To think iv wasted my life and I don’t see the point of carrying on

You're only 34 plenty of time to start. My dd has dyslexia and adhd and is at uni doing mental health nursing, you can too if that's what you want but it will be difficult but it you are determined you can do it. You'd need to do some sort of access course at college first.

Edited to add I don't mean you doing mental health nursing, just that you can go to uni too if thats what you want. Realise it sounded confusing.

34? I’ve got jumpers which are older than you!
Turn your thoughts around and recognise your experience and achievements as a mother. With two teenagers, a child who’s becoming independent of you and a supportive husband, now’s the time to build on your ambition. Success doesn’t always follow traditional routes. Allow nothing to get in your way.
It’s not too late.

Your post is better written than half the emails and reports I wade through from highly qualified professionals.

You have resilience, life experience and a desire to develop.

You will be an asset. Take the first step, explore adult education in your area today.

My husband had not a single qualification until he was in his 30s. He started with entry level adult numeracy and literacy at a local learning centre. Then level 1, then level 2. Then a level 2 city and guilds course at a college where he won an award for student of the year. Then a level 3 where he won another award (I'm a bit proud, you might be able to tell). It's never too late.

There are many entry level roles. You can start unqualified and take your qualifications as you work.

Many people don't start a career till they're in their 30s or 40s.

Have a look on indeed.

I was 35, married with two kids (2.5 and 1 y/o) when I decided to completely change my career, which meant retraining part-time for five years. Ten years later I love what I do now and haven’t once regretted it.

You are not too thick or too old to change your life. Those thoughts are called limiting beliefs because they keep you stuck. Whenever I have a thought that limits me (‘I’ll never learn x’/ ‘This is too hard’/ ‘I’m going to mess this up’ etc) I say to myself ‘maybe, but maybe not’ and I make room for the thought that reality can be different from my belief, because my thought is not a fact.

In my area there are training providers to support adults with education and training, and maybe there’s an org in your area that can help you access some relevant courses to build your self-confidence? Also colleges often have careers service advisers that can plot through the steps to get to your end goal. Maybe a chat with a student adviser would help you break your career goal into stages?

I swear if I knew you in real life I’d be so excited for you and willing you on to at least research this.

No way! 34 is not too old and it isnt too late.

I know people who are done with the child raising years and starting to live their lives for themselves in their 40s (some are still raising young children). They are studying and working in various fields. They are taking charge of their health, some have just started to learn to drive.

You are only 34. You can do so much.

Have a look at whats available in your area, what interests you and what you can fit around your family life, then just go for it. Theres more clarity and determination as you get older that isnt always there in the younger years so it helps you succeed.

I'm 48 & have no children, I think you're so lucky in life to have 3 children!

I'm applying for a new job myself, in a different role, I've known colleagues such as nurses actually qualify at 50 who had no GCSEs when they left school, but did college courses as 30 / 40 somethings.
Also know healthcare workers who were originally non English speaking immigrants who left school at 11.. who complete the Care Certificate and qualify in venepuncture & cannulation.
I know the local university helps adult students who are dyslexic.

To me I think the main issue is you are a bit depressed maybe and that's making you see everything negatively.. a chat to a gp or practice nurse about how to overcome those thoughts may help.

It’s never too late but I want to mention there’s this pressure from many feminists that all women need to be working a job and it’s not true. You can be proud of being a stay at home mom; it’s the hardest job imo. But if you feel something is missing in ur life then find a hobby to fulfill you. I am a mom and also adhd. I work part time managing 2 rental properties. For my hobbies I work out, do brunch with friends, read, and travel.

The support for issues like dyslexia in the educational system beyond school can be fantastic - and the amount of help (including financial via DSA that doesn’t need to be repaid) is incredible. Please don’t imagine that post-18 education is the same world as school. Wishing you so much good luck.

