Page 2 | My hairdresser complains about everything

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 2025-01-10T11:50:29+00:00

I moved to a new area just over 2 years ago and since then I’ve switched hairdressers 5 times. I finally found one last summer, she cuts my hair perfectly but omg she constantly complains about everything… her kids, her husband, her life, her mother blah blah blah. Some of it is quite personal and I’m left thinking how can you share this with a client 😳 Yesterday I got every detail of her terrible Christmas and I left feeling really stressed. There’s no one to complain to because she is the owner of the salon. I walk away with a great cut but at the very least I feel drained, and at worst angry because as a client I don’t feel I should be subjected to this. I’d like to say something to her but not sure what because I don’t want to swap the ear bashing for an atmosphere, and I don’t want to move on again because she’s a skilled hairdresser.

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 17:05

Pluvia · 10/01/2025 15:19

There are some peculiar responses here, OP. Look at YeastExtract's. YE seems to think it would be rude of a client to ask for quiet. I wonder if YE is the London hairdresser I went to a couple of times who was great at cutting, but incredibly slow (because I think it gave her a longer chance to talk). She owned a smart-looking little salon but business was very slow, just a couple of clients a day. And I understood why.

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Tbh YE is on the attack, not pleasant at all, and I’ve reported.

OP posts:

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2025 16:26

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Not all hairdressers can cut curly hair. They think they can but can't do it properly. I was told by one that curly hair is no different to straight so I never went back. Why shouldn't OP change if they can't cut her hair?

I also understand why OP doesn't want to sit around waiting for the hairdresser if they are running late. I stopped going to a very good hairdresser because he seemed to think it was acceptable for me to wait up to an hour.

BlueSky2024 · 10/01/2025 16:13

Next time just say (in the nicest possible way) that you are following a very interesting podcast and you really need to hear the latest update, then just put your headphones in, if you do this a few times she will hopefully get the message

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 16:11

RedLightsStopSigns · 10/01/2025 15:46

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest Your “complaints” about previous stylists are all totally justified! I hate having my clients waiting even 5 minutes after their appointment time, so rude and unprofessional. I used to have a colleague who regularly ran an hour behind and it gave me anxiety just witnessing it. I also know that lots of hairdressers have no clue how to cut textured hair so I well believe they gave you a poodle cut 🙃

@Pluvia I tailor my amount and style/topic of conversation to the individual client. I have some clients who feel like having a relaxed chat with a close friend, which is amazing. But I also have people who get out their laptop, book or magazine and I do their hair in silence. I have some people who talk about the latest Netflix series, some who like to reminisce about 90s music, some who tell me about their grandkids or dogs, or how they travelled through Asia in the 80s.

If a client wants to moan at me - about their job, money worries, their broken boiler, annoying husband or their ill health, I will sympathise etc and act as a therapist. That’s fine as I’m the one being paid! I would never speak in a negative way or have a moan at a client ever! I mean, the odd throwaway comment about the weather being crap or something but generally I want the conversation to be upbeat and pleasant.

I have one or two clients that are VERY moany and it is draining but that’s their prerogative and it’s my job.

Thank you so much for this. I’ve had a few negative and a couple of very unpleasant responses on here which were not called for. I sometimes think certain people only use MN to be nasty. I appreciate your genuine feedback and support

OP posts:

IBlameTheDog · 10/01/2025 16:04

Ime, good hairdressers are like gold dust.

For the sake of a couple of hours and hair that you're pleased with, is suck it up.

Don't engage. Just nod, add the odd yes and no and be out of there with your lovely hair.

Maybe treat it like a long episode of eastenders? Something that makes you feel grateful for your own life.

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 16:03

Pluvia · 10/01/2025 15:19

There are some peculiar responses here, OP. Look at YeastExtract's. YE seems to think it would be rude of a client to ask for quiet. I wonder if YE is the London hairdresser I went to a couple of times who was great at cutting, but incredibly slow (because I think it gave her a longer chance to talk). She owned a smart-looking little salon but business was very slow, just a couple of clients a day. And I understood why.

