I realised too late I don’t like parenting

I have DDs 14 & 16 and tbh I’ve only really enjoyed parenting in the last couple of years! Being a parent is hard work. It’s relentless. It’s exhausting. It’s mentally draining. I’m loving their little bit of independence. Being able to have a laugh and a joke with them. Doing nice things together and them just being more like people than children. The early years were undoubtedly the hardest … it does get easier.

If you want me to make it clearer I will.

I wish people here would stop shouting about how dreadful their life is because they have a child. It's unbelievable. Anyway you'll be pleased to know I'm done with this negative thread surrounding innocent children who didn't ask to be born. Perhaps take a leaf out of the Radfords 22 kids & counting.

Of course parenting is exhausting and many of the other feelings posters have highlighted. That doesn't mean to say there are never aspects of parenting which make you realise having a child is the most beautiful & worthwhile experience you can have in life. It's the all encompassing negativity here I find hard to accept.

@Thoughtsonallsorts yes we all know, you don't find parenting hard, it's a magical breeze for you. That's great, we are all pleased for you.

People can find parenting hard, everyone's circumstances are different. Sometimes very different. Kids are all different. Parents are all different.
Nobody is doubting the kids aren't worth it. The op is in need of support and told that yes it's ok to say she doesn't enjoy parenting. That doesn't mean she neglects her kids or doesn't love them. Infact she loves them so much, she is utterly drained and burnt out, by looking after them without the support she needs.
Honestly, I hate when other people jump in to invalidate others.

OP mine are the same ages and one is a terrible sleeper. It’s really hard. We are in the thick of it but it will pass.

You can't bloody nap with another young child to look after.

You are very brave to admit it, many people feel this and don't feel they can be truthful.

Also what bugs me most about the parenting advice is
Nap when they nap. No she can't nap, she has a four year old to look after whilst the other one is napping.
Let people help more...sometimes grandparents live far away or don't show the enthusiasm to be involved.

Like if you could be doing these things you already would be.

And worth every second

I found age one awful. Still didn't sleep through the night. The slightest whiff of a cold, up the entire night, ill all the time. Clingy.
She's 2.5 now and I still find it tough but not as tough as age one.
It's relentless. The cooking, the cleaning, trying to stay organised. The lack of freedom I find the hardest.
Parenting is hard and the internet wants you to believe it's this magical feeling of love and happiness.
I also have a teen which is actually horrific.
Does it mean I love them any less? No. It doesn't. You're aloud to say it's hard and it sucks. Because most of it does.

All the comments are relating to people on this thread who are obviously not in the category of people your referring to which goes without saying. I'm also as entitled to post my views on this topic as you are.

If you’re younger one is struggling to sleep and you are tired , take some naps together. Forget the chores. Exercise self care. Get a break at weekends completely from children even if just a few hours to go for a swim/gym/class.

Got a 1 year old and a just turned 5 year old. I thank god we left nearly 4 years and the oldest is at school because it’s absolute chaos! Working full time, lots to take care of at home and then all spare time is with them. I adore them, they’re great sleepers but when they’re awake it’s a horror show sometimes. I feel pushed to the brink. Throw in a possible ADHD diagnosis for eldest and partner and I feel completely drained.
We’re looking at holidays at the moment (school holidays obv) and all I can think about is how we should have had many more just the two of us in far flung places. I can be longing for time away from them and miss them at the same time. It will happen one day, those holidays just us two and I’m not wishing the days away, just take each day at a time, we’re in the trenches as they say

It's so hard helping them regulate their emotions when being neurodiverse makes it so hard to regulate your own. I'm so easily triggered by my daughters anger or just loud noises so staying calm and patient is more challenging. I try teach her no emotion is bad and never push it down and let it build up which helps. I got her a dammit doll which is fun lol it's a soft teddy basically and she can throw it around to release some anger.

Thank you, yes there are times where I've been more patient with him than my parents were with me. I was just seen as a shy child but think there was a lot more stigma surrounding being different in the early 2000s.

Oh no bloody wonder you are not enjoying it! You’re exhausted from the lack of sleep and then you have to look after two little people (of - if anything like mine- varying moods). I have been there - mine were both terrible sleepers and for around 4 years I was like a zombie. My advice would be to get as many breaks as you can; have your 4 year old watch tv whilst the baby sleeps and have a little nap next to her; give yourself anything that gives you a little boost during the day: my coffee in my flask went everywhere with me!
for us it really changed when the youngest got to 3 and now they are a whole lot of fun to be around! And I realise how absolutely exhausted I used to be!

If you live in the developed world, in a country that's at peace, then there are people who would happily swap their problems for yours.

Perhaps you need to spend less time lecturing struggling mothers of small children and more time appreciating your own good fortune.

Nothing to add except solidarity. It’s hard. My only bit of advice is earplugs. When I’m going crackers from lack of sleep, DH does any night wakes and I put earplugs in. Just one decent sleep makes it feel much more manageable.
edit to add: the earplugs take the edge off during the day as well if they’re being particularly whingey

I have three kids, all teenagers now, with 3-year age gaps between them. I found that parenting got much easier when my second child turned 2 and could interact and play with her sister. The third was a breeze, he learnt so much from his sisters, including potty-training himself.

So hold on there for another year or so, it will be tough. But when the kids become each other's little buddies, entertaining each other, it's like "Wow, so that's the whole point of having more than one!"

Best wishes to you and the kids, it will get easier and is worth it in the end. Lots of people don't look back fondly at the exhaustion and crushing sense of responsibility in the early years, you're not alone.

I very much doubt it. Often it's the people who face the most problems in life who are the least likely to complain.

Solidarity - I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old that wakes every 2 hours i wouldn't change it, but the stress and sleep deprivation is bloody awful.