To think the local authority can shove it up somewhere..

Ask your MP for a home appointment so they can meet your child.

Even if there are full assessments the LA does not fund the recommendations and schools are left out of pocket.

@Deadbeatex absolutely agree with everything you have said, as a health professional, I can agree that those that fully engage and chase get much further.

However, as nhs professionals we are not allowed to state what setting a child should go to, just what support and facilities they need. For example I can say that they 'need a educational setting all on one level or lift access', but not 'x school would meet their access needs'.
Private ones have more flexibility I think, but still have to remain within their professional boundaries

If you want him in a school would try at least, whatever school they give you? Would you homeschool otherwise?

I've had many a battle with the EA having 2 SEN DC and I highly suggest you lawyer up or contact a local support service to help you. I'm in Northern Ireland so I don't think providing specifics will help assuming you are in England? Your DC should hopefully be entitled to legal aid so check this out, myself and many other parents have found that once "officials" are involved and its not just us as parents fighting alone, the EA usually back down quickly and do the job they should have bloody well done in the first place!
An Ed Pysch years ago told me (she was retiring and no longer gave a fuck and had had enough of fighting the very system she worked for) the quiet parents always end up with DC worst off. Be a LOUD parent, I don't mean shouting, swearing, rude, aggressive etc I mean pushy, in your face, I'm not going away, always polite parent. Follow ANY verbal conversations with an email so it's all recorded in writing, ex. "I'm writing to confirm we spoke today at (time) and discussed/agreed the following" and ALWAYS give a deadline of when you expect a response/next steps to be taken. 1 minute after that deadline passes you chase it up immediately. Basically you need to be the politest pain in the arse possible so they give you what your DC is entitled to and deserves just to get rid of you. Sounds crazy doesn't it and 100% NOT how the system should work but sadly currently that's the way it is.
You've mentioned you have professionals involved with your DC, request all of them get involved and write a letter of support that your DC needs a specialist setting and not mainstream. If possible request a disability Social Worker who can also support you. You need an army so start building one.
In the meantime if you do have to accept a mainstream placement temporarily (even if just to prove it's not the appropriate setting) you don't have to agree to a reduced timetable, the mainstream SENCO will then join your army to get your DC moved to an appropriate placement.
Please feel free to PM me, I don't know everything but I've battled quite a few battles over the last few years and I'll answer/advice as best I can.
Buckle up OP as its a hell of a fight and you need to strong, consistent and fierce to get your DC what common sense says they should have but you can and will win 💪🏻

I am sorry this has happened to you. Unfortunately it is not that uncommon anymore and I think it's down to not enough places in special schools.
Where I work we do have a number of children with needs like yours. They are very much looked after and liked, but I don't think we are fully meeting their needs despite every effort.
I hope you can appeal and find a more suitable place.

Go and visit lots of special schools including private ones

this can then only be declined if the school is full or cannot meet need, or if LA refusing to fund.

Legally, unless the school is wholly independent, the LA must name the parental preference unless the LA can prove:
-The setting is unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs (“SEN”) of the child or young person; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the efficient use of resources.

Being full is not defined in law, and on its own being ‘full’ is not enough of a reason to refuse to name parent’s preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DC is incompatible. That bar is higher than many LAs like to admit. Sadly, LAs act unlawfully and force parents to appeal far too often.

Obviously LA will only offer you state schools

Not always. Independent schools (mainstream and specialist) and NMSS can be named in EHCPs. Many have to appeal for this, but there are a minority of cases where parents don’t have to.

Also, if it isn’t appropriate for the provision to be made in a school (SS or MS), there is EOTAS/EOTIS.

Did you visit specialist settings and identify one which you felt was a good fit for your child. Has that school stated can meet you child's need and has places?
A parent can name a specific school as their preference, this can then only be declined if the school is full or cannot meet need, or if LA refusing to fund.

This. There’s no money for SEN schools and no one wants to pay more tax. What’s the solution?

Have you found a school that is suitable? That turned out to be our issue. We have a special school which was for children with very severe needs and everywhere else was mainstream with a designated provision or mainstream with a 1-1.