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Yes, agree, some very peculiar responses. Unfortunately YE is clearly one of those users who is on MN for the purpose of trolling rather than offering help. She’s persisting in her posts to me, the most recent one that I am ‘silly’. Simply not a nice person.

OP posts:

BarrioQueen · 10/01/2025 16:02

I feel for you - moaners in life that talk at you are a drain. I think I'd leave and find someone else - because a good hair cut is not cheap and who wants to hear all that?I had a massage person at a spa start telling me her problems with clients (clients being late etc) and I was cross - in the end I said I have a headache. I think with some people once they have an 'in' they like to off load. When you are paying for it - that's no fun. I see going to the hairdresser as a treat. So I'd move. But it's a pain. Maybe try the ear plugs first??

lemmein · 10/01/2025 15:55

Or just pretend you can't hear her so she gets sick of repeating herself!

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:54

corvidconvo · 10/01/2025 14:08

If I were a more skilled conversationalist, I'd probably try to quickly acknowledge what she's said, then immediately steer away to another topic, but I'm guessing that if you were the type who could do that you'd already have done it.

I can think of a few things that might work once, but ultimately you're not compatible, and there's no way to change that. I'd probably start looking for someone else.

I don’t think compatibility is the issue here, I am a paying client, she is the service provider and it’s unprofessional of her to offload her personal and private life onto me.

OP posts:

lemmein · 10/01/2025 15:53

I hate hairdressers talking to me - I can't hear them with the noise of the salon and a hairdryer blasting near my ears. It's stressful trying to lipread through a mirror!

I think you'll have to find a different stylist OP - if she moans about everybody already she's unlikely to take any hint at piping down from you well

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 10/01/2025 15:52

She cuts your hair perfectly you say.

Amazing! I would switch off and say mmmm or oh dear to the litany of disaster.

Floralnomad · 10/01/2025 15:49

We have a moaning hairdresser , my adult daughter says she feels more like her therapist than a client , but she cuts hair nicely and we’ve been using her forever so just put up with her .

SeaShellsSanctuary180 · 10/01/2025 15:48

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:43

This…
“We are hardly talking about the end of a marriage where kids and a mortgage are involved”
Well forgive me but my understanding of MN is that users can reach out for help and advice on any topic. Whilst my basic issue doesn’t fit into the life changing quote you responded with, it was something I needed advice on and gratefully received from other MN users.
So are we all led to believe from your quote that unless we are losing our home or on the brink of relationship breakdown we cannot ask for advice? Sorry but you are very wrong and that is NOT what Mumsnet is about.

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You are proving the point of my first sentence.

Have a great weekend 🙂

RedLightsStopSigns · 10/01/2025 15:46

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest Your “complaints” about previous stylists are all totally justified! I hate having my clients waiting even 5 minutes after their appointment time, so rude and unprofessional. I used to have a colleague who regularly ran an hour behind and it gave me anxiety just witnessing it. I also know that lots of hairdressers have no clue how to cut textured hair so I well believe they gave you a poodle cut 🙃

@Pluvia I tailor my amount and style/topic of conversation to the individual client. I have some clients who feel like having a relaxed chat with a close friend, which is amazing. But I also have people who get out their laptop, book or magazine and I do their hair in silence. I have some people who talk about the latest Netflix series, some who like to reminisce about 90s music, some who tell me about their grandkids or dogs, or how they travelled through Asia in the 80s.

If a client wants to moan at me - about their job, money worries, their broken boiler, annoying husband or their ill health, I will sympathise etc and act as a therapist. That’s fine as I’m the one being paid! I would never speak in a negative way or have a moan at a client ever! I mean, the odd throwaway comment about the weather being crap or something but generally I want the conversation to be upbeat and pleasant.

I have one or two clients that are VERY moany and it is draining but that’s their prerogative and it’s my job.

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:45

TheStigarette · 10/01/2025 12:50

Be grateful it's just a haircut. My Mum talks like that all the time.

I just don't think she likes anyone!

Poor you 😱

OP posts:

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:43

SeaShellsSanctuary180 · 10/01/2025 14:09

The irony is your responses don't sound much different to her dramas.

