AIBU to feel a little upset no-one has asked about my love life since separation/divorce

Unless I was a very very close friend with someone, I wouldn’t dare to ask about their love life at a certain point. People consider the most basic questions highly intrusive these days. Friends might be worried to imply you’re lesser than if you don’t have a man, or assume you don’t want it etc etc. Mention it yourself if you want to talk about it.

Asking someone about their love life unbidden is rude, in my opinion. If you're single, there's no appropriate honest answer. Do you really want to hear either "just fine, I'm cheerfully working my way through Tinder for daily one-night stands" or "actually, it's been a six-year drought and I'm going insane with the mixture of horniness and self-loathing"? No, you do not. And you do not want to put someone in the position of having to answer.

That goes for anyone at any stage of life but especially someone who's just divorced, when I imagine it's an even more sensitive topic than usual.

"How's your love life" is both judgmental and meddling. If you want to talk about it, it's on you to bring it up first. Usually the green-light signal that it's an open topic of discussion is that you discuss dating in the abstract, and if someone wants to bring their personal life into it they can.

This. I wouldnt ask someone about their love life if I knew they had got divorced - it implies they should be out dating again and they might not be ready for that which could be hurtful and intrusive.

I would be happy to discuss it with them if they brought it up but YABU to be annoyed that people arent asking you what could be very intrusive questions for many. When I was single I used to hate people asking "have you met someone yet?" - it was really irritating.

Oh, and of course you can date at your age, lots of people do.

I wouldn’t ask because I get pissed off with people always asking me, and me having to share my private dating info, it’s no one’s business!
If you want to share, share, but to expect to be asked about it is odd tbh!

Maybe they don't respect him very much and had no compunction about it making him feel a bit uncomfortable but they care for you too much to ask the same of you. It's really quite a personal question and asking could make you feel uncomfortable for a whole range of reasons. It's a bit like asking a married childless couple, "Do you not want kids then?" when in fact they've had the pain of multiple cycles of unsuccessful IVF or successive miscarriages.

OP, I know someone in your position and have thought of asking why they aren't in a relationship but have been too chicken in case they think I'm interested! 😂

P.S. You're never too old to find someone!

😂😂😂

Possibly people think they’re overstepping by asking op. If my dm (she’s a bit older than you granted) became single I wouldn’t assume she was interested in dating again.

If you’ve recently separated people may think your grieving the relationship and it’s too soon.

What? Im 62 and I wouldn't appreciate anybody asking me about my love life.
It's surely not the kind of thing you go around asking people 😂

Maybe because sometimes people can be sensitive if they are single and don't want to be? They probably assume you'd tell them if there was anything to tell

I wouldn't want to know what someone was getting up to, very unladylike to ask.

Ask her.

I would never ask a friend about their love life (whether they were 20 or 70), unless I knew for certain they were seeing someone. I think it's quite unpleasant to ask someone you think is single "How's your love life?". It feels like a judgement. Like it's somehow wrong or sad not be getting any action.
If, however, my friend told me they were seeing someone, then I'd ask how it was going.

I was widowed at 60 - not quite the same, I know, but I wouldn't expect anyone to be nosey enough to ask about my love life at any age. I found it tedious when it happened when I was a teenager.

I'm early 40's. I had a bad break up last year. Noone asks me about my love live either. For a while people would suggest online daring I shot that down pretty quick. I think it was because I was very sad for a while. They thought dating would cheer me up. What I needed was to clear my head and adjust to life on my own. Now I'm happy all the time and getting on with my life noone asks. There not trying to help me fill a void. I think they know I will give them any updates.

Another one who doesn’t ask anyone about their love life. I assume if they want to share then they will.
As to why they asked your ex but haven’t asked you, how would anyone except your aunts know the answer to that?

I wouldn’t ask any divorced person that question regardless of sex or age.

Your Aunt was rude to a man she presumably doesn’t like very much.

If someone wants to tell me they are seeing someone I assume they will.

You're not too old to date but you are too old to be whining about this.

It’s not something I would ask people.

You also ask if nearly 60 is too old to bother. Lots of people start new relationships in their fifties onwards (and friends of ours have just married and are in their fifties).

Well perhaps her ex is an arsehole who she knew would behave in front of others or she just wanted a bit of emotional support. Is there an age limit on having feelings?

You are not too old to date, but yabu to expect to be asked about it.

What a strange view! I'm in my 60s, divorced, been on my own for many years. I don't expect anyone to ask me whether I'm seeing anyone, however close to me they are. It's none of their business....if I want to tell anyone, I will, without having to be asked.

If you want to change your own situation and date someone, only you can do that. Feel free to do so and get yourself out there.

If that's not the issue and not part of your question, well, as others have said, people don't want to intrude by asking such personal questions. And most aren't bothered enough to ask anyway.

Does it actually matter?