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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my partner to walk me to the bus stop?

367 replies

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 09:55

I'm heading into town
The bus stop is a minute walk around the corner but it's really icy outside and my shoes have no grip at all.
I fell over yesterday and got a bit of a shock.
I'm going to grab some better footwear in town.
I said to my partner do you mind walking me to the bus stop so I can hold on to you just incase I fall.
He kicked off saying who walks him back home?
So I get to the bus stop with no thought for him etc etc
Anyway I said it's okay il just walk around myself-if I fall I fall
Aibu to ask him?
He says it's his only day off

OP posts:
Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 17:25

@YellowDaffodilRedTulip yeah I brought him back a new shirt and a terrys chocolate orange little Easter egg -he was happy ha ha

OP posts:
YellowDaffodilRedTulip · 11/01/2025 17:23

My partner would roll his eyes but if I was serious and really wanted him to, he would do it. I’d probably buy him a beer/chocolate while I was in town to say thanks.
That’s what relationships should be like.

RampantIvy · 11/01/2025 17:09

Rosesgrowonyou · 11/01/2025 17:08

I'd never order shoes online. I like to try them on to see how they fit and if they are comfortable.

Neither would I.

It seems that mumsnetters either have standard shaped and sized feet or they put up with wearing uncomfortable footwear.

Rosesgrowonyou · 11/01/2025 17:08

I'd never order shoes online. I like to try them on to see how they fit and if they are comfortable.

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 17:04

*if I had not of gone

OP posts:
Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 17:03

@SoNotMyMonkeys I went out today because today is my only day off
My dad needed milk
If he hadn't of gone he would of went himself
If he had fallen I would of blamed myself
So yes ..I did need to go out

And my partner had decent shoes so would not have fallen ...and surprise surprise he didn't fall over
And that only took a whole minute of his day

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/01/2025 17:03

Get a grip

So wonderfully hilarious.

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 17:02

@adviceneeded1990 and a decent pair of shoes ...don't forget the shoes !

OP posts:
adviceneeded1990 · 11/01/2025 17:01

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 16:55

@adviceneeded1990 oh for goodness sake
1.i wanted to try the shoes on to make sure they fit
2.a taxi into town /dads would be over £20
And 3.why would I order a Uber eats for a bottle of milk
The min order is around £10

Rather than ask my partner to lend me his arm for a minute to the bus stop

Get a grip

😂😂

I might need a stronger more capable person to help me find the grip but I’ll try 😉

SoNotMyMonkeys · 11/01/2025 17:01

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 16:55

@adviceneeded1990 oh for goodness sake
1.i wanted to try the shoes on to make sure they fit
2.a taxi into town /dads would be over £20
And 3.why would I order a Uber eats for a bottle of milk
The min order is around £10

Rather than ask my partner to lend me his arm for a minute to the bus stop

Get a grip

Because if you fell, he would fall too. And there was no need to risk anyone falling. There was no compelling need to go
out today.

SoNotMyMonkeys · 11/01/2025 17:00

I don’t understand why you went out.

You could have bought shoes online. Your dad would have survived without milk. It’s not as if he had no food - and if he did, online shopping, surely? If he is too frail to buy his own milk and he lives in an area without deliveries, bigger conversation needed about moving.

If you had needed to go out for something essential (and not many things would be), I would be more sympathetic, but you decided to go out on an icy day in crap
shoes just for the sake of it. It was your partner’s only day off and you had nothing you needed to do in town - lazy snow day together, surely?

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 16:55

@adviceneeded1990 oh for goodness sake
1.i wanted to try the shoes on to make sure they fit
2.a taxi into town /dads would be over £20
And 3.why would I order a Uber eats for a bottle of milk
The min order is around £10

Rather than ask my partner to lend me his arm for a minute to the bus stop

Get a grip

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 11/01/2025 16:49

All a bit drama queen. 🙄

adviceneeded1990 · 11/01/2025 16:32

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 15:45

@adviceneeded1990 as I pointed out earlier ,if it was my sister or friend who lived nearby I would of asked them
It made no difference it was a man ,he had shoes that had a good grip

Rather than getting a taxi, ordering stuff to be delivered to your Dad, ordering shoes on next day delivery or any of the other available options? You’ve not answered anyone who’s asked why not use one of the available
options that doesn’t involve asking anyone for help?

Pinetreethree · 11/01/2025 16:03

You wanted to hold onto him in case you slipped... so you go down and pull him down with you?
I agree with most that YABU, absolutely pointless in him coming along for a literal minute's walk.