My sister and my best friend went to college in their 50s and embarked on new careers afterwards and are thriving in them. Neither of them were any good at school. You are absolutely not too old to go back to education. Also despite your childhood and previous abusive relationship you are in a good marriage and i bet you are doing a great job raising your dc, so you are very successful in your personal life. You are still very young and have a long life ahead of you, start planning for the rest of it!

I think adults in 30s and 40s and beyond have a clearer sense of what they really want to study compared to most 16-18s so now is the perfect time to start! What interests you?

You've only been an adult for 16 years and you've hopefully got another 50 left! And look what you have in this time, three children (so you don't have any career disruptions to work around when you get going) a home and a relationship. Rather than being behind, you are actually ahead of many people in terms of life goals. You don't yet have a fulfilling career, that's ok. No one can do everything all at once, so you just do them the other way round to some people. Lots of careers don't need a bunch of formal qualifications. There are incredibly rewarding roles in the third sector for example where no one asks for exam results as its attitude and experience (you can gain through volunteering) that matters. If you've no clear idea of what you want to do I'd strongly recommend a volunteer role. Given you a soft entry into the world of work and you can take it from there.

I had lots of students older than you when I taught Access to Higher education in colleges. Have you looked at what is available locally? Some colleges do a pre access program for people who need to do GCSES first.

34 is so young op (44 and in retail).

Calling yourself thick is your abusive ex speaking. Really think about all the things that you can do. How much did you learn when you became a mother? How much Internet research did you do over various milestones or weaning or secondary school choices, or which hobbies to get them into or other things you can do like learning to drive or cooking (both complex skills when you break them down)? You weren't born knowing any of this stuff, you have learned it. You can learn. You are a learner.

If you didn't do well at school it is because you didn't have the right teachers and you weren't studying the things that interested you. Adult education is a completely different setting to school. You don't have the same social dramas that raging hormonal angsty teenagers do. You can pick and choose the topics you want to take and nobody is forcing you to be there, so the motivation is different too.

I hope you don't dismiss the idea of qualifying in your 30s. It will be hard (especially with 3 kids in tow) but only you can change your life.

I did an access to health and social care course at 30 and many of the people on the course were older than you OP- 40s+ mums who’s kids had grown up and they were looking for a career.

Without meaning it in a judgemental way, many were not typically “bright” but they all (as far as I can remember) stuck with the course and got into universities to do social work degrees.

As for myself, I was doing the course to get on to a psychology degree, which I got, but now I’m a lawyer 😂 It really isn’t too late!

My DM got a degree in her late 40s while working FT, it took her 5 years but she bloody did it! Not something a girl from a WC background, who was a teenage mum probably ever saw in her future at 34.

I'm so sad that the shitty school system we have in this country has instilled in you that you are thick because you have dyslexia and adhd. You are probably incredibly, kind, creative, entrepreneurial with a different way of thinking that would be valuable to so many careers including social care.

Just wanted to say you haven't wasted you’re life any way with or without the job you’re important and you matter x and if that is what you want to try you still have time :)

Have a look here as a starting point:

https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/how-to-become-healthcare-assistant

Also, just look at how many strangers on the internet are invested in you and want to help... you ARE important, you have value. You just need to believe it too.

34 is no age and soon your kids will be truly independent! Get thee to a night class, FE college… start with a subject you like, and honestly you will find GCSEs much easier than you remember esp if you do 1 at a time.

I did nursing training in my thirties, it’s common now

Who says you're too old? 34 is young. My mum did 3 GCSE's at 38.

Lets logic this out.

Do you realise that your poor school outcomes are likely linked to your difficult childhood?

Are you financially able to afford going back to college?

Do you have the time?

Are you well supported now?

My view is that you appear to be better supported and are financially able to go back to education, you also have the time to do so.

Why not book an open day and get a feel for education and courses?

Did you know that before you do an access course, they make you take a test to assess whether you can manage the course? My advice is to do that. You can then get advice from the school about whether you'll be accepted or what support and training they can offer to get you to the required standard or offer you a more suitable course.

Trust me, there is someone out there tenfold your hand, you just need to take the first step.