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Original poster

To ask for some of your best dating advice?

110 replies

Whereislove25 · 10/01/2025 23:01

I am currently working on my self esteem and self value before I put myself out there on the dating apps once again - as I know you need thick skin in this game.

This time I actually really want to meet a nice, kind, caring man. In the past I’ve made so many mistakes in dating - getting too drunk, sleeping with them on the first date, texting too much etc. This has just led to many regrets the next day and emotional pain.

So I am asking you all how can I be more successful with online dating this year?

OP posts:
Victoriawould24 · 11/01/2025 00:02

Someone that might align with your values and appears emotionally intelligent and empathetic (great dad, loves his rescue dog, cares about poverty and injustice and women’s rights etc) may not actually be a nice person and could have learnt all the right ways to hook you (and a million others) in.
Keep you wits about you and always always listen to your gut.
Don’t invest any hope or time in anyone until you have met them face to face.
Dont adjust your goal posts or needs to try and bend for someone else, convincing yourself it’s what you wanted all along, you have choices always and matter more than they do.

Saphire123 · 10/01/2025 23:58

Stay sober, wait for sex, when you do, make sure he wears a condom.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 10/01/2025 23:54

For a first date, meet in a public place, don't give him your address to pick you up, tell a friend where you are going.

If the person is rude or obnoxious or you aren't enjoying yourself, you can leave. You don't need to be polite, you don't need to stay until the end, you don't need to agree to another date, you don't need to make up a fake excuse to leave. Just say " I'm going to call it a night. Enjoy the rest of your evening. Take care." and go.

notmyrealname101 · 10/01/2025 23:48

Google "burnt haystack method". You can follow the founder on Instagram @wordcasescenario. Good Luck op!

Foreverchangeable · 10/01/2025 23:25

I'm quite old now and not into dating, but I'd say.. No sex at first- pp have said date 3, I'd say date 7 (obviously if you just want a fling then go for it whenever).
(Btw, meet sooner rather than later if you actually want a relationship.)
See each other often - at least twice a week, probably more ( unless some real reason why not).
If he goes cold for more than a day or two or so, bin him and move on.
As I've said, I am not into the scene now though so maybe this advice isn't good!

YourCrispyBalonz · 10/01/2025 23:10

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username299 · 10/01/2025 23:09

Have a clear idea of what you want and don't deviate from it.

For example if you are looking for a long term relationship, leading to marriage and children, then make it clear at the beginning.

Know what red flags to look out for:

Addiction
Crazy ex
Sexist
Disrespectful
Name calling
Flaky
Hot and cold
Sexually incompatible
Etc

Take it slowly and watch out for love bombing.

Original poster
Whereislove25 · 10/01/2025 23:08

@YourCrispyBalonz what are your thoughts on messaging before and between dates?

OP posts:
YourCrispyBalonz · 10/01/2025 23:07

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mumofoneAlonebutokay · 10/01/2025 23:05

Following as I also need advice for when I get back in the dating game

I've decided I want to date like the sex and the City girls x

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