One child has inherited AGAIN

I understand OP and am in a similar situation for my children. my will benefits the children who will inherit least. It won’t even things up at all but it’s all I can do.

why are you not considering that?

Why would you need or want to have a conversation with your oldest child about your youngest child's financial situation?

Whats that about?

I dont know my sisters income and she doesnt know mine, I dont know her financial ins and outs, or her mortgage, or her partners income, she doesnt know mine, why would we?

What relationship does your inheriting son have with your other DC?

You don't have to just accept the will. You can - if all agree - sign a deed of variation. That means the money could be split between the kids. The executor of the estate would have to agree, as well as other benefactors

My DH used this to split inheritance with other surviving family members when he inherited all (by law) from a relative who died without leaving a will.

How old are the boys?

I do get though that in a way it’s non of his half siblings business what inheritance his got. It’s his money with nobody else having a right to it.

Problem with money is everyone always wants a bit when they know what you have… oh can I have a “loan” for a car, you’ve got 200k sat doing nothing… it’s not like you earnt it either… you already have a house just given to you…

The worst thing about this situation is the girls being left out. OP maybe you could talk to their parents, and share ways of coping with the unfairness.

In terms of dealing with your 2 kids having such different advantages, maybe you should remember that siblings often end up with very different lifestyles. It’s not uncommon for one sibling to be a millionaire while another lives on benefits. That’s just life. Things might usually start equal, but they rarely end up that way. This situation has just brought the inequalities forward for a few years.

If it really bothers you, you could give your older son more financial help, and possibly bequeath him a larger inheritance.

Roughly what age are the boys ? If they are in the 40s then perhaps that’s their business to talk about but if kids or teens I do think you need to help guide this situation

Money comes and goes education is what separates people. Your son's could be broke tomorrow but as long as they have their education they can get it back again. When you don't have a good education and your money goes a minimum wage job is not replacing it. Education is what sets you apart.

Im not angry or rude, Im incredulous at some of the posts here and the one I responded to showed no understanding of the situation. The poster has since replied and still doesnt get it.

It seems a bit unreasonable to expect people to leave money to a child they are not related to.

So you have misunderstood. His cousins have not inherited these people's money because they are not his cousins.

This is just another part of being a blended family.

It was always going to be a possibility that when one family has money and the other doesn’t that one child will get inheritance and one not.

You need to treat your children the same. Their families get to treat them how they want.

Seems to be a bit of a theme on here of mums marrying a man who has/his family has more money then her first Borns as well as then wanting to be involved in their grandchild’s life more than the first Borns family and it always causing issues for the mum.

Surely not telling the older son will do damage long term. When he sees his younger brother go on unlimited luxury holidays and buy a £2million house cash he would question where the money has come from?

How much are we talking? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands? A million?

Disparity often doesnt come about through different choices. People have different health needs, get different jobs, have different partners

And actually this disparity has come about through different choices, your choices, your choice to have a child with one person and then another with another. Nothing wrong with that actually, its human, its been the case for thousands of years or however long humans have been around
However there is no pain to be had here, someone else said you need to look at why this has affected you emotionally so disproportionately to the situation, what on earth is going on in your mind that this is so much drama

I'm not sure if anyone has replied to your post yet after you raised this point in reply to my post.

There are slightly different rules depending on if you are in England & Wales or Scotland.

I'm going to be assuming E&W here.

Generally speaking, people have "testamentary freedom". This means that you can leave your possessions to anyone you want in your will (even the local cat rescue home in preference to your own children if you so wish).

"...everything is passed to the spouse upon death?"

You may be thinking here of things like joint ownership of a home or joint bank accounts.

If a couple own a home as "joint tenants" (as opposed to "tenants in common") then, on the death of one spouse, the home does automatically pass to the surviving spouse on death. Similarly with joint bank accounts, the surviving spouse automatically inherits the account.

However, many people these days are choosing to own property as "tenants in common" so that their share does NOT automatically go to their surviving spouse or partner.

"...everything is passed to the spouse upon death?"

Another situation where this can happen is if one spouse dies without making a will. They die "intestate".

Again, this is just for E&W but the outcome will depend on the value of the estate. If the total estate is worth less than £322,000 then the surviving spouse does indeed get everything.

If the estate is worth more than £322k then the spouse gets the first £322k and anything above that is split 50/50 with the children.
.

"She should’ve got the full lot not 50%, I don’t get that at all."

The decision in this case is not a particularly surprising or notable one. Indeed, it is perhaps what many lawyers would consider a classic or “textbook” Inheritance Act claim.

A devoted and long-suffering wife and mother is disinherited by her own husband who wished to pass on his estate exclusively to his male heirs, and is then awarded half of the estate by a judge who adopts the divorce standard.

I think that this case shows that, while people do certainly have "testamentary freedom" to leave gifts to whoever they want in their will, that must be balanced against a society which, quite rightly, stands against very obvious injustice and inequality.

What age are your sons O/P and at what age did the step dad for your son come in.
I totally agree with you it’s really unfair and if I was the older son I would be so hurt. It’s one thing to see your cousin getting different to you but your own brother is harsh.
if it was me, I would leave my entire will to the son that didn’t get anything and I would explain that to both.

Sad as it is , it's the way it goes I'm afraid. Would your eldest childs father leave anything to your younger son ( if he was wealthy enough to do so) and would that be unreasonable for him not too ? I have 2nd marriage and all children have different extended family , its just the way it goes .

I understood what you were saying. People are so quick to anger here.

You effectively have the inequality of our society manifested in your own kids. Most people are able to put it away from their minds as it’s not in their faces and perhaps they are surrounded by people with similar economic backgrounds, but for you, it’s quite stark. So I am not surprised that it is upsetting for you.
And of course, you would want your kids to continue to be close as brothers when you are gone and not be separated by inheritance realities. Bloodline isn’t everything, relationships are.
So your emotions are understandable.

Exactly this. 👏

The answer would be to hold the house as tenants in common and for OP to leave her share to both children equally with a life interest to her DH. That way both sons are guaranteed to get something from her whatever happens with her DH.

No need to be rude. Of course I haven’t misunderstood, I know he doesn’t have any right to inherit, but if everyone of his siblings and cousins have inherited, that is bound to hurt.