I realised too late I don’t like parenting

I honestly think a lot of people simply give into societal pressure and at the end of the day, I would also guess our instinct also kicks in and we don’t keep it in check.

I 100% do not want any more children and even I find myself often wondering about it. I was heartbroken to learn it’s unlikely I’d have any now in my 30s and I felt a little crazy considering I don’t even want any more to begin with.

Go out and do something. You’ll feel better for getting out, even if it’s a cold run around the park.

those are tough ages. Pre children I thought younger dc were better because they were cuter… with dc I much prefer older dc - from about 6 onwards. Mine are teens and life is easier in many ways as I have time to do me things (although not the energy if I’m honest).

No judgement from me OP. Ages are crap. Kids are often hard word and boring at these ages, and if work isn’t satisfying then thats worse for you.
do you have a partner? Parenting should not be all on you if so.

It is hard at this age. I have a 11 and 4 year old. It does get easier the more they age.
I've also often said that if we had a crystal ball, there would be less folk having children; less having them with their chosen 'baby daddies,' and more staying single.

I think I am a good parent. My children are adult now but the truth is I didn't like parenting either when they were young. I’d hear and read about parents saying how they wanted the child stage to last forever while I was wishing the years away until they were grown. They were great kids overall and i love them dearly and was a very good mum raising them but I didn't ‘enjoy’ it as such, it was one relentless day after another and doing it all by myself. Once they started school it got a whole lot better as it wasn’t 24/7 parenting.

Both my parents made it pretty clear all my childhood that they hated parenting. Especially my father, as he'd never wanted to be a parent in the first place.

So I knew from about age 9 children were not in my future. Now 56 and I've never changed my mind. Must be pretty devastating to want children, have them and then realise you don't like the whole experience. I don't feel 'smug' about my early realisation that it wasn't for me, just imagine that disliking being a parent must be far more common than is reported.

I do think one is much easier than two - that's why I only had one! But they're both young at the moment. Once they're 4 and 7 things should be easier. Or differently hard at least!

I have a 4 and 1 year old too and a lot of it is really hard. I struggle particularly with being on my own with them for the two days in a row during the week I am not working. I much prefer it on the weekends when my partner is home.
I think age 1-2.5 is harder in some ways than the baby stage because they’re more mobile but completely unable to judge danger. The three year age gap between them is tricky because it feels huge at the moment and I feel bad for my 4 year old who is brilliant on her own but feels quite noisy and demanding when I’m also attending to the little one.
My partner sleep trained the baby last week and that has helped with my stamina.

I think things will get easier when the weather improves being stuck in the house with small children does suck.

Someone once said to me that one is one, but two is twenty. There's a lot of truth in that!

One magical day though they'll be happily playing together while you get on with something and you realise that having two is actually making your life easier at that moment in time. And watching their relationship develop is genuinely lovely when they're not squabbling.

5 and almost 3 here. I completely lost myself for years. I’ve only just started to find myself again. I now run 3 times a week and I’d forgotten how amazing being alone is. I take a book to the cheap soft play once a week and enjoy reading with a cuppa for an hour. And they are now just old enough for me to enjoy doing things with them. Planning on teaching the oldest how to climb this year now he’s allowed on the climbing wall, and the trampoline place does a toddler and parent session I actively enjoy with the 3 year old. But my god it was a slog to get here.

I am not sure if your single parent but have you any relatives that would have them for a bit for you to give you a break.

It is so very hard, I get it.

This is why home start was so needed in my area but it got chopped :(

My 3 are all in their 30s - I'm quite enjoying being a parent now 😂

Honestly, it will get easier.

I might get flamed for admitting this, but for a good while after dd was born I use to fantasise about abandoning her in a shop or hospital so she would be taken into care. It got easier though and now I understand that I was overwhelmed and exhausted, compounded by the fact that my then husband didn’t support me enough.

When I had a child with my second husband, if I got to the point of sheer exhaustion he would pack me off for a hotel on my own for a night which was bliss. I would sleep for a good 10-12 hours and come back the next day feeling like a new woman

Is your partner doing enough?

Most of us hate parenting if that’s any comfort. Love the kids, hate the role.

Why do the kids stop you changing jobs?

It’s completely normal to feel this way with a 4 year old and a 1 year old and no sleep! You’ll feel entirely differently in a year or so with sleep.

My youngest is three now and I'm slowly starting to enjoy parenting.

Before recently however I could have crawled into a cave to just die

It’s very hard if you are either working or parenting 24/7. No wonder you are exhausted.

Do your children have any contact at all with their father/s? If he is just visiting then at your place, can you at least get him to take them out for a few hours? Don’t let him sit in your house, eat your food, taking photos for his Facebook page and pretend that’s parenting his kids.

Im assuming he is unwilling to have them to stay at his house at all? So many many fathers just walk away from their kids 😡

I sympathise! I positively hated my time at home when my 2 were little - early 80's, lots of us were SAHM and most said they loved it, either they were massive fibsters or I really was the odd one out. I couldn't wait for them to start reception and I looked on all schooling as glorified childcare. I was so bored, even though I loved them, and every day was a long monotous slog, repetitive and headache-inducing. They became wonderful adults and I've helped care for my grandchildren regularly but still looked forward to their bedtimes! Teenagers now and a positive delight - I'm the fun granny!

I'm sorry you're unhappy at work as well so everything must seem a misery atm. The childcare does get better as they get older (and others share the responsibility), I found a local girl studying childcare at our local college who'd come round 2 afternoons a week and take whoever was being more irksome out to the park which helped. It wasn't expensive and I gave her a glowing reference for her CV. Good luck 💐

Another one, genuine question.
Why don't women think harder what they want for themselves?
The fact that "it's gonna be different for me" is
a lie, as are most "traditional" things in life.

It gets easier, I promise!

At weekends are you each having a lie in?
DH would have his on a Saturday morning and I’d take the kids somewhere and then I’d have Sundays.
I also belonged to a gym with a Creche and would put the younger children in that sometimes too if I’d had enough!
I think it’s difficult at this time of year too as it’s too cold to be out for that long and also goes dark so early. That will improve as well.