People who think mat leave is a holiday

How has this turned into a competition on who has it the hardest? God forbid a woman is a having a hard time with sleep deprivation, some saint here woke up every hour AND went to work. OP should be grateful for an occasional 4 hour sleep. LOL. Sure.

YANBU OP but just shake it off. There's plenty more insensitive comments coming your way. It's hard, I never thought stuff like this would get to me too but they do. You gotta move on though, for your own sanity.

Being a mum I still haven't had the luxury of most than a 4 hour stretch of sleep since that night

Well yes... but when you're at home during the day that's much more doable.

Compared to when you're back at work; your baby isn't sleeping plus you have to function in the workplace. I couldn't afford the luxury of long maternity leaves (no maternity pay other than SMP) so had to go back to work while we were still in the depths of feeding through the night. It was not at all easy.

Being a mum I still haven't had the luxury of most than a 4 hour stretch of sleep since that night. No annual leave or weekends.

Four hours? That's a luxury! My DS woke every 1-2 hours until he was 2.5 years old. I went back to full time work at 7 months old. I'd have given my left tit for a four hour stretch in the first four years of his life!

You need to stop referring to it as a job OP, you sound really resentful.

I can see why his comments stung, OP, but I think you’re best to try and let it go! No one really has an insight into anyone else’s circumstances. Unless he’s generally a horrible person, I’d presume he was being clueless and clumsy rather than malicious.

TBH, perhaps I’d find it easier to shake as I’m lucky to count myself in the camp who have found periods of mat leave to be a dream! It suits me well and I genuinely find it so much more easier and more fun than working, even though I love my job. Getting paid to hang about with a couple of tiny pals all day and do whatever we fancied!

Juggling children whilst being back at work is a whole different ballgame and I often feel some judgement from colleagues who don’t have children, but as time goes by I try and take it less personally. I know that they aren’t trying to hurt me, and I know that they probably have stuff going on in their lives that I can’t relate to!

I felt it was living the dream as it was so much less stressful than my job. I much preferred living with the chaos / tiredness than being in work - unfortunately I had to go back!

Personally, mat leave was hell on earth for me. Important for my DC, but I was gagging to go back to work. I just felt like a machine with no autonomy functioning on no sleep with a constantly screaming baby. Now I'm back at work and she's enjoying her little life, I enjoy mine and we love our time together. Give me the work/childcare juggle over mat leave any day. I felt like I got my sense of self back. But j also do enjoy my job and have a flexible employer

If it helps, I'm childless and look like someone has scrapped me out the bin.

I’m on mat leave now with a 4 month old and my 2 and a half year old and it’s brilliant. It’s absolutely mental and exhausting and I don’t get a minute- but honestly give me this any day over work 🤷‍♀️ dreading going back!!

Exactly what I was thinking. She is glamourous, you sound jealous. She is nice, but you feel "a vibe". Then you are positively happy if there's any indication she might be overwhelmed.

You don’t sound very nice. Woman finds it easier to look put together pre dc shocker. Btw I’m a mother 24/7 and go out to work too. Being a SAHP is less of a juggle in many ways (I’ve done both).

Fair enough if you don't think it's worth a try.

The vast majority of babies don't sleep 7-7 without a feed at night though!(90%+) so it's one of the most obvious reasons why the wakes may have increased.

Lolll me too.

Depends on your baby.

Is this your first? Generally the second isn't like the first.

Reflux babies are a whole different ball game. Like actual torture. Work colleague was a clueless twat. You really can't explain to anyone who hasn't been through it so don't even try. Their opinions are not in any way important.

Good luck with your baby getting the message of no night feeds any more! Took 15m with my first (bottles) and 2.5 with my second (boobs).
The 4m/8kg thing is just the age where their body is physically capable of waiting without it damaging them, but what they will want to or are likely to do.
I think if that's your expectation, then you're setting yourself up for a lot of frustration as for most babies it's very unrealistic.

None of my three DC ever woke for a feed after three months, lots of babies don’t wake every hour or two.

Tbh I loved mat leave both times round - even when I had 2 under 2. It was still easier than my job. I was in control of how my days went and mostly just hung out with friends. Yes I wasn’t getting loads of sleep but it’s a very different pace of life from going out to work every day.

He made a stupid comment. It’s the kind of flippant thing people say to women on mat leave. It’s mildly irritating but YABU to still be fixating on it weeks later.

Is your DP doing enough to help you OP? The DC aren’t solely your responsibility 24/7; neither is the domestic load.

MAT leave was the hardest year of my life. I love being a mum but there are days where it can be so tough & you have no choice but to soldier on despite hardly any sleep. I found it quite lonely too.
Going back to work part time is like a holiday for me.

Honestly, have you tried feeding? It might give you some longer stretches?

Hourly wakes aren't unusual, but it's unusual (IMO) for them not to want food if they wake at the age, and sorry it's very unusual for a 4m old to not have any milk at night.

It might be worth a try? It could be the he's repeatedly waking because he's hungry.

Oof, that sounds tough!

When you said your ‘3 month old hadn't slept for longer than 3 hour stints overnight for 2 weeks,’ I read that as you thinking that three hours was a short stint! Must have mis-read it!