do all beneficiaries have to be paid at the same time

Couldn't be further from the truth, my Auntie has made some bad property investments and is desperate to make up for that, hence why she has been so pushy about the money and manipulating my Grandma to not spend her own money on things , without sounding crass my brother and I are both fairly comfortable ( as are my parents) which is why the thought of inheritance doesn't particularly excite us.

So you'd rather the solicitor gets it through an increase in fees because you want to spite your aunt?

You and your mum can always donate your inheritance to a worthy cause that your grandmother would have liked. And you don't have to have anything to do with the woman after this.

Be a grown up

Just fill out the form and send it off and stop trying to create unnecessary drama on this. I bet the solicitor is shaking his/ her at this nonsense.

You're not going to achieve anything by delaying other than pissing everyone off.

OP I'm sorry for your loss and that you've had to see family member's true colours. It's very sad but fairly common unfortunately.
Delaying it on purpose isn't the way to go, just get it done and move on. I'd recommend distancing yourself from these kind of people.
I hope you're OK...

Your Gran wanted you and the others to have the money. Why are you going against her final wishes? It's disrespectful. Your feelings about your Aunt are irrelevant in respect of distribution of assets. All you are doing is running up extra costs.

I am very sorry for your loss.
But I don't see how refusing to sign the form will make things any better or that it will delay your aunt getting the money that your grandma wanted her to.
I would forget about your Aunt and just think that by signing the form and accepting the bequest you are doing what your grandma wanted you to do.
You could always buy something in her memory

Withholding the form won’t make any difference but will just reduce the estate each time they have to send a chasing letter (probably £100 a pop each).
Your GMs wishes will be carried out as she wanted, so don’t delay that.

Yes, just fill it in and have done. IMO you are making an emotional drama about nothing. You don’t have to spend the money - put it into savings or PBs and forget about it.

I don't think you are in a good head space. You are trying to punish your auntie for the death of her mum. It wasn't her fault.

Your auntie will not have been going anywhere with "an excited tone of voice" and is not being grabby, she is following the wishes of her mum. Your grandma appointed her as executor. You are preventing her from executing the will. Your grandma wanted your auntie to have some money. You are trying to prevent her from receiving it.

I know you are trying to take a moral stand in saying that you don't want or need the money, but by holding things up you are disrespecting the last wishes of your grandma. Return the form. Get the money and do something nice with it. Get away somewhere or buy a nice piece of jewellery you can wear every day and be reminded of her.

I get you are upset but you are behaving in the same way your aunt is with both of you making it about yourselves.

you actually have no idea how your aunt feels or if she does or does not need the money

People grieve in different ways she may just be being practical. That maybe her way if dealing with things

stop being so petty and sign the forms

I had this when a relative died, I didn't want their money like you I wished they'd spent it on themselves to make their life better. There was also other people that benefitted that I strongly believe shouldn't, but it was my relatives wish that they did so I respect that.
So I had the money and used it to make some parts of my life easier and to also have the once in a lifetime memories my relative should have had.

It seems to be you who is overly concerned about inheritance. You're saying money doesn't matter, however it's the entire purpose of your thread. Your Grandma chose to leave your Aunt an equal share, it wasn't your Aunt's decision, therefore your anger is entirely misdirected.
One could be forgiven for thinking you're annoyed at getting 1k while your Aunt is getting 70k...

One of the jobs of a grieving relative is to carry out their loved one's wishes in a timely and dignified manner.

Honestly - this. You're achieving nothing by shoving letters in a drawer and ignoring them. Just wasting other people's time and being irritating. Your grandma wanted you to have this money - spend the 2 mins it will take to pass on your details and focus on more positive aspects of your grandmother's life.

When my dad died I had two siblings who didn't attend the funeral (and has no contact other than xmas cards for a decade before - didn't even know he was ill or his wife had died). Zero help with clearing his home or sorting out the many things that needed to be done. No point getting annoyed about it - my other brother and I sorted it all out and passed on their rightful share to them as soon as we could.

You’re driving up the cost to the estate, so reducing what is paid to both your mum and aunt.
Delaying won’t make your gran proud, or bring her back, or achieve anything except add an extra job for the lawyer to charge for.

I know grief is hard but the only wishes you are delaying is that of your Grandmother.

You can disagree with her choice, but her will was HER will, and so by delaying it you are only delaying the carrying out of her final wishes.

Fill in the form and move on. If you don’t need or want the money, do something special with those who cared about her. Or give it to a charity in her name.

But don’t spitefully behave in this way and cause extra fees and admin for the lawyers. You can dislike her aunt and her influence but the will is the will and you’re only delaying that.

not justifying your aunt, but not everyone wants to be at a death bed, what is the point?

oh so and so died surrounded by family - so what? i don't want my family with me when i die and i don't want a funeral, i see no point, i'll be dead

One of the jobs of a grieving relative is to carry out their loved one's wishes in a timely and dignified manner.
Think about how many times since her death you have used the phrase 'what grandma would have wanted' - the casket, the service, the flowers, any charitable collection, what she wore, whether there was a wake, and on and on.
Now complete the final acts and allow her estate to be settled as she herself in her final testament requested. This is not the time for family aggro.

This feels like a classic case of cutting nose off to spite face here.

I appreciate you are still mourning your grandmother but will not help in the long run.

You're not making your grandmother's death more mourned in any sense by withholding the form. Just annoying the solicitor, who's only trying to do their job. Sorry for your loss.

By prolonging in not signing the documents and keeping her estate from being wound up all you're doing is giving away your Grandma's money to solicitors, which I'm sure is not what she'd want.

Once this is done you never have to associate with the aunt again.

Just sign the form and don’t be a dick. Your opinion on your aunt are irrelevant.

If you don't want the money donate it to charity.

@Trebor57 so have your mum & brother not filled the FOAs?
It's going to accumulate more solicitors fees.