One child has inherited AGAIN

Most people do consider step-children to be part of the nuclear family.

This is why there is an uproar when one child is given a Christmas gift and a step-child is not.

That’s not to say the step-child should inherit from their step-parent’s family. It’s simply saying that when two siblings grow up together, seeing one get opportunities and material possessions that you’re not getting hurts. That’s human nature. A compassionate person would acknowledge that.

People are attributing adult rationalisation to a child.

Jesus, the amount of histrionics on this thread…

Understandably It’s an emotive subject for the OP but some people almost vomiting reading the opening post, get a grip!

The uncle who bequeathed only the male family members, that’s his right, perhaps culturally from his generation that was considered the norm. Females generally married into their spouses family who would be benefiting from inheritance from that family be it via their husbands and/or children.

Secondly, suck it up, buttercup, your son is of no blood relation to your partner’s family. Just like the uncle of your partner only recognised male heirs for inheritance purposes, your MIL only recognised blood grandchildren for her inheritance purposes.

You can look to redress the balance by leaving more in your will to the eldest but to try and manipulate a man of no blood relation to leave more than presumably an equal share amongst the children is quite simply a reflection of your character.

That's the theory, not real life.

If there's eldest discovers later in life what happened he'll feel utterly betrayed by not knowing. The secret being kept will be a far worse wound than the financial difference. If he is told now, it will likely be OK.

Sometimes you just have to do the least bad thing.
Edit: this should absolutely not lead to the youngest being expected to share his money. I don't see why it would unless the eldest is a bully.

We don't even know if the man considers the eldest to be his son or if the eldest considers the man to be his father. He has his own father. This man might just be "mum's partner" to him.

This. If your older child’s paternal family don’t have much in the way of assets that they can inherit than that’s just the way it is. He wasn’t your MILs biological grandchild.

Recognised within their family. As in stepdad can say "these are my sons". But outside of that, no one else has to consider a stepchild to be family. Such as in this case where the stepfather's extended family does not recognise the older child as a grandchild/nephew. He's part of the stepfather's family, not theirs.

My interpretation is in line with InterIgnis' post.

Thanks Soupfiend 😁

Socially recognised by some but again not all.

Sure, but it’s up to the youngest if he wants to talk about it, and potentially open himself up to emotional blackmail. His finances are his business, it’s not for OP to share that info with her eldest.

He’s not wrong to decide not to share with his sibling. The inheritance is his, from his relatives, and he has zero obligation to consider himself responsible for putting his brother on an even footing.

A step-child is a socially recognised child. Socially recognised does not mean legally recognised. The meaning of nuclear family has evolved and includes step-members.

The function is the same, a nuclear family is two adults raising their kids in one home, as opposed to an extended family structure, where multiple generations of individuals, including biological parents, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live together.

You don't think that so what are you talking about?

How is a conversation "emotional blackmail"? I'm genuinely baffled by your interpretation.

The point is one sibling inherits and one does not, it does hurt. I’ve repeatedly said that that’s nit the inheriting child’s fault, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting.

Exactly.

This is terrible advice, what planet are you on. OP has no right, no one has any right, to discuss a 3rd party's financial information with someone else

It's up to her younger son if he wants his older brother to know. Its got nothing to do with the op and her younger son should not be bullied because he has inherited.

If he wanted to share he will without any whispering in ears.

"consisting of a pair of adults and their socially recognized children"

The OP's eldest is not her partner's child. And nuclear family does not include grandparents let alone one parent's partner's extended family. The OP's family is a stepfamily. Not a nuclear family.

Should ops son be emotionally blackmailed to hand over some of his inheritance?

No, why would you think that?

Who said anything about emotional blackmail? There is a big difference between talking to someone and emotionally blackmailing them. Or at least there is for most people.

Would you choose not to share with your sibling?

So some say biological, some say not.

The family the op has married into says biological only.

A nuclear family (also known as an elementary family, atomic family or conjugal family) is a family group consisting of parentsand their children (one or more), typically living in one home residence. It is in contrast to a single-parent family, a larger extended family or a family with more than two parents. Nuclear families typically center on a married couple which may have any number of children. There are differences in definition among observers. Some definitions allow only biological children who are full-blood siblings and consider adopted or half- and step-siblings a part of the immediate family but others allow for a step-parent and any mix of dependent children, including stepchildren and adopted children.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclearfamily

Not remotely what you asked, but yes - your nephew should share his money with his sisters, and everything should be out in the open. Time to start blabbing all round, OP.

This is where you can't follow what your husband says. Your eldest is your son and his feelings of betrayal will not come from the financial disparity but from not knowing.
Your husband is talking nonsense, just ignore him on this. Your eldest will be greatly hurt by you not speaking to him proactively. If you do, he will probably feel gutted but keep his strong relationship with you and move on with his life.