Does it sound like my DD is normal for 10 years old?

She sounds just like my nephew who’s the same age. He seems young for his age but I think it’s just all other kids that are being pressured into growing up too fast. They’re more like kids were before they got their hands on too much technology at a young age. I do worry about how he’s going to fit in at high school though!

DS1 and 2 are in their 20s and still play with Lego!

DS2 played with dolls etc at 10 and also board games. He slept with his cuddly toys until he was 15!

Your daughter is being completely age appropriate in her play. If you want to hold on to your sanity, don't introduce her to Monopoly.

you do need to tackle the Father Christmas issue shortly. It probably won't come as a huge shock to her.

Your DD sounds lovely OP. Keep believing in and supporting her interests as you know her far better than her DF, who rarely sees her. Many parents would love to have such a sensitive, confident and thoughtful child. Her imagination speaks volumes to her emotional intelligence- what a gift!

I think your ex wants the best for her but is going about it in the wrong way. There are plenty of ways of being these days - much more understanding of difference. Imo your ex needs to accept who she is and stop trying to force stuff on her.

The only thing I would say though is that autism in girls is very badly understood, even by professionals. Both my daughters are on the autistic spectrum, but if you met them you wouldn't guess, as they mask so well in public.

Not wanting to do what peers are doing and sticking with much younger games etc could be seen as not picking up on social cues, not caring what others think.

My younger daughter was like this. She played with baby dolls way longer than anyone else. In fact we had to buy her a proper buggy to push her dolls around in as she was too big for the toy ones!

She moved on to the lifelike dolls that people often collect (see Ashton Drake). It was her specialist interest - autistic girls often choose something sort of socially acceptable and often involving people or dolls rather than random stuff like Thomas the Tank Engine like the boys do.

My daughters are just who they are. We decided to let my daughter push life-like dolls around in a buggy but I know lots of people wouldn't. The issue is you might allow it but your ex won't and that could be hard.

Good luck.

Sounds like a well adjusted and completely normal child.

Why is your ex in such a hurry to push her into being older? Some of The behaviours he is wanting her to exhibit are too old. Who wants to push their kid onto screens all the time when she would rather plan?

A full face of makeup at 10 is pretty disgusting in my opinion (and I very rarely use that word).

Perfectly normal and age appropriate. Why is her so keen for her to grow up before she is ready. He should be glad she wants to play with toys before a phone or tablet. He needs to butt out as he had no idea.

YANBU, it's the skincare and 'being hot' ten year olds that are the exception, not the rule - that's why you get people writing articles about them and not girls like DD. Kids go at their own pace, and you go with that - it doesn't sound like you're doing anything to keep her less mature, you're just letting her be herself and that's exactly what you ought to do.

She sounds very sweet and lovely.
She's pretty much exactly the same age as my DD and I'd say sounds a tad bit younger emotionally but not excessively so.

It's a funny age, some of my DD's year group are allowed social media and there's a marked difference between what she calls 'the tiktok girls' and those like her who are more sheltered.
DD is starting to show an interest in skincare etc mostly influenced by chatting to friends, she's definitely developing an interest in clothes and her appearance. But she also still loves her schleich animals and will often use playing with her little brother as an excuse to pick up the rainbow high/monster high dolls and do a bit of pretend play and she gets totally absorbed when they do. She's very artistic and she's started to take that more seriously and trying to develop actual skills and techniques rather than just for fun now.

It's a transitional age, there'll be a variation from child to child. If she's happy which it sounds like she is and achieving at school I'd let her take her time and enjoy being the age she is, she has her teen years to act like a teenager. It's a shame your ex can't see the joy in her innocence.

Surely the last thing a 10 year old needs is full face make up. I think she sounds like most 10 year olds used to be when I was growing up. If only they were all so charming.

She sounds like an amazing young girl with an incredible imagination. Your ex is speaking rubbish. It makes me so sad to see so many young children growing up before their time. Embrace every moment of her enjoying these things.
My youngest is in year 5 and will be 10 in August. She does have special needs but she is miles away from makeup and phones etc. Let them be kids as long as they can be. There is enough time to be in the scary adult world. Protect that innocence and joy.
You will probably see a big change in her once she starts secondary school anyway. My son is in year 7 and has gone from having no friends to talking on his phone all day.

She sounds great, your ex sounds like a complete twat, what parent wants their child to get into make up and video games that have older ratings? Even if she had slightly younger preferences, so what? What's the harm? Does he really think she will still be playing with dolls at 17? I know plenty of adults who still love lego

As the mother of a 20 year old your post made me quite teary!! You should treasure every moment while she still wants to do these things and your ex sounds completely mad.

