Estranged son asking for large amount of money

What mistakes was it you made, and apologised for? I'm also no contact with my mother and she will tell all and sundry that she has no idea why. It's very common with abusers and toxic people. I'm not calling you either, I'm just saying that I would like to hear his side.

Your relationship with your son sounds almost exactly like mine. Not seen or heard from him for 5 years. He was very emotionally bullying towards me and like you he demanded my inheritance when my Dad died. He said I didn’t need it yet he only works a few hours each week despite having excellent qualifications. Don’t give him a penny and make sure you cut him out of your Will.

This makes no sense.

In OP you said:

The fact we are estranged means I have no close family now. Things like adapting to Christmas alone

So how can this be true if you have a daughter you have a good relationship with? Sorry if that has already been asked and answered.

More fool you, frankly.

What does this mean?

This. Unless more is to come and OP acknowledges some dreadful behaviour on their part I think the son has a cheek.

Did he call asking?

I would have laughed and hung up the phone.

Have a brother exactly like that. His truth is the only truth and the sense of entitlement is unreal. The world owes him. Likes to tell everyone around him how to live what to do. It's his way or no way. Tell him where to go. If he can walk past you in the street and blank you, ignore you until he wants something. Tell him exactly where to go

No he inst entitled and make sure you've made a Will!!

He is not entitled to anything. Use the money to make your life more comfortable.

I think you have been more than fair. My parents have both inherited large amounts of money and not shared very much of it at all. I've never asked them (or anyone - except a bank) for large sums of money, I don't blank either of my parents in the street, but I don't expect them to help me with a lump sum towards my deposit either. It's nice to say I did it all on my own. I guess everyone has different ways of doing things, but like I say, you've been more than fair.

Soonenough mentioned getting the money when they are dead . No way ,let someone else who treats you with respect have it . Sort your Will and don’t look back . I have family experience of this situation and some people are toxic. Wishing you well, try to surround yourself with people who like you not your cash . Doesn’t need to be blood relatives. You wouldn’t tolerate this of an ex friend so let it them loose as they have you .

This. FGS. Don’t give him a penny. I would rather leave it to a cats home that give him anything.

I would say no to any money at this point.
We are estranged from my sd and wouldn't give her a penny.
It won't make him talk to you and you'll be hurt all over again

No way would I give him money if he’s estranged and can walk past you in the street.

There is no way in hell I would give him the money. Nothing will change in your relationship with him, and he will see it as his right. Do not give him the money. Tell him he doesn’t get to treat you like that and then expect a hand out. Tell him if he’s nice to you for the next seven years, you might consider it then!

In my experience nothing is ever enough, and boundaries have to be drawn. In my case questions were asked to other family members about contents of my parents will which showed clearly that money would be shared equally between us children. Some of has been used to buy now estranged DC a house where she is living rent free for the indefinite future. However we are leaving it to other family members in the next generation , and if it is sold, money divided equally..to include DC if she is still alive. I think this thread is important and we get a good picture from all sides.

Sorry OP, I think this was a mistake, as he'll likely come back wanting more, now that you've shown him he only has to ask. I hope to be proved wrong, but I guess only time will tell.

If you honestly have done nothing to warrant his behaviour than do not give him a penny !

I forgot to ask, how do dd and ds get on? And dd and exH?

So he’s 75%down on what he expected? Has he responded.

I think that’s very generous under the circumstances and still sensible protecting you to old age

You have done an honourable thing, op, and I feel it is right and fair. Now you feel lighter and can move on with confidence.

I do hope you go out and stay near your daughter for a little while, and at home can build bridges with your son but, if not, you've done your bit.

Good luck.

Hope your son appreciates it and ye can build bridges, good luck

It's your decision to make, OP, and what matters most is that you're comfortable with it, but ffrom the sound of things you're in for a disappointment if you expect a better relationship with DS after sending 25% of what he wanted

To be clear I'm NOT suggesting you should have sent more - I'm one of those who advocated paying nothing - but try not to be hurt if instead of appreciation you just get more nastiness

Think that is a perfect solution . Don't know what age you are but absolutely you do need to prepare for your own ongoing needs . With daughter abroad and son being uninvolved you need to be able to provide for yourself. The only thing you should relay to your daughter is that you would welcome any reconciliation with your son .