also be learning the basic facts of life now.

SHE sounds normal
Sadly it’s society that isn’t, expecting little girls to act like women in their 30s.

My only concern would be the Santa business. But of course 10 year olds should be paying with toys and doing fun activities like choir and Guides

Your exH is a prick, and I would frankly be considering limiting the amount of time your child spends with him, if you can.

Full face makeup at age ten?

Why does he want her done up in a way that will attract male attention?

He sounds ghastly, and actually really irresponsible.

I didnt see anything you listed as babyish at all every child is different.. Btw I have green sparkly hearing aids and in 44, 😁