To be upset with my boyfriend over this ?

He keeps you undermined and seeking affection and reassurance. You respond with trying to cuddle him and buying him sweets. He rejects you, you cry.

Result? Your self worth plummets and he has his live-in maid/emotional punching bag doing the Pick Me dance.

Find some pride in yourself and walk out. He is never going to marry you - even if he did he’d make you miserable.

He might dangle the promise of an engagement at some point to bring you back in line. Don’t fall for it.

There’s a reason he targeted a 21 year old when in his mid 30s; a woman without enough life experience to see his behaviour for what it is.

Best of luck, @Fairydustapplecrumble

Sounds like he wants to end things with you for whatever reason. Make his job easy and finish with him. Politely tell him not to speak to you like that and never give him the chance again. Also, eat the sweets for yourself and find a man who worships the ground you walk on, someone who will hive you the hugs and kisses and who will give you gifts 💐

Dump him

No wonder you feel sad, he’s treating you terribly! Leave. Now. Don’t look back. And find someone who worships you, as you deserve. I promise, someone’s out there looking for you and you’ve plenty of time to find him. Having said that, don’t waste another minute with the man-child of the moment.

I’m also not sure why a 33 year old would go for a 21 year old……it’s quite a gap at that age, could he not get someone his own age or they already knew him for being how he is?

Why would you want to be with someone capable of speaking to you like that?

And why haven’t you had a conversation about your future together after 4 years? If you want marriage then you need to communicate that and find out what he wants.

Honestly, let him go, and have a think about what you want from life. Be proactive about making it happen, instead of sitting back and letting someone else decide.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I had this sort of bastard from 24-30. A real
gas lighting nasty bastard. I walked on egg shells, put up with his shit, put up with his football fascination, put up with him staying out all night, put up with him running home to his mum and ex!!!!, put up with his threats and sulks. A real
fucking bastard. I was supposed to be marrying him, all booked everything but then I caught him cheating and I dumped him, cancelled the wedding, three weeks before. It was glorious! Please be glorious and dump
this piece of nasty shit.

Please don’t marry this man. I can’t see any point in you being saddled with him for the rest of your life. You are still young (and he’s heading to 40!), leave!!

Personally, I’d be gone. There seems to be no effort on his part, no kindness, no awareness that he’s being an arse and as far as I can see, no redeeming qualities to make me want to be in this relationship. Love yourself and value yourself enough to leave and find someone who will treasure you and treat you well. Don’t stay with someone that doesn’t. You’re not married so even easier to leave his sorry self behind!

I hope, by the time you read this, you have seen the light and dumped him.

He’s over the relationship now but too scared to end it. He’s possibly met or speaking to someone else. Don’t wait for him to apologise, walk away and find someone who actually likes you.

Is this unusual behaviour for him? We often take things out on those who are the closest to us without thinking through the consequences. Not an excuse for his actions, but there might be something else going on.

If this is a one off. Id seek to understand. There could be a legitimate reason for why he's acting like a pr!ck. Listen, understand but also tell him the impact he's making on you - be clear on your boundaries. Speaking to you like that is not ok.

If there is no reason. I think you're aware of your options. Put up or get out. I hope if this is the case you do the latter. Don't let someone else dull your shine.

You’re young op. Too young to waste your life on this awful loser.

GTFO, ASAFP!! It's a no brainer, you know you have to do it!

Ha, I’d of said ‘that’s fine while your having your fag and space from me, don’t bothering coming back’ girl get yourself out that’d a nasty man right there. You can do better and tears shouldn’t be wasted on them!!

OP, it's very obvious that he's deliberately treating you like this to humiliate and control you. You're desperately trying to be affectionate and thoughtful and he makes a point of rejecting it and showing zero gratitude. He wants you to be insecure and he wants to humiliate you by watching you put effort into pleasing him and then throwing it back in your face. He's got you dangling by a thread 24/7.

Honestly, he's a piece of shit. Have some dignity and leave him. Find someone who appreciates you and wants to make you happy.

I advise you to recognise your worth and dump this man baby. Do not divine yourself by a waste man’s treatment of you. You are kind and generous. Recognise your innate strength and start living. I say this as a person in my late forties. You have a lot of time to find a relationship that suits you. NEVER settle.

This is the begining of the highly abusive behaviour which is likely to escalate.

Take your sweets and run to the hills, you are worth so much more.

He doesn't want to be with you snd is trying to get you to end it

Life can be hard. It's much harder If the worst horror of all is the husband or partner waiting at home for you.

Yes, you've invested four years in this man but you're still young. There are plenty of nice no-smoking younger men out there who wouldn't dream of treating you this way. I wouldn't have taken on a man who was 12 years older than me with a smoking habit. I wouldn't want to be spending my forties looking after somebody with lung cancer or emphysemia.

Take the chocolates with you when you leave.

Can you imagine telling someone you like (let alone love) “I can’t be fucked with you, you’re a joke.”

Of course you can’t. The only person you would say that to is someone you despised and thought unworthy of even the lowest level of respect.

You’re 24. You are young and no doubt gorgeous in the way that 24-year-olds don’t realise they are. You should be out having the time of your life, not wasting your time and emotion on this dickhead.

Dump him and start enjoying life.

In a cowardly way he's telling you it's over.
You do sound immature and he's probably done with the trophy moment.
Sorry.

This.
leave him, he is awful. Why are you so desperate for the affections of an ogre. There are much nicer men out there!!