I realised too late I don’t like parenting

It is hard work and I sympathise. Not much help now but it does get easier. I used to divide the day into blocks of time, 1 hour for the shops, 2 for a walk and to the park, 30 mins TV, 2 hrs playing in the house etc and found this helped. If you can try and encourage some independent play so they don’t always expect you to join in, those breaks for a cup of tea in the kitchen by yourself are priceless.

It doesn’t in my local community pool or in the next community pool 5miles away.

It is more expensive in the local hotel and in the nearby (nice) gym. It costs considerably more to go somewhere with water slides etc.

In the community pool, it costs no more than £15 for two kids (under 8) and one adult for forty mins. That includes hot showers afterwards That is not expensive.

Well I really hope this worked out for you. Are you enjoying having two?

Could you take yourself to a hotel and the children's Dad looks after them whilst you take a break? We didn't have family anywhere near us but I did go away for a weekend to see my friend and Dh had both children but then he was hands on so I didn't need any head space for instructions on their day. Or can he go out with both of them for a few hours to leave you in peace?

I have a 3 year gap and was a sahm and it is relentless but it does get better. Dh and I were a team, he had a lie in on a Saturday and I had one on a Sunday. He took them out sometimes just in the car to leave the house and me in the silence. It was bliss.

Two is definitely waaaaay harder than one, there's no doubt about that. Mine are 5 and 7 now and it's much easier, they're both currently eating lunch and watching TV quietly in the living room while I chill in the kitchen. And they both slept in their own beds until 7am this morning. That would have been unimaginable a year or two ago. It gets better 💐 I am still stuck in a shitty job though because it works around the kids...if I figure out a way out of it I'll let you know 😂

Swimming? With a four and a one year old?

That’s the equivalent of parenting torture, quite frankly!

OP, at what point do you get a break to be just you? I found that crucial at that stage to maintain any degree of enthusiasm for looking after my kids. It does get easier though

I didn’t want t my eldest to be an only child.

That is the ONLY reason I had a second. I did it for DC1, not because I wanted another.

Swimming is NOT cheap!
It costs a ridiculous amount, plus the pool is rarely open just for family swimming. It's all lessons and lanes, which is no good if you just want to take the kids swimming.

It is hard especially when they are young. My youngest is 4 and things have started to get easier. We are starting to get time to do things when at home etc.

It’s a massive slog. How wide is your ‘window of tolerance’, can you fit anything in to make it wider? Nervous system regulation etc.

What kind of parenting are you doing? It’s all hard, but changing approach can be life changing and can help you to enjoy your kids’ more.

You’re allowed not to like parenting every age group of kids, OP! We’re all better suited to some rather than others!

Pardon me I realise that was flippant sounding sorry op. Maybe it's just a feeling we all get is what I probably don't get it.

I have no kids due to a medical condition and it's boring as hell.

Parenting is very demanding.
Can you identify what exactly you find difficult, and address the bits you are struggling with? Get outside help, give yourself a break, manage stress better, get more sleep, lower expectations in some areas, get some counselling for support etc?

Hang in there. Your in a tough spot with not sleeping and two under 5. I call it the trenches. Relentless and exhausting. It's really does get better when they start school

Just because you envision something doesn't mean you have to do it.

Well yes an only child can be a bit needier when it comes to independent play, etc, however it's not just that. You also don't have a whole other child to get ready on a morning, feed and bath, regardless of age difference.

This ⬆️

Yes it's very draining, especially when you're juggling other things like work, house, etc.

It's honestly one of the main reasons I have an only child.

I don’t think life is easier with one child. I had two close together then a big gap before my 3rd. The 3rd has no siblings close in age so needs more from me, eg I have to play games, chat about toys, play with toys, etc, whereas if he had a sibling close in age, like my older two, I’d have more time for me.

Stick with it. The toddler years can be hard work, but after that you’ll find things are easier. I also think you’ll appreciate having two children for the reasons I’ve given above.

You deserve a day to yourself every so often. If that can be arranged, do so! You'll feel better for it and it will be something to look forward to. I would have loved that, probably spent the day in bed some days but so what.

Parenting young children is very draining for even the most enthusiastic parent, nothing to feel guilty about and nobody should judge you. Not everyone admits it. That's the beauty of an anonymous forum such as this, we can let it all out and nobody is going to gossip.

I know this will be said to you a lot but it will pass, honestly. Once you're back at work, even part-time, you'll feel better too but your youngest is still a baby.

See what you can do about having a day off - a full day - once a week. In the meantime do look after yourself, your general health is very important. Eat well, healthily, and take a little exercise other than running around after the children. Dance to a video or something like that, it does help.

Many of us have been where you are now and we have survived.

Good luck.

It is bloody hard work!! But I don’t know what I’d do without them either, yes I’d be well rested 😂 but I’d watch way too much tv! Seriously though it does get so much easier once they’re at school and some of my best memories now are from our trips out and holidays together. Hold on and get as much help as you can! I can’t believe anyone can enjoy parenting all the time.

I remember when mine were 2 and 4 and my younger sister commented that they were at 'lovely ages'. They were both lovely and very cute, and not particularly hard work, but it's very physical and relentless at that stage. I've always known I'm someone that prefers mental work to physical work - I'm not very practical for a start! From 10/11 up, it's hard work in an emotional and mental way, but not in a physical sense, and that suited me much better. Despite the emotional ups and downs of having teenagers, I much preferred that period - mine are 18 and 20 now and I'm also really really enjoying having adult children! So hang on in there.....

It's different for everyone. Admittedly we are still in the first stages of teen years here but I love this age at the moment!

1 and 4 is really hard OP. we all think it'll be different for us, and we don't realise the sheer drudgery!

Completely get your point. I had 6 months living with a small child and her father in my early twenties. That was more than enough for me. Happy to leave it to those who really want to do it, and stick to cats