One child has inherited AGAIN

🤷🏻‍♀️

But it’s not anymore, as linked above.

Make your own way in life

No.

2+2 does not equal 5.

Giving gifts to all children in a blended family does not mean the gift giver considers them a nuclear one.

‘Nuclear family’ is generally understood to mean parent and their biological children, not a stepfamily.

You give all the children in the house a gift. Ergo, they are a nuclear family.

It's not hard. I 100% agree with you. You can be a nice person without it meaning you are making some sort of statement.

As a Mum this is really tough. Appreciate thread not about £s from step family going to your eldest but I’ve been on the other side of this. Aunt passed away. I’m the bio and my half siblings through marriage got the same. Wouldn’t of wanted it any other way and would have shared if hadn’t been equal. Family is about more than blood. Or at least it should be. To have the latest inheritance based on sex and with even more secrecy is a huge burden. I’d be tempted to level the playing field. It’s not fair of your husband imho to not allow you both to leave your own house to the eldest. When DP got with you he knew you came as a pair and even he seems to
want youngest to disproportionately benefit. How would he feel if it was the converse? Eldest in position of youngest? I suspect he’d have no problem then allowing a levelling at least to a token extent of their life chances. Not sure if it helps but there is also the option of life insurance from you to eldest. Some policies allow also a guaranteed lump sum to be paid to a named beneficiary. If it was me I’d be minded to do that. No one else’s business and we need to be true to ourselves so take no heed of DP. To have the peace of mind both are secure when leave this world the most important thing.

Umm. I would save my RAGE for the one who left their fortune only to the males. I’d call the female grandchildren and say I’m so sorry and the best fuck you you can do about this is by making a success of your life. Never trust any relative who didn’t tell you this was a huge mistake. And tell your own child that while he’s very lucky you think it is disgusting to leave out the girls, and you see the dead relative in a whole new light so just as well they are dead really. personally I’d take a step back from any of my partners adult relatives who weren’t raging about it too. Grandma leaving her estate to the grandchildren? Pretty normal. A shame for your older child, but you both love him and that will have to be enough.

You can change your will if you like - your partner can’t stop you and you don’t have to tell him.

I am your DP in this situation, my children will likely inherit a fair amount from my grandmother and parents, but I have a step son who will not be left anything in their wills. My DH is unphased by this, we hope that we will build up enough over the next (hopefully) several decades that we can split a fair whack equally between them. Yes my step son won't inherit the same as my bio kids, but he will inherit from his mum's side. Just the way of things when you have blended families, kids will get different opportunities and experiences and there's nothing we can do about it other than accept and make the best of things.

I had a lovely childhood and wanted for nothing, lovely holidays etc, I have younger step siblings who have probably had more 'treats' than I did due to my parent being better off during their childhood than mine. But it doesn't bother me and I'm not resentful. It's just life!

That's a stupid question. What's the point you are trying to make? Because I give gifts to both half-siblings in a household it means I consider them to be a nuclear family? It doesn't. I would consider them to be a step/blended family.

The same as I did when I was part of one. I have two families (my parents separately). My half-sibling only has one family (his parents together). I have an extended family that I share with my half-sibling and another extended family that I do not share with him. Same for him. The one we share treats us the same. We were not part of each other's other extended family.

I don't know why that's so hard for people to understand.

Disinheriting one child because the other wasn't left money by someone they weren't related to is extremely shitty behaviour, frankly. I hope the OP doesn't do that, because that is something that will cause long term problems between the brothers.

The best message you can teach your sons OP is 'Life isn't always fair'.

They're adults now at 18 & 24, I'm sure they're probably figuring that out themselves too.

As opposed to people from myriad other countries that would put it far more bluntly?

When you give a child a gift, do you give their neighbour’s child a gift too?

Are you English?

My other grandparents. The ones not related to my half-sibling.

Lol at the “all the best” and flowers after the rude, condescending and completely unsympathetic post.
So English.

Not sure why @HollyKnight 's grandparents thought her half-sibling was nothing to do with them. Surely, they were also their grandchild? I'm confused. Unless we are talking step-siblings?

Well I for one am pleased that reading comprehension skills seem to be thriving - bravo to the British education system. Am sure the OP is so glad she posted.

Why wouldn’t the eldest understand that he isn’t owed the same as his brother from people that aren’t his relatives? Why would he expect OP to favor him in her will over her youngest?

Besides, Op doing that means her partner could just turn around and leave his assets entirely to his son, meaning her eldest wouldn’t be any better off anyway. He could even be worse off, depending on who the assets actually belong to (considering OP and her partner aren’t married).

Why would the mil have left money to him?

He will inherit from his own father.

How can you expect someone else’s money be inherited by your children that have nothing but association to do with your partner? That seems quite entitled and you should be happy that the son you do share with said partner received his fair share and leave it at that.

As for their futures being quite, unfortunately, that is a potential reality when you have multiple children from multiple fathers OP.

Perhaps the other childrens father should be expected to step up for his biological children instead of rather entitledly expecting handouts from your other childs family.

All the best. 💐

Eh, no, it doesn't. It just means I buy all the children gifts. It doesn't make them family. Like I said, when I give a child something on their birthday, I usually give their siblings something too. It doesn't mean I consider it to be their birthday too.