She sounds fairly similar to my DSD9 who loves dolls, Lego, etc and is just starting to get into make up a little bit. Let them be little!

She sounds fine to me!

Ds2 got lego and a cuddly toy for Christmas. He is 15 6ft 3. But he still is a sucker for a soft toy - loves a squishmallow (or whatever they are called). The cuter the better.

I think your ex is getting a bit of a hard time here. I agree with most posters that her interests seem age appropriate / possibly a little on the young side, but that 10 is a transitional age and she doesn’t need to be hurried along. I also of course agree - I hope everyone does! - that your ex’s ideas on makeup and the heavy-handed way he’s going about imposing his views are unacceptable.

However, surely your exH is worrying about her and her potential happiness at secondary school? Perhaps this is exacerbated by his anxiety about possible discrimination or bullying related to her being d/Deaf, or by his feeling like he has less ‘control’ (for want of a better word) as you co-parent, or by his own negative experiences of school. Would he be open to reflecting on what’s at the root of this, in a frank discussion with you or with a professional or both at once?

Your dd sounds great. She might be a little “young”compared to some of her peers with older interests but she’s not so “young” that her peers wouldn’t be able to relate to her. It’s an age where there can be massive differences between kids but it’s often environmental like birth order or access to things like social media. My dd is the only girl in my family and this is the age where she’d go on sleepovers and pick up on things like how to do eyeliner from girls who have older siblings who have shown them but she also loved things like crafts.
Lego is truly for every age ime - my 18 year old son and 22 year old daughter were happy to receive some for Christmas because there are sets for everyone.

She sounds perfect! Let them be young - the years fly by don’t they.

She sounds absolutely fine, yes a bit on the young side but there's nothing wrong with that. My 14yo still collects TY toys and novelty rubber ducks, she still likes playing with slime and that sort of thing. Some kids do grow up early and I do think it depends on the peer group a lot of the time.

Your ex thinks she should have a full face of makeup and a skincare regime at TEN ?? That’s a very weird thing to expect of a child, and actually quite creepy. The only makeup any of my group had at ten was nail varnish, or a lipgloss stolen from an older sister for dressing up.
I still played with my dolls at ten, and like your dd I was using a lot of imaginative play when playing alone. My own dds are now teens and neither really played with dolls at all, but they weren’t wearing any makeup at ten, not for parties or anything else. My younger one loved cuddly animals at that age and only gave a load away a couple of years ago at fifteen.

Your dd sounds totally age appropriate.

She sounds entirely normal and like every 10 year old I knew when I was a 10 year old in the 90s.

The problem now is that so many young kids have access to tik tok etc in year 4/5/6 that they end up like mini teenagers way before they should be. I work in secondary schools and have seen a real shift in the behaviour of year 7s in the last 5 or 6 years. They used to come still very much as children, no make up (or the odd one with an older sister might have lip gloss), still had fairly childish stationary. Now so many come in with a full face of make up and act so much older than they are.

Your ex is being a dick and wants her to be someone she's not.
We meet our children where they are at, not where we want/think they should be.
Your daughter sounds like she has a fantastic range of interests.

My DD was similar to yours at that age op....she loved barbies, dressing them up etc, she played with her dolls house a lot, always doing crafts, Lego etc. She was not in the slightest bit interested in make up. She also only ever did guides and brownies as her extra curricular activities.

I much prefer this than children growing up too quickly.

All my 10 year old has asked for for her birthday is a new baby doll and Wicked Barbie type dolls. She is a full Father Christmas believer and not into make up or fashion. She is so creative and in to drama and I have often questioned if she’s too young for her age. Then I give my head a wobble and remember she’s only bloody 10! And who cares! My daughter also has an iPhone and I don’t think she has picked it up for about 2 months 😂. There is plenty of time for them to be grown ups ♥️. Your husband needs to learn to love and appreciate your daughter for who she is and not what he expects her to be.

Absolutely this would not be normal at all.

some year 7s I know are showing an interest in make up but full face and skin care routine before 14+? Nah

She sounds normal to me, if on the younger side. Definitely there will be lots of 10 year olds who are into more grown up things, but also plenty who enjoy the things your DD does.

I can see not wanting her to be teased for being babyish but I think your ex is going too far. Why on earth would anyone want their 10 year old to be wearing full face makeup??