Choccyscofffy · 11/01/2025 15:54

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 15:47

Also my winter boots were great but we moved last year before Christmas and I couldn't tell you what happened to them
The weather here had been so mild before Christmas and I just assumed the footwear I had would be enough or that my decent boots were in one the boxes we hadn't unpacked
We haven't unpacked everything yet and they probably are somewhere amongst it all

Did you find some boots, OP?

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 15:47

Also my winter boots were great but we moved last year before Christmas and I couldn't tell you what happened to them
The weather here had been so mild before Christmas and I just assumed the footwear I had would be enough or that my decent boots were in one the boxes we hadn't unpacked
We haven't unpacked everything yet and they probably are somewhere amongst it all

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 11/01/2025 15:46

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 13:36

The ‘thank god chivalry is dead’ folks are always the first to blow a gasket when a man suggests they should split the bill on a date.

I doubt it.

eightIsNewNine · 11/01/2025 15:45

adviceneeded1990 · 11/01/2025 15:27

And if it’s everyone helping everyone then that’s lovely - presumably she would have also offered her father/brother/husband to “hang on” to her? If it’s a women believing she is inherently more vulnerable than her husband then that’s a concern. The OP failed to prepare herself for the weather and then asked a big strong man who can survive walking on the ice to protect her. 🙄 Lots of posters, myself included, find it a bit pointless and cringeworthy - if anything it just adds to the odds of two people falling down! Men get accused of weaponised incompetence on here for a lot less.

Show quote history

Wtf?

She lost her winter shoes when moving and she asked her partner who has good shoes because of his work needs to give her a hand for a few minutes.

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 15:45

@adviceneeded1990 as I pointed out earlier ,if it was my sister or friend who lived nearby I would of asked them
It made no difference it was a man ,he had shoes that had a good grip

OP posts:
eightIsNewNine · 11/01/2025 15:43

GreyCarpet · 11/01/2025 14:39

The OP doesn't have dypraxia though.

Show quote history

She doesn't have dispraxia, but she has dispractical shoes and asked for his support to get safely to the bus stop so she could fix it and buy different pair.

lazyarse123 · 11/01/2025 15:30

adviceneeded1990 · 11/01/2025 15:27

And if it’s everyone helping everyone then that’s lovely - presumably she would have also offered her father/brother/husband to “hang on” to her? If it’s a women believing she is inherently more vulnerable than her husband then that’s a concern. The OP failed to prepare herself for the weather and then asked a big strong man who can survive walking on the ice to protect her. 🙄 Lots of posters, myself included, find it a bit pointless and cringeworthy - if anything it just adds to the odds of two people falling down! Men get accused of weaponised incompetence on here for a lot less.

Show quote history

But she didn't ask him because he's a man she asked because he had proper shoes on.
Op maybe didn't have the money until now to prepare for the weather.

adviceneeded1990 · 11/01/2025 15:27

lazyarse123 · 11/01/2025 15:22

Feminism has nothing to do with it.
Our dd has just been, she needed help with something and it's not bad near us but the path to get to the cars is lethal. I mentioned we were nearly out of bread so she took me to the shop but made sure that I hung on to her on the walk to and from her car.
We did such a good job of raising our kids. We help them and they help us. How it should be.

And if it’s everyone helping everyone then that’s lovely - presumably she would have also offered her father/brother/husband to “hang on” to her? If it’s a women believing she is inherently more vulnerable than her husband then that’s a concern. The OP failed to prepare herself for the weather and then asked a big strong man who can survive walking on the ice to protect her. 🙄 Lots of posters, myself included, find it a bit pointless and cringeworthy - if anything it just adds to the odds of two people falling down! Men get accused of weaponised incompetence on here for a lot less.

lazyarse123 · 11/01/2025 15:22

Feminism has nothing to do with it.
Our dd has just been, she needed help with something and it's not bad near us but the path to get to the cars is lethal. I mentioned we were nearly out of bread so she took me to the shop but made sure that I hung on to her on the walk to and from her car.
We did such a good job of raising our kids. We help them and they help us. How it should be.

MJDecember24 · 11/01/2025 15:08

I asked my partner if he would do this for me as we were walking the dogs earlier and he said ‘yeah of course, although I’d likely just drag you over with me’, then promptly fell on his arse.

I have good shoes so I was fine. Moral of the story, have decent shoes.