I realised too late I don’t like parenting

Excellent advice - in addition when old enough, leaving them at someone else’s house for a bit (aka play dates) is a lifesaver - me and a close group of mum friends would rotate on hosting to save each other’s sanity! I would have really struggled with overwhelm and loneliness without them ❤️

Are you putting too much pressure on yourself by trying to do everything? Trying to keep on top of housework, paid work and childcare can be exhausting, another aspect is for many women it is very boring. A lack of sleep and adult company often adds to feelings of isolation and depression.
Personally I found only doing the absolute necessary chores and meeting up with other adults for a quick cuppa helped. I also think that playing with your children (not entertaining them) can help with stress.

Not at all. Lots of childfree people read AIBU - just as I did - and I thread started by someone saying they hate parenting will be of interest to them.
You've established you don't like my post. I've explained my reasons why I posted. Probably best to leave it now.

The fact is people will never know until
they have their own Children. I agree there are parents who could only dream of other parents experiences raising their children. This doesn't mean those less fortunate would change anything once they have their child. It's understandable they would wish their child to be healthy & NT without the stress involved in day to day life but it's all part of life's challenges. I don't believe other people's experiences should have any influence on the decision to have children or not.

Oh do stop it. Should that be the answer to every thread? At least you have a mum / dad / sibling / partner / house? You currently have one child and a husband. "I get children can be tiring but all experiences pass"... Sure, but 18 odd years is a long time to wait if you have more than one, are on your own and they are not "easy" NT kids. I hope you are successful in your hopes for more children and that life continues well for you but do try and remember that your experience is not everyones..maybe your nieces / nephews were really challenging in some particular ways.

I said it earlier on this thread.

How come we can't comment in the non parent forum but you can come on here reading how shit parenting is to make yourself feel smug?

And posting that on Mumsnet on a thread about raising existing children seemed like the right place for you? Doesn’t that seem like you are missing your intended childless audience?

@jumpingthruhoops This is a fair point. On reflection though you omitted to accept there is not one person here who has stated they don't love their children & they wouldn't have had them if they knew what it entailed.

I sometimes complained I hated my job then given the opportunity to change it I realised my thoughts were simply down to being exhausted & in need of a break. Until someone gives birth to a baby they will never understand how it feels to have something in your life you would gladly give your own life for. Having days when you say you hate parenting is as natural as saying there are days when you hate your job. You can throw your job away. The vast majority of parents wouldn't dream of throwing away their children,it would break their hearts.That alone speaks volumes.

No 'peculiar agenda', just a different opinion.
I do think some might find my post helpful for the simple fact that whenever people come on here, similar to the OP, saying they're struggling, the majority will respond with the usual 'it's always hard at the beginning, it does get easier/more fun', 'Can you do something to break the day up?' or 'could you have PND?' and such like when, in fact, none of the above is true at all and, actually, OP HAS realised too late that she genuinely hates parenting, as her thread title actually states.
I commented to highlight predominantly to others that it's perfectly OK to say you just know you will hate parenting and, thus, decide not to have kids. Despite how much society expects you to.

Parenting is a major job. But, do consider this. Your children are healthy.
Consider the parents who have children born with health issues.
They would love to be just tired and not worried to death.
Hang in - they grow.

Perhaps because it was a smug and self righteous comment only tangentially related to the original post which offered zero helpful or supportive input and appears designed to be provocative in this context. Why would anyone do that? What peculiar agenda would such a person have to have?

It's not, obviously. But hundreds of other people will be reading this thread. If my comment helps one of those, who may be on the fence about having kids, realise maybe that parenting isn't for them, that's a good thing surely!? That's why I posted.

My comment clearly bothered you enough to respond. Why is that?

Well good for you. How is any of that helpful to OP in her current struggles? It’s not like she could or would want to un-have her children - she’s just finding this stage really hard, as many parents do.

