Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel a little upset no-one has asked about my love life since separation/divorce

90 replies

Oodiks · 09/01/2025 23:21

I was 39 when we got together, and I'll be 60 this year, but people say I look younger and it's starting to bother me that no-one ever asks if I'm seeing anyone, thinking about seeing anyone, interested in seeing someone...

Is almost 60 just too old to bother?

YABU - Of course you're too old to bother with 'dating' and all that...
YANBU - Of course you're not too old to find romance again...

OP posts:
MyDeepZebra · 09/01/2025 23:37

I'd be furious if people started asking me about my love life. At the very least,
I'd see them as uncouth/lacking in manners. Surely most people with good social skills don't want to pry around a sensitive topic these days?

If you want to date, date. You don't need anyone's approval or permission. And you can bring it up in conversation if you want to.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 09/01/2025 23:35

I don't think it is an age thing, I think people assume you would volunteer the information if you wanted them to know.

Nobody asks me about my private life, and I would find it intrusive if people started (I'm mid-40s).

TwattyMcFuckFace · 09/01/2025 23:33

I don't know why you're equating people not asking about your personal love life, with possibly being too old to date?

Have you had many dates?

Are you actively looking for a partner and if so, have you told those closest to you?

Wakeywake · 09/01/2025 23:32

You're not too old to date if you want to, but you're old enough for people to not bother you anymore with stupid questions that are none of their business. I'd take that as a win.

MinorGodhead · 09/01/2025 23:30

HeddaGarbled · 09/01/2025 23:27

People aren’t asking because a lot of people would find that intrusive and maybe upsetting not because they don’t think it’s possible. I can just picture the Mumsnet thread “Why do people think it’s OK to ask personal questions about my love life?”

Exactly this.

HeddaGarbled · 09/01/2025 23:30

I don’t think you should ask younger people if they’re seeing anyone either. That’s information to be volunteered not enquired into.

Cryingatthegym · 09/01/2025 23:28

I don't know why people aren't asking you, but of course you're not too old if that's what you want to do. You don't need anyone else's permission.

I have the opposite problem, people constantly trying to get me on the apps etc when I feel like I never want to touch another man with a bargepole in my life.

TwistedWonder · 09/01/2025 23:27

I’m the same age and I would absolutely hate people asking if I’m seeing anyone. And it’s not a question I’d ever ask my similar age single friends.

I think if anyone wants to tell you who they’re seeing, they will volunteer that when they’re ready.

HeddaGarbled · 09/01/2025 23:27

People aren’t asking because a lot of people would find that intrusive and maybe upsetting not because they don’t think it’s possible. I can just picture the Mumsnet thread “Why do people think it’s OK to ask personal questions about my love life?”

Paua · 09/01/2025 23:27

I don’t think anyone is going to ask that question first without you hinting the situation to them regardless of age, if you’re close enough to people to discuss it, they assume you’d tell them “oh I’ve started dating” “oh I’m looking to start dating”

WhereIsMyLight · 09/01/2025 23:27

I wouldn’t want to ask an acquaintance what is going on in their love lives. I trust my friends and family would tell me when they are comfortable telling me and when there is something to tell (which is doesn’t seem like there is).

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 09/01/2025 23:26

Why should people ask about your love life after your divorce? Confused

It's nothing to do with anyone else. And quite honestly, I doubt that anyone cares about how much shagging someone else is doing!

And your poll questions don't match up with the question in your opening post! You ask 'AIBU to be upset no-one has asked about my love life since my divorce' in your title and opening post, but then ask 'AIBU to be dating at my age?'

.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/01/2025 23:26

The voting options aren’t fair.

How long have you been divorced? I’ve been divorced, plenty of friends and family have too, I wouldn’t pry into something like this and would wait to be told if they were seeing anyone.

If you aren’t but wish you were wouldn’t you feel sad or offended to have people asking you?

Original poster
Oodiks · 09/01/2025 23:23

Ablondiebutagoody · 09/01/2025 23:22

Are you getting much action?

Absolutely none, but that's not the point

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 09/01/2025 23:22

Are you getting much action?