Calm me down

I find myself infuriated on your behalf OP. When my child was small, I told my DH that I'd had the little one all day, and so he would be taking over while I had a bath, with a glass of wine and read my book. Because he was a DECENT father, he agreed, and it became part of our NIGHTLY routine. Your DH needs to learn how to entertain that child that you are JOINTLY responsible for, so please OP, do as we suggested and take your little one to the end of the football game, and leave him with his father, while you go off and do your own thing.

Glad to hear you've ordered a bolt for the bathroom door!

Great minds think alike! I was literally about to type the same thing!

Do you both have a car each, if you don't is the training close to you? I'd go to watch the end of the training and then when it finishes hand him DS and say DS really wants to be with Daddy don't you ds. Then go do whatever you want. Fuck him and his pissing off to pub with friends when you can't even get a bloody bath in peace.

This isn't about you taking time out OP. It's about a man who is supposed to love you seeing how exhausted and burned out you are, and yet not caring enough to say you can have a bath in peace.

His needs will always come before yours.

The weekend set up is absolutely unacceptable on a regular basis, with a small child. The bath stuff is obviously shit but the weekend stuff says everything that anyone needs to know about what sort of man he is.

I am raging on your behalf that he could be so useless when you had explained you wanted a bath.

I'd be telling him that you will be meeting him at the end of training so he can take dc while you have afternoon off

I'd fuck off out before he does and not answer my phone. Possibly for the whole weekend.

no it would be his fault. His fault for making you show him that he is an absolute fucker.

alternatively, you take your son and thrust him in DHs arms as soon as training is finished, and zoom off somewhere.
And for sunday? call his mates wife and tell her to be out? or go out with her? leave all the DCs with the men.

Yep.
OP, your H deliberately sabotaged your precious, tiny, rare little bit of time for yourself. The only way you will be able to get that bit in time will be to ensure he can’t, by being out of the house or getting H out of the house with your son.

Leave the house...and your joint child in his care. Do this every weekend going forward.

Yes, this would be my suggestion too. Go for a lovely coffee and cake somewhere, and explain to him that time for yourself means uninterrupted time, and that needs to be more equal for you both going forward.

I'd talk to him seriously and calmly, stating that in no uncertain terms you need equal free time. So if he's out all day Saturday, then you get all day Sunday to do what you want uninterrupted.

This will be non negotiable and starting this weekend.

In all honestly he doesn't really give a shit about you.

I would ask him - do you not see why this (the disproportionate time he vs you get to yourselves) is a problem, or do you just not care?

If he doesn't see why, you can lay it out along with your expectations going forwards. If he admits he doesn't care, that tells you all you need to know. But even if he doesn't care and has half a brain cell, he will choose option 1 and you can set your new expectations and boundaries.

I'd do this too. I actually think it's a good thing if he has to let people down for training. He'll have to deal with it and it might make him realise more that his actions have consequences. Remember, it's his problem, not yours. He'll just have to step up for once.

Travelodge, bath, book, TV, chocolate, wine. Turn your phone off.

Exactly.
Not single, married for a better life, but child free.
Seen this or similar situation too many times to actually bother myself.

I'd book myself a hotel tonight, pay for late checkout and fuck off for the night and next day. Fuck his stupid football, he can be a parent for a change and you can sit in the bath all evening if you want.

Any chance you meet your dh after training then leave your son with him while you go off and do something nice?

They absolutely do, it’s just in most cases they don’t give a toss. It’s the same as any routine, mundane household work - they deem it beneath them. Weaponised incompetence.

He absolutely knew what he was doing putting your son in the bath with you against your will.

Agree with others - set them up with a book etc, go out and leave them to it. It’s all too easy for men to constantly default when there is usually absolutely no reason they can’t step up.

This is terrible behaviour. Your partner deliberately sabotaged your time after leading you to believe you could have it. This is worse than refusing in the first place as its actually cruel to allow someone to think they're having a treat and then ruin it. I don't think the answer in something so simple as going out next time, because your partners attitude to you is a huge problem. You need to tell him straight how this has made you feel.

Good on You OP hope she messages back and is free 🤞

If not have a look at what's on locally on Sunday and go and do it 😊 have that you time.

I would be out of the door tomorrow and leave a note that you will see after you have had a break. This is not okay. You are slowly becoming the default and only parent, you will burn out. This is not a time to ‘calm down’ op.

I think I remember your previous thread @Tootiredmummyof3. It is now time for you to take drastic action.

Tell him, in no uncertain terms, that you have had enough. He isn't stupid, he knows what he has done. He is simply choosing to not put your needs first.

Have you got the funds to book a hotel for the night either tonight or tomorrow?

a) the OP has said it takes ages for her DC to settle. It sounds like her alone time would end up being bedtime.
b) why should OP not have alone time in her own house when she is awake and alert?
c) the DC and DH need to spend more time together to build their relationship.

What a cunt