How do you put your DH first?

53 replies

Avaricii · 10/01/2025 12:36

I may have had a bit of a rant at DH today that I don't feel like he ever puts me first. It's kids, him, work, other responsibilities, me.
And he said I don't put him first ever
I feel like I do. I think of him always. I listen to his e.g. need to be more healthy after a really meat heavy December. So I January so make sure that everything I cook is healthy and vegetarian.

When he has to go away for work, make sure everything that is his responsibility is covered (e.g. pick ups).

So I want him to feel heard (my feeling heard is a different issue) but I want to know how you think you make your DH feel special and important to you, ~when you have a FT job and 2 kids~

OP posts:

Catza · 10/01/2025 12:42

I listen to what he thinks it means. You might mean pairing his socks and cooking healthy meals is "putting him first" but for him it may well mean leaving him alone for an hour every evening to decompress and letting him eat a slice of pie without reminding him of his new year resolutions. If you want to know what he needs to feel like you put him first, then you need to ask him not us.

JimHalpertsWife · 10/01/2025 12:38

Well, dh is one of four people in our house so he can't always come first, and he has to just deal with that. However there are certain things we do for each other to show our love towards one another - cooking a preferred meal, picking up each others favourite drinks, remembering one said to the other "I'd like to try x or y" and buying it. Etc.

In what ways do you feel he is demonstrating to you that you are bottom of his priorities?

Kitchenspade · 10/01/2025 12:38

How does he put you first? Works both ways... no one can always come first. But you can be thoughtful and mindful

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