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Original poster

To want the bedside lamp on!

112 replies

Trufflebutter24 · 10/01/2025 21:23

I sometimes want to get into bed and read but my husband often gets quite annoyed by the bedside lamp light being on, he says I’m inconsiderate asking for it to be kept on. Am I blind to my inconsideration?

OP posts:
HereForTheAnimals · 10/01/2025 23:41

Caswallonthefox · 10/01/2025 23:36

I can't sleep with a light on, I also can't sleep with a face mask. Thank feck it's just me and my cat and I have feather pillows which are awesome for blocking light and muffling cat snores, if it happens.

Don't the quills stick in your face when they protrude from the pillow?

I had one as a child and was forever getting told off because I would pull the spiky feathers out 🤣

Doitrightnow · 10/01/2025 23:40

I can't sleep with any light in the room, which includes the glow of my DH's phone or a kindle. He has a neck-light thingy which he occasionally uses if he knows I'm already asleep, but it's high risk because if I wake up I really struggle to get back to sleep again.

If I'm feeling generous he'll read in bed and I'll try to sleep with a face mask on, but it's not very comfy. I'm afraid I do mostly insist that he reads downstairs.

Grammarnut · 10/01/2025 23:40

fridaynight1 · 10/01/2025 23:37

Confused here. I must have thick eyelids.
How is everyone knowing the lights are on if their eyes are shut?
Surely you can’t see?

Edited

My ex did this. You can tell and it's disruptive if you are trying to sleep. Really inconsiderate behaviour - hence ex (not only reason obv, but symptomatic).

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/01/2025 23:39

HappyPanda613 · 10/01/2025 21:37

If He doesn’t like it he can sleep downstairs. Keep it on and read for as long as you want, it’s unfair to tell you that you can’t have it on.

Show quote history

Is this meant ironically?

The bedroom is the room for sleeping.

healthybychristmas · 10/01/2025 23:39

I would get a Kindle. If you get an Amazon fire you can borrow books from your library. I use an app called BorrowBox to do that. If you get a paperwhite there is no light at all on the screen but you do have to pay for your books.

Grammarnut · 10/01/2025 23:38

HappyPanda613 · 10/01/2025 21:37

If He doesn’t like it he can sleep downstairs. Keep it on and read for as long as you want, it’s unfair to tell you that you can’t have it on.

Show quote history

Why should OP's DH decamp from the bedroom rather than her? It's her who wants to read. He wants to sleep - one of the main purposes of a bedroom and a bed.

fridaynight1 · 10/01/2025 23:37

Confused here. I must have thick eyelids.
How is everyone knowing the lights are on if their eyes are shut?
Surely you can’t see?

Caswallonthefox · 10/01/2025 23:36

I can't sleep with a light on, I also can't sleep with a face mask. Thank feck it's just me and my cat and I have feather pillows which are awesome for blocking light and muffling cat snores, if it happens.

Grammarnut · 10/01/2025 23:34

My ex insisted on leaving the bedroom light on and reading late into the night. He had insomnia, in the sense he could not wind down - IMHO reading does not help that, but he insisted on reading and called me inconsiderate for wanting to turn the light off (I find it difficult to sleep with the light on). It got to the point that if I went to bed earlier and put the light out (when I was on my own) he got very annoyed and said that I was forcing him not to put the light on and that this was inconsiderate and controlling. Unsurprisingly, we later divorced. YABU - read downstairs if you want to read, or get a kindle so that the light doesn't need to be on.

SwanRivers · 10/01/2025 23:31

HappyPanda613 · 10/01/2025 21:37

If He doesn’t like it he can sleep downstairs. Keep it on and read for as long as you want, it’s unfair to tell you that you can’t have it on.

Show quote history

Eh?

Why should he sleep downstairs when he's using the bedroom for its actual purpose?

Surely the person not wanting to go to sleep should be the one to go downstairs until they do?

SwanRivers · 10/01/2025 23:28

KnickerlessParsons · 10/01/2025 22:56

Doesn't everyone read in bed before they put the light out?

I thought that was the law common practise. .

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No, I'm asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Unless some twat puts the lamp on 🤣

TeenLifeMum · 10/01/2025 23:28

I can’t even deal with the red standby light on the tv when I sleep. Isn’t this what kindles are for though? The paper white ones are back lit aren’t they?

toomuchcheesetoomuchchocolate · 10/01/2025 23:23

I read on a Kindle for this reason as the backlight gives me enough light to read in bed without disturbing DH. I do then have a neck light for when I'm reading paper books

RampantIvy · 10/01/2025 23:07

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That's me then Grin

Nightmarewithdelirium · 10/01/2025 23:04

Completely depends on the time.
Are you having it on when he only has 8 hours or less of sleep time remaining?in that case you would be being unreasonable as it may keep him awake.
If he's got like a 9 hour stretch to sleep in then having the lamp on for 30 mins to read before lying down, is fine.

poemsandwine · 10/01/2025 23:03

This is another reason I always preferred separate bedrooms.

YourCrispyBalonz · 10/01/2025 23:00

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Wonderi · 10/01/2025 22:59

KnickerlessParsons · 10/01/2025 22:56

Doesn't everyone read in bed before they put the light out?

I thought that was the law common practise. .

Show quote history

If they share a bed with someone then they need to go up to bed early if they want to read.

If their partner comes in wanting to sleep then the lights get put out and they can either go to sleep themselves or leave the bedroom.

Oldbutstillachild · 10/01/2025 22:57

I love to read in bed, but I go up before my husband for this reason. I don't think it's fair to have a light on when someone else is trying to sleep. If he even uses his phone in bed it keeps me awake! Could you just go up earlier, like I do?

KnickerlessParsons · 10/01/2025 22:56

SwanRivers · 10/01/2025 21:25

I can't sleep with the light on.

If my husband wanted to read, I'd remind him it's a bedroom, not a library 😁

Doesn't everyone read in bed before they put the light out?

I thought that was the law common practise. .

RampantIvy · 10/01/2025 22:54

This is why I use a kindle. I do most of my reading in bed.

Eyresandgraces · 10/01/2025 22:53

I think a 30 minute window for reading would be fair.
We all spent time instilling reading habits into our dc, especially at bedtime.
Why shouldn’t someone wind down with a book?

YourCrispyBalonz · 10/01/2025 22:52

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ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 10/01/2025 22:49

Hasn't it been proven in studies that light interferes with the production of the sleep hormone melatonin? Many people can't sleep well with lights on, me included. Getting ready to sleep in the dark helps with melatonin production, and therefore affects sleep quality too.

Hankunamatata · 10/01/2025 22:46

I brought kobo ereader for this very reason and you can borrow library books on it

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