My friends ds is similar and she has a private SN school close to her which was suitable for more moderate ASD and the LA eventually agreed to pay. Near us there's only one SN school and again it wasn't a good fit. So we had to go mainstream with the extra support, it's certainly not perfect but is the best fit available.

Obviously LA will only offer you state schools but you may find there is nowhere that is a good fit. Mainstream with good 1-1 support may be the best you can do.

Appeal, don’t let them send him to mainstream because getting your child into placements for specialist schools in year is much harder (no spaces etc)

@TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity you deciding to flexi-school is a valid choice. However, if you don’t want to do that, the LA has a duty to ensure DD still receives a suitable full-time education under section 19 of the Education Act 1996. If you haven’t requested alternative provision (as well as part time school or instead of if school isn't appropriate), you can, using one of IPSEA’s model letters. If you have requested such provision but the LA has refused, ignored you or are delaying, you could look at a pre-action letter and JR if necessary. JR may also be possible for the social care issues depending on the specifics of your case.

Have you also requested an EHCNA? The school shouldn't be constantly calling you to collect either.

@Ellie56 has posted excellent advice. The LA needs to finalise by 15th Feb, not only just start the review process in Feb.

She can't cope with full time school as things stand, when she's in school I have to be within a 5 minute radius as they call so much as well.

I've went down every avenue to sort something out, but it's just the state of things atm.

I home school part time and she's in school part time.

It's insane and it's infuriating, but sadly not uncommon. I know so many people (myself included) who've end up home educating because councils have no money to provide our kids with the support they need.

This is so upsetting to read. You can clearly see yourself that mainstream school can't meet his needs, and I imagine most schools would agree. And yet they want to send you off into a situation that will work for nobody - your DS, the staff or the other pupils. It makes me so cross.

Get your documents ready for appeal so you can submit it once the LA name mainstream for phase transfer. Have copies of SALT report, OT, ed psych, physio, paediatric reports etc all as evidence ready to go. Research now the local Sen school you would like, ask to visit and whether they can meet needs then you can ask the LA to consult them as your parental preference. The sendist tribunal do try to prioritise phase transfer appeals when it's just the placement being argued so you hopefully get a hearing before September or the LA will likely concede if you have all your evidence in order. Hope this is helpful.

@TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity

Your child should not be on a part time table as that is unlawful exclusion.

@ToastyCat

If your child is due to transfer from nursery to Primary school this year, the LA should have reviewed the EHCP last term as the Final EHCP naming the primary school legally has to be issued by 15th February at the latest. This is to allow time for an appeal.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/moving-to-a-new-phase-of-education-with-an-ehc-plan

You should send this letter to the LA informing them they are in danger of breaching the statutory deadline.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/letter-to-la-when-it-has-or-will-breach-the-deadline-for-reviewing-and-amending-the-ehc-plan-in-advance-of-a-phase-transfer-template-letter-12

Once you have your Final EHCP either naming a type of school or a specific school you can appeal.

If you have reports saying a specialist setting would be beneficial, that is too vague and woolly. They need to be much more specific. Eg X requires a specialist autism specific setting with class sizes of no more than 6 and staff with at least 2 years' experience of working with children with autism.

When is your child 5? Is there any possibility the nursery would keep him for longer until you get a suitable school?

And if the mainstream schools are talking about a part- time timetable, this should form part of your evidence for a special school. All children are entitled to full time education and part time timetables are only supposed to be used in very exceptional circumstances and for a short period of time.

www.ipsea.org.uk/faqs/part-time-timetable

I am sorry you are going through this. It's so unfair on your child.

I am not surprised you are cross. My LA area often places children with simikar needs to yours in mainstream due to lack of places.

It's so bloody tough.

My dd attends mainstream, its a heavily reduced timetable, and I have to be on call the whole time due to her various health difficulties.

The council also provide a certain amount of respite funding for dd, however they have cut every single service it can be spent on so the funding is technically available, but unusable.

No advice Im afraid, just solidarity.

What do the expert reports say? Any chance that all consulted MS schools will say they cannot meet need?

And really sorry you are going through this. It's absolutely disgusting and criminal what happening to children with SN in this country. Sadly, it won't improve under Labour and their obsession to increase inclusion.

I would ask the LA to finalise Asap so you can lodge the appeal. Waiting times are about a year so hopefully, he won't be out of school too long .