Would you expect your spouse to share their wealth with you

Luckily for me I come from a tradiotional community where long term.girlfriends are frowned upon.
I used to hate that, but increasingly I love it.

If MN is anything to go by, it seems most men don't want children anyway, given how so many are willing to just abandon them and not support them. It seems many just go along with children for the woman.

I get the impression many/most men would be perfectly happy having someone 'keeping things in order' for them, the sex that usually comes with a relationship... and that's it. All the rest it seems many would be perfectly fine without. No dating, ring, 'event days' (Valentines Day, anniversaries, etc), marriage, in-laws, kids, financial responsibilities..., basically a long-term girlfriend. I really think there'd be a significant number of men who would choose casual relationships (if sex was more readily available, rather than being a 'perk' of a relationship), than actual relationships, as these invariably come with the aforementioned 'consequences' for them.

The house we lived in and ongoing income, yes.

Things he owned outright pre marriage: no.

Nor inheritance from his family.

And I would feel the same if I was wealthier.

But in the case of divorce I would fight to get enough to house and raise the children without hardship, so probably a greater share of the marital home, as he would have his own nest eggs to fall back on.

And I would fight for a share of his pension built during the marriage if my own pension and savings had taken a knock due to family responsibilities.

I guess if you are planning a family together yes I would expect them to to protect our children

Older and no children together no and would not be having joint accounts/their name added to my mortgage etc or be supporting them in a better lifestyle I want someone who is at least equal

Years ago my Physics teacher used to say that the motto of wives is What's yours is mine and what's mine's my own! It was a forerunner of the MN approach!

My ex husband was really stingy with his money during marriage but he had to give it to me when we divorced, so. Don't marry if you're not into splitting assets. It's coming for you eventually.

And btw court is always involved even for quickie divorces. If they don’t like what you’ve agreed out of court, they can change it

I was in the High court with the first one. Cost me a fortune I didn’t have and I would not recommend it ..5 figure sum in costs. His was free, because he put everything in a n others name an claimed poverty

Sounds like neither of you went to court though.

Oh and I didn’t get any from the frst who wasn’t particularly wealthy but what he had, I had built from nothing with him. And there were children. Nothing for them, either

Doesn’t have to. I never got a penny from mine because there were no children. I didn’t ask and he didn’t offer . So it depends who you marry and divorce

"I, take you, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part

So yes I would expect money and assets to be shared/owned jointly, because thats marriage you become a couple, a partnership and everything is shared.

If you are really worried then you can do a prenup, but to me it kinda states just before marriage , I dont really trust you and want to protect myself, this may not be a lifetime commitment....possibly sensible but then not really the point of marriage

I wouldn’t get married. Sharing whilst married, absolutely. Losing half in a divorce ( when nearly half of marriages do end in divorce), no. So don’t marry.

Yes and he did

Yes I would. I've just had an inheritance - didn't occur to me not to share it with dh. He earns more than me as I sacrificed full time work to raise our children. Everything shared

They don't mean much in the uk

@JollyQuail so don't get married, or find someone with equal wealth, if you don't want to share with the person you are supposed to love and want to marry.

Yes of course.
My partner works very hard for his wages but we split it so it's equal.
There should be no "my money his money" in a marriage. It's both your money.

I wouldn't get married again because the answer would be no and I wouldn't want to live with someone either.
I've been a single parent for years and built up what I have, to make a safe stable home for my children. I have also worked really hard at my career. I mainly find lots of single men my age don't have their shit together, giving away wealth that I have had to work for feels unfair.

Your post implies that it’s the other way around - that he is the wealthy one. That’s why your comment about it making you feel uneasy doesn’t make sense.

I am not married, but after an 18 year relationship my ‘solid reliable trustworthy’ partner had his head turned and up and left within 6 weeks. He guilt tripped me into not creating a deed of trust on our property ( I was considerably wealthier and put 40% deposit) and now wants 50%. The law is not on my side due to my error of judgement. Protect yourself, you never know what might happen further down the line - I wish I had 😕

Yes
That's the only answer needed

Either he believes in his vows and believes marriage will last and loves you and sees you as partners
Or he doesn't in which case I wouldn't marry him

You could also say having children is a lose lose situation for women . ( historically and now, the ones who do most of the work).
No way would I have children with a man who didn't share.

This is a lose-lose for the higher earner (historically, usually the man!)

Either the higher earner insists on a pre-nup, which sours the relationship, "don't you trust me, don't you have faith in our relationship?"

Or you combine everything, divorce five minutes later and they lose half. Not a bad deal for playing happy families for a few years...

We do similar. It works for us, perhaps partly because we both earn around the same and have around the same leisure time

I'd feel differently if I was working part time and doing all the chores. Then it would feel like a double whammy - (1) having less money in my bank account due to working part time AND (2) doing all the chores due to having more time at home