To think iv wasted my life and I don’t see the point of carrying on

I'm 38 and currently doing an open uni course. It's great when your kids in bed as you can do the work then and not committed to certain hrs

The way I see it is, you’re going to be 40 anyway. Why not be 40 with some GCSEs and a job in healthcare / care, rather than be 40 still worrying you’re too old to start?

To echo what others have said, you are not too young. I went to uni at 31 and I was one of the youngest in the "mature students" group that naturally formed. There were people there in their 50's.

When I was doing the access course to get into uni there were women and men in their 40s and 50s taking essential skills in Maths and English alongside the course. Just go for it. It was the best thing I ever did!

You’re not to old. I’ve done my maths and English over the last year and I’ve got more than a decade on you. I’m also dyslexic and did horrendously at school. If you want to do it, and you put your mind to it, you can.

If you left school with no qualifications then why don’t you just find out what the next step is e.g taking GCSEs or an access course and just do that and then see where you are. It will stand you in good stead whatever you decide to do but it means you don’t have to set your full goal right now. You might find you are more academic
than you think or you might find that study is not for you and choose a different route to something you haven’t even considered yet. Just go for it and also stop putting yourself down. Good luck!

I was also a teen mum (twice) married and divorced after finding myself in abusive situations. I did an online access course during COVID, and was admitted to university at 40. I’m now working a part time job alongside my course, and really enjoying both.
Honestly, if I can do it anyone can! It isn’t easy, but it is possible, and it’s definitely worthwhile.

Not got time to read everything, so just adding this.

Did my maths and English GCSEs at 40. Diagnosed ASD and ADHD at the start of my 50s. Been with current employer for 8 years, kids flown the nest, and actually succeeding. You've lots going for you and time to do something.

You've grown three whole people! That's certainly not a waste of a life!

You could start off by volunteering- could you listen to children read at your 8 year old's primary school to see if you'd be interested in being a TA? Or volunteer in a charity shop to get some experience before applying to work in a shop?

Do you like being outside? If so, could you train to do something practical, like gardening or street sweeping?

There will be plenty you are capable of doing, you just need to build your confidence up a bit.

You haven't wasted your life. You could be twice your age and still be younger than me, So even if you felt you'd wasted your life so far, you've plenty of time to start again.

OP you can redo your GCSE. Look proper into it. They will have ways to help with your dislexia and ADHD.

What about starting a job, even part time? Local shops, factories, school? Just to get you out there and start the path.

I don't know who's said that YANBU but presumably they've either made a mistake or they're the thick ones for thinking that way.

Everyone's entitled to a second go; your disabilities might make it a bit harder but you'll get support so that you can achieve something outside your family.

2 of your children are late teens so are nearly grown. Your 8 year old is in school I presume. That gives you a lot of free time to work on retaking your GCSE's. The fact that your husband earns enough for you to be a SAHM is an amazing opportunity that a lot of women don't get. You're certainly not thick OR too old to do it.

You sound a good person who's resilient and done well, but lacking confidence and job experience.

You could as suggested do an access course, speak to a career's adviser and study. You could apply for care work or NHS jobs as some don't need qualifications and are crying out for staff. Sign up for NHS Bank staff. You could progress from there.

Some of these jobs are part time and Bank's flexible so you could fit it around your life.

With all these options you will learn skills, experience and can see what you like and what you don't to make a long term decision.

What makes you think you’d be too thick to obtain qualifications? You don’t sound thick at all! You sound coherent and self-reflective and capable. You have strength of character and resilience because you escaped an abusive relationship. You sound like someone who would be a brilliant midwife or social worker.

Have you looked into what steps you would need to take to obtain the necessary qualifications?

You are so young, you have gifts on your side. I think there is every opportunity for you to still pursue a career.

Would you think about doing a healthcare assistant course ? It could be good experience if you wish to train as a nurse or midwife in the future. Just a thought. There are lots of different avenues into nursing and midwifery. And there are lots of interesting opportunities for healthcare assistants too, the role is expanding all the time.

Never too old. You will be surprised how many people come back to education at later life. I took a degree in my 20s and there were loads of people over 50, one even 80. Gcses will be the same. They also have alternative access courses for various careers, go and have a chat with the colleges and start finding out what your options are. It might take you a while to build up to signing up but you can start the process of finding out now. There are access courses for people who have no gcses to get straight into higher education courses, this is probably true for midwifery but you should start looking into it and you might feel more positive about it all once you have some ideas about how to do it.

I just did a post grad diploma and about a third of the class had to retake maths or English gcse (or both) as the apprenticeship required it. I am 42 and one of the younger people on the course.

You're not too thick and at your age certainly not too old.
Sounds like you had a rocky start, but have 3 lovely children and a supportive husband.
Retrain to do something you want and get on with enjoying life with your family.

34 is young, talk to a good career advisor, you have plenty of time to start a career, even if you qualified at 40, you would still have 27 years of work ahead of you

This is a fantastic post and spot on IMO. Care work can be fitted around your other commitments, good for your CV and most importantly an idea of at least some aspects of social/medical care. You will also be doing a really important (like vital) job and that is itself gives confidence.

Do look into access course options alongside. Dyslexia and ADHD are better recognised now and although they won't make things easier, there is an awareness that some people will need adjustments. That awareness extends to people not fulfilling their potential in their teens, for reasons often beyond their control.

Wishing you the very best of luck

Well a career is only one part of your life isn't it? You say you have 3 kids and a husband. Is he a good one? If so, your life is actually pretty good. I can see you would like your dream career too, and there's no reason why you can't work towards it. But is that the only thing 'missing', or is there more you haven't told us about? Because if your family life is good, then your title seems OTT. I'm wondering if there's more to it?

I am also a SAHM. I have qualifications but they are useless. I don't know what I want to do for work once the kids are at school, and would love to be in your position where you actually know what you want to do. That's half the battle! I suggest getting advice about how to access/train for your preferred role, either as a carer or midwife, and talk through the options with your husband to see how training or working could fit with your lives (he can tweak his role if needed). Make a plan. Even if it's "we can't manage this now, but in two years I will apply to X". A plan will really help.

Fuck me you're early 30s. That's quite a pity party for someone with a world of choice out there.
Contact you local FE college and see what's available, GCSEs in English, maths and a science could be a good start or a foundation vocational course. I'm the DM of two successful DSs who have ADHD. They took apprenticeships, the classroom doesn't suit everyone.
I also have friends who started training as nurses in their early 40s. They started working part-time in our local hospial as assistants who did meals, cleaned, etc. One is now a sister in A&E.

Blimey, you’re no age at all. You have managed to draft a post that is coherent and clearly sets out your position, I’ve come across many graduates who can’t do that.

what do you love doing? What career would you like? - you’re in a wonderful position of being able to start your career path at an age when you know yourself better, your career won’t be interrupted by pregnancy/young kids.

Visit a local college, get some GCSEs inc English and Maths behind you. Find out what qualifications you need to get the career you want. You can do this.

You haven’t wasted anything - you have 3 children. But now is the time for you. You’ll have 30 odd years of career ahead of you.

I’ll quote you some Iron Maiden
“So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
Realize you're living in the golden years”

never too late for anything as long as you’re drawing breath -you might just have to do things slightly differently.

Have look online at local colleges or adult education centres. Great place to start and go from there. I have a friend who gained a post graduate degree at 36 and re took her gcse maths in her later 20s. I also worked with someone who qualified as a midwife at 44.

My friend trained to be a teacher in her 40s, as others have said you are still young with over 30 working years ahead of you, if you want them.