One child has inherited AGAIN

It’s a can of worms. It’s beginning to look like materialism, if both sons will inherit from their biological fathers/mother then each is provided for. Though she has made a family of four with her partner so you’d expect him to view his stepson (whether they’re married or not, they’re life partners) as more than just a grudging obligation. Clearly she can’t sort it out amicably with him. And how do the boys get on in all this? Money corrupts 😟

I agree. Children are perfectly able to understand that too. But unfortunately a lot of parents (like the OP) try to force situations that just end up causing the children disappointment because what they have been (mis)led to expect from other people doesn't happen.

It's all in her other threads. And it is her who wants her partner to change his Will. Currently he is leaving his share of the house to his son and she is leaving her share to both of her sons. She wants her partner to change it so he leaves half to her son.

The eldest son's father also owns a house which he will inherit one day.

No, no, I don't agree at all. What other unrelated people do has nothing to do with her. She needs to treat her children the same. Both of these children have fathers who are leaving them half a house. It would be absolutely cruel for her to disinherit one of her own children because the child's own grandmother left him money. That should have nothing to do with how she treats her children. Honestly, you should have a look at her other threads. She has constantly sabotaged family relations with her behaviour. I suspect this is why her partner's mother didn't leave him any money directly and why they don't have access to the Trust.

The problem here as I see is that her partner does not share the concerns she has about the disparity in prospects between their two sons. They are half brothers, whether he is the biological father or not. He chose to share his life with a mother and her child, and they had a child together. For her to say he doesn’t agree they should ’change their wills’ to reflect this situation implies two things. One…he is not concerned about the older son’s inferior position. Two…he is fine with his mother showing blatant favouritism for one of the brothers. Three…he appears to be dictating what OP puts in her will, as well as refusing to acknowledge her concerns. Not quite the loving father figure one would hope to introduce one’s child to. And incidentally…where does she say they are not married (though I believe sharing a home and family makes him a stepfather). She calls his mother her Mother in Law (MiL). If he doesn’t view himself as such what on Earth did she see in him? She was surely setting up her first child for a life of inferiority and disappointment.

Nope. It's not irrelevant. They aren't legally tied. They aren't financially tied. If the split up, all the OP will get is CM. She isn't entitled to anything of his. No money. No savings. No pension. Having a child just means he is committed to the child. Not her. He isn't a stepfather. He is mum's boyfriend.

Ah OK! This is ongoing then 🙁 It says a lot that she needs to garner support from strangers. He is leaving ‘his’ share of the house to ‘his’ son…what a bizarre relationship. Their joint son has two inheritances, and the father is basically happy with him also having three quarters of the house when they die…the older (poorer) sibling to get a quarter. She needs to leave her half to her older son if she wants to even up the balance…then they’ll have joint ownership. What a palaver. How they can live together in unity is beyond me though her anonymously voiced concerns suggest they don’t? I also understood her to say the older son’s father was out of the picture? If not, and he stands to inherit a property from him (though is the father single and without other children?) then it’s another complication.

It's all in her other threads. And it is her who wants her partner to change his Will. Currently he is leaving his share of the house to his son and she is leaving her share to both of her sons. She wants her partner to change it so he leaves half to her son.

The eldest son's father also owns a house which he will inherit one day.

The problem here as I see is that her partner does not share the concerns she has about the disparity in prospects between their two sons. They are half brothers, whether he is the biological father or not. He chose to share his life with a mother and her child, and they had a child together. For her to say he doesn’t agree they should ’change their wills’ to reflect this situation implies two things. One…he is not concerned about the older son’s inferior position. Two…he is fine with his mother showing blatant favouritism for one of the brothers. Three…he appears to be dictating what OP puts in her will, as well as refusing to acknowledge her concerns. Not quite the loving father figure one would hope to introduce one’s child to. And incidentally…where does she say they are not married (though I believe sharing a home and family makes him a stepfather). She calls his mother her Mother in Law (MiL). If he doesn’t view himself as such what on Earth did she see in him? She was surely setting up her first child for a life of inferiority and disappointment.

Money ghouls? The MIL had a right to leave her money to her grandchildren.
The male relative who only left to male relatives sounds a dick to do that - but it was his money. It was his choice.
The fact is that OP and her partner may go through all sorts of life changes, as things happen. I have a will but I have a feeling anything in my home will
probably end up funding my care, such is the way the world seems to be going.
Yes, we should plan for the future and be as fair as we can but that’s all a person can do.
Blended families are difficult and there are no hard and fast rules.
OP was upset in a previous thread that her ex wanted to adopt a child who wasn’t his natural child, but now feels her new other half should leave more to his stepson than his own natural son.
All of this anger and sense of unfairness seeps into families and down to children who otherwise could live happily without it.
I have seen so many families torn apart by this stuff, and it’s not worth it. It brings such negativity and depleted resilience.
The more we learn about being independent, and finding our own paths, the better off we are.
I have also seen people who have received large sums literally blow them.
Enjoy your health, if you have it. Enjoy your family and the relationships you have with people you love and care about.
At the end of the day, taking personal offence on behalf of your children changes nothing.

The problem here as I see is that her partner does not share the concerns she has about the disparity in prospects between their two sons. They are half brothers, whether he is the biological father or not. He chose to share his life with a mother and her child, and they had a child together. For her to say he doesn’t agree they should ’change their wills’ to reflect this situation implies two things. One…he is not concerned about the older son’s inferior position. Two…he is fine with his mother showing blatant favouritism for one of the brothers. Three…he appears to be dictating what OP puts in her will, as well as refusing to acknowledge her concerns. Not quite the loving father figure one would hope to introduce one’s child to. And incidentally…where does she say they are not married (though I believe sharing a home and family makes him a stepfather). She calls his mother her Mother in Law (MiL). If he doesn’t view himself as such what on Earth did she see in him? She was surely setting up her first child for a life of inferiority and disappointment.

The op wasn't realistic if that was the reason she went with her partner. There is no guarantees that his family will like her and they don't have to like her. The op deciding to have another child with her partner is up to the two of them not the wider family. I didn't choose my partner because of his family I choose him. Whatever is bequeathed is up to them nothing to do with me. It only affects me when it upsets my partner and that's when I get involved.

If they have a mortgage, they are financially tied.
The family law definition of a step parent is being not biologically related to a child in your care and treat as a member of the family you created with the biological parent.

Might be different in other countries.

If her "boyfriend" doesnt consider himself a step parent when he's living in the same house as the child, she needs to get shot of him.

Legally it’s a precarious situation especially if he dies without a will.

Yes, that is the real issue here for me too. Now that is unfair and discriminatory IMO

I think the courts would disagree on the living together unmarried part.

They live together and have a child. Marriage is irrelevant, he IS her sons step father. I feel having a child and likely a mortgage is a bigger tie than marriage.

I think the courts would disagree on the living together unmarried part.

Personally i feel more annoyed at the relative giving to the boys rather than the girls.
For everyone going on about blood lines (ick) and "real" relations, imagine a real relative whos is your bloodline giving your son and not your daughter because hes male?! I honestly think id tell them to shove the money. Weird outdated sounding family!