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Original poster

To think that the golden child is just the one that's not a pain in the bum?

129 replies

crinklegiraffe · 10/01/2025 17:12

I have a sister one year younger than me and she refers to herself as the black sheep and me the golden child.
In reality she was a defiant little brat growing up who did nothing she was told and was always in trouble I think the polite word was spirited and I wasn't like that.
I got fed up with always having to tidy our room because she refused and tidying up after myself while she refused point blank to do anything.

I wasn't overly good, I just wasn't deliberately rude and disrespectful and as a result have a close relationship with my parents while my sister who has a chip on her shoulder has cut me and our parents off believing they were toxic and I was their favourite.
I think I was probably just easier rather than favourite where she was hard work but equally loved.

OP posts:
mnaab · 10/01/2025 17:37

Nope. My sibling is the golden child and they are the pain in the bum. Whilst I live independently they constantly want money from dm and treat her like shit at the same time. Yet they can do no wrong in her eyes

Ginkypig · 10/01/2025 17:32

I think this can be one scenario and have seen that dynamic happen before but there are others.

I know of one golden child who is that despite being who you describe as the black sheep in your situation.

i know another who is classed as the black sheep because they chose not to cover their abuse up while the other sibling whitewashed history and kept their (surface) good and close relationship with their parents into adulthood.

I know another person who the parents babied because were the youngest and now as an adult behaves terribly towards their parents (and in general to be honest) but they are still the favourite (even when the mother is in literal tears of hurt at how this child has spoken to or treated her) despite several other siblings who no matter what they do can’t even get close to nice never mind that type of attention or affection from said parents.

i think it’s more grey than one is good and one is bad. There are lots of reasons why families consciously and unconsciously pick one child as their favourite over another and sometimes the one who is not picked has done everything right but just aren’t ever going to be the favourite or even in some families a liked child.

thats not to say though that your example is wrong either of course!

tailinthejam · 10/01/2025 17:15

She can refer to you as a golden child all she likes, but it doesn't make you one.

Parents are what make the golden child / scapegoat child dynamic, not the behaviour of the child.

Feelinadequate23 · 10/01/2025 17:15

YES! DH is the "golden child" while his brother is the black sheep. Yeah, no sh1t - my DH actually cares about his parents, calls them weekly, helps them out where he can, involves them in DC's lives and I do the same. Meanwhile BIL is rude, lazy, married a true monster, causes PIL nothing but difficulty and pain and only really contacts them to ask for money. I wonder why PIL might prefer DH... 🤔

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