Estranged son asking for large amount of money

Absolutely not! Cheeky bugger!

Walks past you in the street but now demands money? He's insane and he would be getting told to piss off

I'd probably use the money to emigrate to Australia, if they'd have me. If not, then to spend as much time there as possible.

Tell your "D"S to naff off.

good grief.

your inheritance should be for you to enjoy such as holidays, events with friends and go to Australia to see your daughter. And in Australia pay for your daughter to go around and visit places and get accomodation with you. Pop some into a retirement plan for yourself. you had conversations with your daughter who in her kindness discussed this with your son. If he has children pass it to them. If you have it when you hit pension age you will get taxed. See what your daughter "needs" in Australia e.g car /small property deposit/ debts paid.

Then pop a small amount into a high interest account for your son (but your daughter does not need to be aware of this arrangement) it might pay some mortgage off for him. At a later date he may come back to you for a genuine reason not based on his expectation of money from you then you can give it to him. So you are not obligated to give it to anybody and you are not saying "No" to anybody.

So completely out of the blue all you get is a message asking for you to give him money for a house deposit. No “hope your ok” or even “lets agree to disagree on X”. No, you would give it and never see him again. The inheritance is not for him, its for you

Agree

WTF your pov is completely toxic! Abusive, controlling and toxic people, especially parents commonly use money as a source of control. Buying him back, which is what you’re suggesting is absolutely toxic!

Tell him to fuck off

It sounds like you need the money yourself. He can go and earn his own and wait his turn for his inheritance.
I would spend it on what you want - trips to Australia sound like a good way to spend it. Or you might want it to supplement your pension.
Make a will leaving whatever is left equally to your two children.

You can’t win someone back with money and if they say that you can it’s a scam

No. He's chosen to go no contact.

I’m confused as to what the dilemma is. He ignores you in the street yet you’re considering giving him money?! Tell the entitled little git to sod off

i think it would depend on a few things, how much you have and if you have promised him something. It way help mend your relationship.
he definitely doesn’t just decide he’s entitled to something and if he’s only contacted you to ask for money, that’s awful and he doesn’t deserve any help, never mind a deposit for a house.

He wouldn't be getting a penny from me. He has every right to go no contact but you have every right to not then financially help him. I wouldn't even think twice about this. He isn't entitled to anything and if he continued to be no contact throughout my life I'd not even leave him anything in my will. Especially when the money came from your father who he upset.

Please use it to make your own life better going forwards.
Yes to Australia and winter sun in Europe.
Your father would want that.

You could shut questions down flat by replying something along the lines of “the financial adviser recommended the money be assigned to my pension, it’s been tied up in long term non-liquid investments for retirement” - or similar, to just completely shut the conversation down.
(It prob won’t be invested - but that's what you can say).

@Friartruckster you don’t owe your children anything. You don’t owe a child or any human any of your inheritance especially when they have behaved so poorly.

you give him this money and he will have no reason to continue a relationship with you as you will have served your purpose. He’s only using you as a quick way to build up a house deposit.

Meep the money your dad left you as it enables you to live a better life and visit your daughter.

your son may inherit from you and his father in years to come and that will have to be enough.

the gall of him!!

maybe…But you don’t know him, you don’t know what he’ll do.

not to dissimalr ut my nephew moved n with is fater who is a comeplte narc, rarely talks to my sister unless its to ask for money

no bak story his father turne him against her an uses money as a weapon

so no dont give him it

If this were the other way around and YOU were asking HIM for money for a house deposit, what do you think he would say?

Please don't give him a penny. Use your money to bring yourself security in the future. I'm sure it's what your father would have wanted.

States is entitled to money I have inherited, set aside for him

No, he is not "entitled" to your inheritance. He may want it, but that's not the same thing.

If you give him the money I suspect it won't change a thing between you two. You'll remain estranged.

This is obviously a very painful situation for you, but personally I would not give him the money, I'd secure my own retirement. Good luck.

Just ignore his request.

You'll still be estranged if you give him money ( which he is NOT entitled to). You will just be poorer and sadder and even more hurt.

He's quite the cheeky fucker isn't he.

It is your money and you should enjoy it.