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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want the bedside lamp on!

112 replies

Trufflebutter24 · 10/01/2025 21:23

I sometimes want to get into bed and read but my husband often gets quite annoyed by the bedside lamp light being on, he says I’m inconsiderate asking for it to be kept on. Am I blind to my inconsideration?

OP posts:
WolfFoxHare · 10/01/2025 21:45

HappyPanda613 · 10/01/2025 21:37

If He doesn’t like it he can sleep downstairs. Keep it on and read for as long as you want, it’s unfair to tell you that you can’t have it on.

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Oooooor she could go downstairs and read, while he goes to bed in the bedroom. You know, the room meant for sleeping in?

Footle · 10/01/2025 21:44

I'd sleep much better with a small light on.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/01/2025 21:44

A Kindle will be your friend.

lightsandtunnels · 10/01/2025 21:44

Same, I cannot sleep with DH bedside light on. We both read in bed and he usually he turns out his light before me but I continue to read my Kindle after turning my bedside light off too. He sometimes continues to read his Kindle and the glow from that doesn't bother me.

tapdancingmum · 10/01/2025 21:43

We both have bedside lights and mine is lit until I go to sleep which is later than DH goes to sleep. He doesn't moan unless it's really late and I remind him I don't moan when he puts his on at stupid o'clock to get dressed and wakes me up. I just turn over and go back to sleep.

I would say as long as it's not the big light he needs to turn over and sleep through it.

I don't want to be sat downstairs reading - I want to be snuggled in bed with my cuppa and my book.

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/01/2025 21:42

JoelyJoe · 10/01/2025 21:39

I think the PP was joking... 🤔

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It’s Mumsnet you never know 🤣

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/01/2025 21:42

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 10/01/2025 21:39

I do it because marriage is about compromise. If he tries a sleep mask and hates it then fair enough, but at least try it. I need a window open for fresh air to sleep without getting a headache so the sleep mask works for summer mornings when daylight is pouring in at 5am too. Honestly, sleep masks are a game changer!

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I couldn’t sleep in one. I can barely wear necklace in bed without feeling strangled.

It’s just another thing someone else has to do where there is a perfectly good reading/watching space to me. The person reading/watching is choosing to do so in that room. The bed is in that room because it’s a bedroom.

Just like if dh falls asleep on the sofa I’d be like go to bed you’re tired. I wouldn’t go to bed to then watch tv so he can sleep on the sofa in the awake space of the house.

Crazybaby123 · 10/01/2025 21:42

Surely just read in the living room until you want to go to bed. You can take a blanket and be in pjs.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 10/01/2025 21:40

in a bedroom sleeping always trumps reading.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 10/01/2025 21:39

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/01/2025 21:36

Why should the person wanting to sleep In The bedroom wear a face mask so the person wanting to be awake can read in the bedroom?

If you want to be awake reading or watching tv do it in a room where people are not trying to sleep.

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I do it because marriage is about compromise. If he tries a sleep mask and hates it then fair enough, but at least try it. I need a window open for fresh air to sleep without getting a headache so the sleep mask works for summer mornings when daylight is pouring in at 5am too. Honestly, sleep masks are a game changer!

JoelyJoe · 10/01/2025 21:39

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/01/2025 21:38

Why can’t she read downstairs while he sleeps in the bed. You know the place for sleeping.

bonkers.

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I think the PP was joking... 🤔

TammyJones · 10/01/2025 21:38

Trufflebutter24 · 10/01/2025 21:30

Off to buy a clip on light I go!

That would still keep me awake.
My husband is fast asleep with a 100 watt bulb on.
Maybe have a rule - lights out by 10 or something.

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/01/2025 21:38

HappyPanda613 · 10/01/2025 21:37

If He doesn’t like it he can sleep downstairs. Keep it on and read for as long as you want, it’s unfair to tell you that you can’t have it on.

Show quote history

Why can’t she read downstairs while he sleeps in the bed. You know the place for sleeping.

bonkers.

50Balesofgrey · 10/01/2025 21:38

Separate rooms aren't the end of the world

BellissimoGecko · 10/01/2025 21:37

Buy a Kindle with a backlight.

HappyPanda613 · 10/01/2025 21:37

Trufflebutter24 · 10/01/2025 21:23

I sometimes want to get into bed and read but my husband often gets quite annoyed by the bedside lamp light being on, he says I’m inconsiderate asking for it to be kept on. Am I blind to my inconsideration?

If He doesn’t like it he can sleep downstairs. Keep it on and read for as long as you want, it’s unfair to tell you that you can’t have it on.

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/01/2025 21:36

ClydeBank · 10/01/2025 21:33

I really recommend this sleep mask for your husband if he is light sensitive - it’s super comfy:

www.amazon.co.uk/ZIMASILK-Natural-Blindfold-Adjustable-Super-Smooth/dp/B0761QNQYW?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1

Why should the person wanting to sleep In The bedroom wear a face mask so the person wanting to be awake can read in the bedroom?

If you want to be awake reading or watching tv do it in a room where people are not trying to sleep.

JoelyJoe · 10/01/2025 21:36

Get a Kindle with a backlight.. it's a game changer. Mine is also waterproof, so I can read in the bath too!!

ClydeBank · 10/01/2025 21:33

I really recommend this sleep mask for your husband if he is light sensitive - it’s super comfy:

www.amazon.co.uk/ZIMASILK-Natural-Blindfold-Adjustable-Super-Smooth/dp/B0761QNQYW?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1

minipie · 10/01/2025 21:32

Clip on light would stop me sleeping too sorry. But your DH may be ok with it.

Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 10/01/2025 21:30

Off to buy a clip on light I go!

OP posts:
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 10/01/2025 21:30

Yeah, YAB Very U.

I can't sleep with a light on. You need to either get a small, clip on reading light or use a tablet/kindle.

It's unreasonable to expect your husband to try to sleep with a light on, as I bet when you're ready to sleep you switch the light off! So it's okay for you to fall asleep in the dark but not him.

Nitgel · 10/01/2025 21:30

I have a nice subtle golden bulb that doesn't disturb the other sleeper. Gives a lovely warm cosy glow but.enough to read to.

Tink3rbell30 · 10/01/2025 21:30

No thanks. Read in the living room then come to bed to sleep.

totk · 10/01/2025 21:29

You could get a Kindle so you don't have to use the lamp .

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