Always thought I would be a parent to 3-4 kids. A lot happened that made me realize God did me a favor to take that option away (cancer but caught early) I became a mom to a 7 year old severely autistic child (my niece) I was a caregiver from day one but not the main one and got all the fun but could give her back sotospeak, then right after my cancer diagnosis, my mom got one, was dragging said kid to bathroom to throw up during chemo, felt compelled to raise her because no one else would do it or she would go to the state etc. I am glad I stepped up, but I have a lot of health issues and I am so beyond grateful she is of age now. She still lives with me but I won't feel like I let everyone down now if I decide to put her in a home. We just take it day by day. Sometimes it is hard to see those little moments and there have been times I didn't know if I was going to survive each day. and that is just with one, albeit one who feels like 7 at times. With mental illness (manageable and treatable) half a dozen chronic illnesses, I don't get a lot of help but I have people I can call in an emergency and people who care. I advise finding your people to call when you can't take another second. It is easy to isolate, especially for me with a child who doesn't get out well. (she threw a tantrum at one restaurant and started breaking dishes. They were nice about it and we got her out fast but never been back with her.) but there are resources for me at least to have someone watch her for 2 hours once a week if I need a nap or need to go to the dr. Find ways to get away even if it is just 30 minutes locked in your bathroom (your dh can alternate so he gets his destress time) realize this too shall pass, and I don't know what your faith is but my relationship with God helped me immensely. Love and Blessings to you.

I think it is very important that we feel able to share, when we are struggling. The alternative is bottling up those feelings, and that never works out well, in my experience - it just makes things so much worse.

It is OK that other posters have different experiences of motherhood - but what I do NOT think is OK is posters who are subtly (or indeed very unsubtly) trying to pressure you to put up and shut up.

With my 3rd son I really struggled when he was a preschooler, I honestly thought he was adhd for a couple of years. He just could not sit still, and if I wasn't watching him at all times he would be destroying something or doing something dangerous. He was otherwise a good kid, but such hard work. However, once he was established at infant school things started getting much better, I worked with the teachers to get him sitting still and paying attention, and it absolutely paid off. The key is to keep at it, play together, have fun conversations, find ways to enjoy being together. Boundaries are really important, but so is self-esteem so keep up praise where it's due. Bonding at primary school age is so important, once they start the preteen phase you'll need it!

Im sure you're doing a great job, at you child's age it can be intense and progress seems slow. It's so hard when you're exhausted, it can be easy to become distant to your child when you're not enjoying it, so you do have to find little ways to take time out and recharge before getting ready to engage again.

Yes it's harder with 2.
Especially when they're small.
Do you have any help op?

I hear you OP mine are older now though (16 and 18)

Obviously I have always adored the 2 of them but fuck me parenting small children is relentless, tiring and thankless. Chucking a job into the mix was added juggling but I’d have gone absolutely insane as a SAHM

Sometimes I think back on those days and don’t know how I did it honestly and my kids were just regular kids no particular challenges (my youngest has ASD but never really manifested til he was a bit older).

teenagers do cause different worries when they have to be left to be able to do their own thing. The eldest out driving, clubbing etc is very anxiety inducing! But it’s not as relentless in the same way as with little
ones. I can now go out, away for the weekend etc and leave them behind! They are great fun and great company and fab people.

I see colleagues with little ones and never ever do I have a hankering to be back there again.

Women have never been taught to ask what we want for ourselves

You are amazing for being sooooo honest. If you have a partner, can he / she give you 1 day off a month (or more) to go out, even if on your own. A walk, a read, a coffee or lunch to collect your thoughts and breathe without a little one wanting you.
I found parenting hard. All the stress of juggling a job, school runs, shifts etc and longed for it to be just 'us' again. Came to love them so much as teenagers that I cried my eyes out when they went to uni. Keep going. It's only a wonderful mum who insight.

Nothing sad about it at all.
I posted merely to highlight that, some of us realise early on we'll hate parenting, so decide not to have children. And that, more importantly, it's OK to say so.
Maybe if more people spoke openly about this, others might feel more able to follow a different path to the one most of society expects them to.

I’d imagine a lot of us can relate.

Miost certainly it can feel like a real uphill struggle for a while. It is tough, relentless and often unrewarding. How old are your children?

It does get easier. The challenges change as they get older but it gets less ‘big’ x

Do you have a support network OP, friends or family that could just take the load for a day to let you catch up on some sleep, binge a box set or something else you enjoy? Parenting is tough! Especially with 2 little ones. Give yourself a break, I think we all have days like that. If you find that you're feeling like this all the time, you could maybe go and see your GP? You maybe need some support to start feeling like yourself again.

What did I say?

This thread has been posted in the childfree forum.

I knew it!!