You have two choices
Live with it or go elsewhere. We are hardly talking about the end of a marriage where kids and a mortgage are involved

This…
“We are hardly talking about the end of a marriage where kids and a mortgage are involved”
Well forgive me but my understanding of MN is that users can reach out for help and advice on any topic. Whilst my basic issue doesn’t fit into the life changing quote you responded with, it was something I needed advice on and gratefully received from other MN users.
So are we all led to believe from your quote that unless we are losing our home or on the brink of relationship breakdown we cannot ask for advice? Sorry but you are very wrong and that is NOT what Mumsnet is about.

OP posts:

Idontjetwashthefucker · 10/01/2025 15:37

@yeastextract stop being a dick, you seem to be looking for reasons to have a go at her when she's done fuck all wrong. Lay off!

tulippa · 10/01/2025 15:33

Do you think she's giving the same monologues to all her other clients too? So going through a constant moan loop all day everyday? 🫤

Pluvia · 10/01/2025 15:31

Sorry, Yeast Extract: it was Starlight who said it would be rude for a client to ask a hairdresser to work without talking.

That said, you've been pretty rude to OP.

@RedLightsStopSigns it's interesting to have a hairdresser's pov. I've certainly encountered a number of big personalities and women, in particular, with no filter and no need to breathe between sentences. It was why my quiet male hairdresser was so popular for all those years until he gave in to the music and bantz crowd.

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:30

RedLightsStopSigns · 10/01/2025 15:24

I’m a hairdresser and think this behaviour is awful! I would honestly move on to another stylist. I wouldn’t want to go to a stylist who was like this.

A lot of hairdressers (not me!) are very arrogant and also sensitive and I would be worried if you did say something she would take offence and then give you a shit haircut out of spite. I’ve known hairdressers like this and thankfully my colleagues now are all lovely people. I don’t mean to speak ill of my profession but a lot of hairdressers are horrible 😐

😱 thank you for this, I appreciate your honesty. Yes I picked up on this behaviour from a hairdresser I had who left the salon and went mobile. I stuck with her and she came to my home, her attitude was appalling outside of the salon, and the cut was no longer the standard previously given and I let her go.

OP posts:

yeastextract · 10/01/2025 15:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RedLightsStopSigns · 10/01/2025 15:24

I’m a hairdresser and think this behaviour is awful! I would honestly move on to another stylist. I wouldn’t want to go to a stylist who was like this.

A lot of hairdressers (not me!) are very arrogant and also sensitive and I would be worried if you did say something she would take offence and then give you a shit haircut out of spite. I’ve known hairdressers like this and thankfully my colleagues now are all lovely people. I don’t mean to speak ill of my profession but a lot of hairdressers are horrible 😐

Original poster

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Correction, I was asked for the REASONS why I moved on from previous hairdressers, so I obliged. They are not complaints. Glad they provided you with a source of amusement though.
I was led to believe that MN users are here to support rather than castigate regardless of how big or small the issue is, and for the most part users have done that and I’m grateful.
There’s always going to be the occasional person like you though… isn’t there. Sad.

OP posts:

luckylavender · 10/01/2025 15:22

Depends on how fussy you are about your hair and it sounds like you are. If the hair cut is what you want just suck it up. It doesn't last long.

Pluvia · 10/01/2025 15:19

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 10/01/2025 15:00

I was asked for the reasons why I moved on from previous hairdressers so I obliged, they are not complaints… they are ‘reasons’. Then you jump on that post with this… “that’s quite a catalogue of…. complaints”
I came on MN for help and support, which I has been gratefully received from quite a few kind users. If YOU can’t be kind or helpful then don’t respond please.

Show quote history

There are some peculiar responses here, OP. Look at YeastExtract's. YE seems to think it would be rude of a client to ask for quiet. I wonder if YE is the London hairdresser I went to a couple of times who was great at cutting, but incredibly slow (because I think it gave her a longer chance to talk). She owned a smart-looking little salon but business was very slow, just a couple of clients a day. And I understood why.