To be upset with my boyfriend over this ?

You sound lovely. Very thoughtful and loving. He sounds horrible. You deserve someone that matches you and is going to show you the same affection and spring sweet little surprises on you. Get rid of him. x

Exactly

Why would you want to marry this utter waste of space??

The relationship has run its course. He is treating you with contempt so why you would want him to propose ..? He won’t anyway as he would have done so by now.

I think you should end relationship and find someone (in time) who would appreciate you and treat you well. You deserve better

I truly mean this with kindness for your own good:

1. This man does not even like you, let alone love you;
2. This man holds you in actual contempt;
3. This may be a new thing or it may always have been somewhat true. IT DOES NOT MATTER which, because...
4. This man does not have a moral character or temperament required for a long term relationship, marriage or family. That is because in a long term relationship there will INEVITABLY be times when the other person annoys you or you are just in a crabby mood or going through a very stressful time. If you have not been taught to manage your own emotions and treat your partner with basic courtesy and respect regardless of your feelings in the moment, you are not a suitable candidate.
5. You are currently young enough to cut this man loose and find someone who is suited for long-term partnership, marriage and family (if that's what you want). There are still plenty of good single men your age if you'd like to find a partner. You are still in good fertile years if you'd like children. If you let this relationship drag on, the chances of both of those things will become smaller. Even if you don't want these things, this man will continue to chip away at your self-esteem until you are a shell.

Please care of and respect yourself enough to seek out a good life for yourself, whatever that looks like, with people who are kind to you.

I feel sad 😭

This is women’s problem. We feel sad where we need to learn to feel angry.

Marriage isnt on the cards. If it was, he wouldve proposed by now - 4 years is long enough. Calling you a 'joke' and he can't be bothered is just plain rude. It does not bode well. You'll still be waiting for a proposal from him in another 4 years...

You're young enough to find someone who thinks the world of you. Women only have a limited window of time in which to have children, so dont waste any more of your time on this rude and selfish indivdual.

He might feel that he needs space and you are too much for him. But that doesn't make your behaviour wrong, just your relationship.

Some people are very affectionate. I have friends who constantly paw each other. It all honestly it would make me want to scream but that's a me problem. They are happy and compatible.

It doesn't seem like you are compatible and that it is becoming more and more obvious.

You know distance has grown and are trying to compensate with extra attention. He knows it and is pulling away.

At your age, please don't waste your time here. You are still so young. I don't mean this to patronise you, just that you have time on your side, for now.

But that time is relatively short. There are too many women out there who regret wasting these years on men who didn't deserve them. Don't be one of them.

Why on earth are you expecting a proposal from this awful man? He is treating you like dirt now just think what he would be like if you did marry him. Dump him.

YABU for putting up with this. But it’s only up to you if you do.

That sums it up. You’re so young you’ve got so much time to meet others. Grab the opportunity and get rid of this deadwood. (him). x

Dump him ffs. Wake up and leave him now. What a waste of your life.

Oh no. I've just noticed the age difference. OP, get away from him as fast as you can. He's a user.

Stop being miffed and bursting into tears, that irritates most folk and gets you nowhere, apart from into victimhood.

Be bold and stick up for yourself . Move on.

Agreed.

Stop waiting, OP. After 4 years he's not going to improve and he's certainly not going to propose. Don't waste your best years on him. He's a pig.

This. He's not worth any more of your time or love, OP. What he's doing is not how decent partners treat each other and you're not a 'joke', you're justifiably upset at his a'hole behaviour. Time to find someone who deserves you.

I find a 34 year old man dating a 21 yr old pretty creepy. He’s probably just bored as you’re aging and wants someone younger

Your relationship has run its course.

You do a LOT of growing up in your early 20s, so if you were only 21 when you got together, sounds like the two of you are no longer compatible.

Personally I'd call it a day, as there is no way I'd want to spend the rest of my life with someone that grumpy and rude!

Please find the strength to leave. He’s not going to change.

This. Too many women sleepwalk into marriages because they think it's the natural progression of the relationship/all their friends are doing it/it's expected. But they never stop to think if they actually want to marry this man?

He's upset you twice just today. Made you burst into tears. Came upstairs and then twisted the knife by rejecting you again. Says you're annoying. Moans about your thoughtful, out of the blue, for-no-reason-except-I-love-you gift.

Think carefully OP. Nobody should have to spend ONE day of their lives with a man who treats them like this, yet you seem to be thinking about/wanting to sign up to a lifetime of this...

LTB

I see no future for you guys. He sounds pretty awful. You're so young and I know that's no consolation right now but I wish I'd raised my standards younger

He treats you with utter contempt and I’m afraid once that’s set in, it’s unsalvageable. He sounds like a thoroughly unkind man. He’s 37 and is not capable of healthy relationships. You’re 25 and still so young. You sound so lovely and thoughtful. Please get rid of this nasty, bitter, miserable old git. I’m sure you can do so much better.

Yabu for wanting to marry this guy. Find someone better. Life is too short for anyone to treat you like this. Why why why do women convince themselves they need to stay with such utter twats???