My hairdresser complains about everything

Next time if she starts could you just gently stop her and say something along the lines of "don't wish to be rude, but I've things on my mind, and I'm sorry you've got issues but so have I". Or that type of thing.

Could you leave an anonymous review somewhere she would see it?

How great a hairdresser they are etc but you find the oversharing a bit too much and you feel drained afterwards instead of refreshed.

That’s awful! I remember once asking a client if they had any siblings and the reply was that she’d had a brother but he’d died. I felt absolutely terrible and learned my lesson. I always stick to very general questions now.

Could you ask for a "silent appointment"? These are actually a thing for clients who don't want to spend the whole appointment engaged in idle chit chat or being asked about holiday/weekend plans! I much prefer a silent appointment.
My mum used to go the same hairdresser for years. During one appointment when asked "how's your mum?", my mum explained that her mum had recently passed away. Hairdresser offered condolences but then, at next appointment few weeks later, asked "how's your mum?"..

No suggestions unfortunately but just to empathise, it is so hard finding a hairdresser than can competently cut curly hair and I’m not at all surprised you found trouble with it, I also find this.

I found someone who was amazing with my hair but then had difficulty for a while getting out and had a mobile hairdresser, it went back to being a bush and was awful, I am very pleased to be back with the person who can cut it well. Prior to finding her, I hadn’t ever had someone (and I’m in my thirties) who cut my hair in a way that acknowledged and worked with the hair rather than against it (think excessive straightening which is unachievable on a daily basis and only lasted until there dared to be a single drop of humidity).

Ive seen some responses don’t appreciate how difficult it can be to find someone trained with curly hair, so I wanted to show my support! Some of the answers have been good, hope everything works out for you.

Tell her up front you love having your hair done as you desperately need some relaxing 'me' time, can I just sit quietly today and enjoy the pampering? If she manages it thank her profusely.

Take a book

I would say to her,
"You should write this all down, it would make a great follow-up to 'One Foot in the Grave' with all your hilarious disasters."

and then give her some further suggestions that she could include, for example;

'Grandad had a puncture in one tyre of his wheelchair and spent the whole day going round in circles.'

For quite a lot of the appointment you are at the sink or under the drier. For the cutting time I often say, I am going to sit quietly whilst you cut, I hope you don’t think it is rude but I absolutely love the opportunity for quiet, it is the only really peaceful time I have.
I am the opposite to you I find myself chatting none stop and come out feeling embarrassed that I have been so lively. I think the quiet request is taken kindly though regardless of who is doing the talking.

Perhaps YeastExtract should have a name change to YeastInfection bc they’re an irritating c……

I had to leave my hairdresser because she was permanently obsessed with talking about food. She wasn't overweight, in fact at the time I probably was but she was obsessively talking about calories and oh I don't want to be fat for holiday or slimming world this or blah blah blah. I would be in the hair dressers for 4 hours each time and it was the same topic of conversation every single time. I felt like I was paying a lot of money to come out feeling stressed each time. I left and have never looked back. I feel quite sad for her really but I do wonder if she literally just talks to everybody all day everyday about it

I moved 2 years ago too and have had similar hairdressing experiences, it's dire!.
I'm In a rural area and the general standard of hairdressing is low. Used to live in a city where yes, lots to choose from, not when you're in the Countryside.
If she's really good, I'd stay, but when she starts get your phone out snd say " sorry, I've got to reply to this email " and appear always distracted if she tries to chat. It is Unprofessional, good hairdressers actually ask if you'd rather sit quietly.

how often do you have your hair cut?

I'd honestly find another one.
She sounds a bit of a drain

Good hairdressers are like gold dust I agree but she shouldn't be using you as a captive audience
Hairdressers should be able to " read the room" and be sensitive to their clients.
Could you take a book or some" work" you need to catch up with urgently?
Say " I hope you don't think I'm unsociable, but I have urgent work" etc etc
If you want to find another( I think I would) could you take photos. " to show a friend" for a new hairdresser to see

This is most unusual. Ask any hairdresser or beautician , the job in hand is easy enough it’s all the chat and overloading problems from clients that are so draining !!!

I had to leave my last hairdresser who kept pausing to show me videos of her children. She then paused for 5 minutes to sort out her bacon sandwich. To top it all off she told me every single detail of how her ex abused her 3 year old. I left very upset and that has stayed with me ever since. Completely ruined my day.

I now have a lovely guy who does my hair. He does talk and ask a lot of questions and I would like a bit more silence but I find it quite awkward. I feel like if the mirrors were not so large it wouldn't feel awkward!

Personally, if she's a good hairdresser with reasonable prices I'd stick with it. I have really struggled to find a decent hairdresser after moving house- the good ones are all very busy / fully booked constantly and the ones left are either extortionate or crap. I'd make non-committal noises and think about something else!

The podcast suggestion is a good one, if you decide to remain with this hairdresser.

I hope that none of what you describe is ever used to put anyone at risk, hopefully when you are there very few people if any can overhear.