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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask my partner to walk me to the bus stop?

367 replies

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 09:55

I'm heading into town
The bus stop is a minute walk around the corner but it's really icy outside and my shoes have no grip at all.
I fell over yesterday and got a bit of a shock.
I'm going to grab some better footwear in town.
I said to my partner do you mind walking me to the bus stop so I can hold on to you just incase I fall.
He kicked off saying who walks him back home?
So I get to the bus stop with no thought for him etc etc
Anyway I said it's okay il just walk around myself-if I fall I fall
Aibu to ask him?
He says it's his only day off

OP posts:
Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 11/01/2025 13:18

Who walks him back? Seriously he’s pathetic and lazy.

Rosesgrowonyou · 11/01/2025 13:18

This is MN though where some posters would go on a trek in the Arctic before breakfast.

MyBirthdayMonth · 11/01/2025 13:17

drgrat · 11/01/2025 12:20

Chivalry is dead.

I know a man that meets his girlfriend off the train at their stop every day and they walk home together. It’s very sweet. Some men are thoughtful, some aren’t.

These posts seem small and insignificant but it’s such a small gesture to show you care about someone and I hate how so many see it as silly.

He sounds like a control freak to me.

RampantIvy · 11/01/2025 13:16

Really? If I was trying to relax on my only day off I wouldn't want to needlessly go out in freezing weather

That's just you @FoxInTheForest
If I needed footwear with better grip for this kind of weather I would either go out and buy some on my day off, or even better, buy some shoe grips from Amazon (although Amazon drivers can't get up our road at the moment, so maybe going into town is a better option).

DD has joint issues and DH has been meeting her from the station after work to walk back with her.

beencaughttrollin · 11/01/2025 13:15

I don't think you were unreasonable to ask, under the circumstances. I'm not sure why your shoes have no grip and you don't have anything to put over them, but I don't see a point in whinging at you about it when you've said you plan to use this trip to pick up something suitable. Do his shoes also have no grip? Because that's the only way his comment about who will walk him home makes any sense, assuming you've explained the situation and he has the cognitive ability to understand it. There are a lot of variables here, but mainly it sounds like he's being arsey with you for asking for a small one-time favor, which is not a great attribute in a partner especially if you typically do him small favours on request. If he genuinely can't walk with you, why not just say "sorry; I can't"?

NovemberMorn · 11/01/2025 13:12

An independent woman can slip on her arse in the snow just as likely as a trembling, reliant woman can.
It's hardly spitting in the face of womens liberation to ask a partner for help.
Once she has bought her sturdy shoes, he won't be required to escort her to the bus stop again.

thirdfiddle · 11/01/2025 13:12

He doesn't sound much fun. And this so isn't a feminist issue. If DH had had a fall and was feeling a bit wobbly I'd be more than happy to lend him an arm too. Come to that, if I asked to be walked to the bus stop just for company he probably would if he wasn't busy.

SleeplikeababyTonight · 11/01/2025 13:09

Nerdlings · 11/01/2025 13:01

I can never understand why some posters post on a board to specifically ask if they are being unreasonable and then get really arsey when other posters tell them they are. What is even the point of starting the thread in the first place?

Validation.

sometimesmovingforwards · 11/01/2025 13:09

Are you disabled?

ItFellOffAgain · 11/01/2025 13:08

Rosesgrowonyou · 11/01/2025 13:06

No, but if you actually like your partner you don't act like an arsehole when they ask for help.

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🤣🤣

Mumofyellows · 11/01/2025 13:07

Pop some different shoes on and get on with it? I've navigated walking 2 Labradors on an ungritted country lane perfectly well in wellies this morning and it was pretty icy.

Rosesgrowonyou · 11/01/2025 13:06

ItFellOffAgain · 11/01/2025 13:03

Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to be totally interdependent.

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No, but if you actually like your partner you don't act like an arsehole when they ask for help.

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 11/01/2025 13:05

changecandles · 11/01/2025 12:37

Ffs. Another one 🙄

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Another person with a different opinion to you? Shocking.

Kath85 · 11/01/2025 13:05

Its been snowy all week and was forecast a few days before, why didn’t you order suitable shoes to be delivered then?!

ItFellOffAgain · 11/01/2025 13:03

BreakfastClubBlues · 11/01/2025 10:36

But she doesn't live alone?

Why be married if you're going to live your life as if you're alone?

Such weird responses on here.

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Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to be totally interdependent.

Nerdlings · 11/01/2025 13:01

I can never understand why some posters post on a board to specifically ask if they are being unreasonable and then get really arsey when other posters tell them they are. What is even the point of starting the thread in the first place?

ItFellOffAgain · 11/01/2025 13:01

changecandles · 11/01/2025 12:37

Ffs. Another one 🙄

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Ffs another one

UnstableEquilibrium · 11/01/2025 12:50

adviceneeded1990 · 11/01/2025 12:09

He is right - who walks him? Why are you inherently more vulnerable than he is by virtue of being female? Buy better shoes/plan your journeys around the weather warnings we have all had and take responsibility. I’d also explore why you have these pre-conceived notions of vulnerability. Unless you are heavily pregnant,
unwell, or in your 80s, in which case he’s being a dick.

She's trying to buy better shoes, that's rather the point.

Yes she should ideally have bought them in December when January was widely predicted to be imminent, but they are where they are.

NovemberMorn · 11/01/2025 12:50

If your shoes have no grip, and that's why you are going into town to buy some...and his shoes do have a decent grip, I don't think you are being unreasonable to ask him to help you to the bus stop...a minutes walk away.

Couples are supposed to be there for one another, presumably you help him when he needs it.

Ineke · 11/01/2025 12:48

My DH asks me to pick stuff off the floor if he drops something. I do but only because he is not as mobile as usual at the moment. Don’t mind if he asks nicely!

WoolySnail · 11/01/2025 12:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nothing, I would have the same opinion if it was a same sex couple.

Silverstar2 · 11/01/2025 12:47

Maybe just hold onto the wall as you walk?

fivebyfivebuffy · 11/01/2025 12:41

Ginmonkeyagain · 11/01/2025 10:27

How do you have trainers with no grip? Most trainers are running shoes, all decent ones have grip as they are built for people moving fast on a number of different surfaces.

I have trainers but they're fashion type ones, not running
My other ones are for weight lifting and don't have the best grip

I did buy a pair of walking trainers which are great but if I didn't have those there isn't a chance of me getting to the bus stop near me! It's going up a slope then down and our road doesn't get gritted at all. I haven't been out walking or in the car for 4 days as it's sheet ice

drinkstoomuchwine · 11/01/2025 12:39

Assume he makes you feel uncared for in other ways OP?
Its not a big thing to ask for if you were feeling anxious about slipping, whether that feels logical or not.

Choccyscofffy · 11/01/2025 12:39

Completelyjo · 11/01/2025 12:26

Presumably you can leave the house alone though so it’s hardly the same.

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The point is once she gets to town, she can buy shoes and get to her dad alone.