Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my partner to walk me to the bus stop?

367 replies

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 09:55

I'm heading into town
The bus stop is a minute walk around the corner but it's really icy outside and my shoes have no grip at all.
I fell over yesterday and got a bit of a shock.
I'm going to grab some better footwear in town.
I said to my partner do you mind walking me to the bus stop so I can hold on to you just incase I fall.
He kicked off saying who walks him back home?
So I get to the bus stop with no thought for him etc etc
Anyway I said it's okay il just walk around myself-if I fall I fall
Aibu to ask him?
He says it's his only day off

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 11/01/2025 10:24

You don't need a human walking stick to go out in icy weather, you just need to learn how to walk carefully on slippy surfaces - oh and get some better shoes. Outdoor shoes with no grip are rubbish in all sorts of situations, not just ice.

StormingNorman · 11/01/2025 10:24

So did you answer who would walk him back home? Or is it ok if he falls…given it’s nothing to do with being a feeble little woman?

I find this attitude so bloody undermining for women. We can’t expect equality in the world when we also want to be treated like a dainty little doll.

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 10:24

Literally I fell yesterday and got a shock
That's the only reason I asked him

OP posts:
AelinAG · 11/01/2025 10:24

Why on earth have you only got one pair of shoes??

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 10:23

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/01/2025 10:20

The 2 scenarios are entirely different though. One is requiring a trained expert in a matter of life and death and the other is being pathetic.

Show quote history

Well we’ll see how pathetic it is when the OP falls over and breaks her leg because the people of Mumsnet decided that asking anybody for help is setting back feminism 1000 years.

Go on now OP, out you go. And if you fall over make sure it’s a woman that helps you back to your feet otherwise we’ll be living in the handmaids tale before 2026.

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 10:23

I don't need a man to walk me to the bus stop
I walk to the bus stop every day by myself ...believe it or not I can even cross a road by myself.
I slipped yesterday and got a shock ...it's that simple
I didn't want to fall again
I asked him to walk me to the bus stop just incase I slipped again

OP posts:
Mielbee · 11/01/2025 10:22

I find these responses a bit sad. My DH would definitely do this for me if I asked. Why can we not just help each other out a bit even if it's not absolutely necessary?

BreakfastClubBlues · 11/01/2025 10:22

Mine would definitely walk with me if I asked him. I ask him to walk places with me all the time- shop, dog walk... whatever. Sometimes he asks me to go on pointless journeys with him too.

We have preteens, so it's still quite a novelty to go out without the kids. We also enjoy each other's company, so why not?

Why be with someone who doesn't even like you enough to walk with you 5 minutes up the road??

BlueMum16 · 11/01/2025 10:22

eightsaie · 11/01/2025 10:16

Oh come on
I only asked him to walk me to the bus stop
My normal winter wellies I lost when we moved that's why I've only got these other shoes.
Todays my only day off when I can go into town to grab some new ones
This is nothing about women need men blah blah
If it was a woman I would ask the same
If it was my sister I would ask her

So you literally only have one pair of shoes? No trainers? No boots?
Order something online for delivery and don't go out?
Get a taxi?

Cynic17 · 11/01/2025 10:21

Just go by yourself - you'll be fine, OP. You are doing nothing for the cause of women by saying you need a man to walk you to the bus stop!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/01/2025 10:20

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 10:17

So I imagine the next time you are in a raging inferno and a fireman comes to your rescue you will respond “no thank you mate, I will get out of this myself, wouldn’t want to disappoint the suffragettes by possibly accepting helping from a man”

Show quote history

The 2 scenarios are entirely different though. One is requiring a trained expert in a matter of life and death and the other is being pathetic.

yorktown · 11/01/2025 10:20

DH would offer in this case, if I had fallen yesterday, I might take him up on the offer.
It's a difficult life if people are reluctant to ask for help or give help when asked.

Lavender14 · 11/01/2025 10:20

I think if you're older, vulnerable, pregnant or have some form of disability then it's fair enough and he's being unreasonable. If not then you are being unreasonable and I don't see any benefit to him being there with you.

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 10:19

Don’t ask anything of a man. Always do things yourself to prove that women can do anything.

Why do men never do anything for us?

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 10:19

I'm only going out because I need some shoes and need to nip to my dads with some milk etc

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 11/01/2025 10:19

Are there any walls or railings you can hold on to on your way to the bus stop?

WeeWigglet · 11/01/2025 10:19

If I was in bed warm & toasty on my one day off & someone asked me to get up & dressed to escort them 1 min to the bus stop to go into town to buy shoes when it could be achieved by Amazon delivery or wait til later, or a less icy day I'd be annoyed & say no too.

This may not be the circumstances, but if it is is, I get why he's said no.

Also being a feminist doesn't stop you falling over in crap shoes. It's nothing to do with anything here.

Tisthedamnseason · 11/01/2025 10:18

I think you're a bit silly to ask. And I'd be a bit annoyed if I had to go out in the cold because my other half decided they wanted to, despite not having suitable footwear to do so.

But also he doesn't sound that nice.

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 10:17

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/01/2025 10:02

Are you for real?! Surely this is a joke? You’ve just set feminism back about 3000 years.

So I imagine the next time you are in a raging inferno and a fireman comes to your rescue you will respond “no thank you mate, I will get out of this myself, wouldn’t want to disappoint the suffragettes by possibly accepting helping from a man”

biscuitsandbooks · 11/01/2025 10:17

I kind of see both sides.

You're an adult - you should be capable of just putting some socks over your shoes (or waiting until the weather is better).

But equally it's not a big request. My DH wouldn't even have to wait to be asked.

GreyCarpet · 11/01/2025 10:17

Some people really do live in a different world.

I'm pretty sure my partner would do this if I asked because nothing is too much trouble for him.

I also can't imagine ever asking this of him! It wouldn't even occur to me as an option.

Optimist2020 · 11/01/2025 10:16

This is so funny @eightsaie . Who will help your bf if he falls on the way back ? X

Original poster
eightsaie · 11/01/2025 10:16

Oh come on
I only asked him to walk me to the bus stop
My normal winter wellies I lost when we moved that's why I've only got these other shoes.
Todays my only day off when I can go into town to grab some new ones
This is nothing about women need men blah blah
If it was a woman I would ask the same
If it was my sister I would ask her

OP posts:
SunnieShine · 11/01/2025 10:16

It doesn't feel like a big ask to me. Your partner should have helped you.

I bet you do plenty for him.

Bumcake · 11/01/2025 10:14

Mean of him, weird of you.