To consider not taking our 19 and 20 yr old on holiday this year

They need to be working over the summer to earn some money. It's really that simple.

What a rediculous generalisation.
Mine are not entitled in the slightest. They know exactly where every penny comes from and know how lucky they are to have what we have.
Nor "should" every student be working, Mine are busy enough with their course, their extra curriculum activities, their volunteering and any free time they have spent with friends. Ive no interest in making them manage a job as well. Time enough for that,.

There has to be a point when you stop funding holidays and when the become adults at 18 is the perfect time either bite the bullet and stop or you will find yourself still funding them at 30.

You wouldn’t be doing them any favours by letting them think luxuries like holidays just fall out of other people’s wallets.

Exactly, @SezFrankly Of course parents like to treat their adult children sometimes, but always paying for their holidays shouldn't be an expectation.

You don't have an unlimited stream of money coming in and your children are grown up. They'll manage fine without a free holiday. They can sort out something cheap and fun with their friends.

Of course it's not unreasonable. I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if my parents went away without me and my sibling when I was that age. In fact I think they did IIRC

I’ve pressed the wrong button 🤯

Even if they paid their own way, it is not unreasonable to expect over 18 yr old adults to pay for their trip, if they want to accompany you.

I have made contributions to DSS’s and DSD travel arrangements, if they needed a little help but it should be the exception and not expected.

You wouldn’t be doing them any favours by letting them think luxuries like holidays just fall out of other people’s wallets. You’ll end up with horribly spoiled entitled adult children who’ll be universally disliked and have no friends. And who’d want that for they child 😬

I think at that age it's normal for them to go on holiday separately from the family. Every few years it's nice to get together for a family holiday and you may wish to pay for that while they are still establishing themselves.
But not every year.

It is fine to not take them.

Your DC seem to have very little idea of how hard you work and how much everything costs you.
You are not doing them any favours if you keep allowing these behaviours.
I am all for supporting kids through Uni, treats, helping them to get on any ladder they choose if you
can afford it.
Your DC should want to do their own thing, earn some money, and move towards independence.
If they are spending £40 on a food run with you as a taxi service they have no motivation to do anything differently.
You and your DH should have your holiday, it’s important to have a break.
I am not hard-hearted at all, but to be prepared for the real world the sooner you learn to have some independence the better. Parents can always be on-hand to support, but at 19 and 20 you should be working even if you are studying.
A memory: saving up from my summer supermarket job to go on a cheap crappy holiday. The place was horrible, we didn’t have much spending money…
it was brilliant!

Don’t you finally want a couples holiday anyway ? You’ve earned it

sorry for the me-rail, meant to add that OP is not being unreasonable at all. If it's getting on your wick paying for everything, don't!

I've just booked a holiday cottage for June with 21 and 19 year old dc. 21 y.o. is autistic, lives at home and would otherwise never get a holiday. 19 year old has plenty of friends/other offers but still likes to spend time with us - and long may that continue tbh. I expect every year to be the last, but so far it hasn't been.

I didn't at 20 but I have a completely different relationship with my own 20 yr old and will happily holiday together

Have you asked them, do you want to come on holiday with us ? We choose where and you pay half and spending money.
I bet it’s a NO and maybe they will be arranging a house party as we speak

We go sans enfants the last few years now dh and i, my college going 2 are 20 and 22 and havent taken them the last 2 years, about 4 holidays. We took them every year for 25 years, my eldest is 27, so they havent done without.
I also did some weekends away with them, Taylor in paris was my treat for xample, i love that i can and we have a great time.
Mine are to busy in college tbh to go with us now, we are off in Feb again and they have classes so thats that anyways. They dont have jobs and we fund them, so they know not to ask to come lol. But Id have no issue taking them somewhere, so long as DH and I still get away on our own.
In your case, id just book it and say, oh BTW dad and i are away next month, fee the cat ok? you dont need permission to do it, and its not unreasonable at all.

That's so lovely, I'd still be the same!

Probs doesnt help, but im paying for my DS17 to come on hols with us 5 times this year, just enjoying it while he wants to come away if im honest!

DS18 wont come on 3 of them as his GF isnt invited to those as they too expensive!

Even if they were working really hard you wouldn't be unreasonable. Your adults and you have raised your children, have as many holidays as you like without them.

You need to withdraw funds, stop enabling them and bugger off on a luxury holiday.

Then they can't "refuse hours" and will have to get jobs to support their lifestyles.

While you sip cocktails in the Maldives, enjoy ☺️

Gosh, how old are you if your parents are 18?😁

Time to get real. They need to save up for luxuries like holidays like the rest of us! They're both adults now.

My eldest is 17 and has a part time job with the local authority and enjoys it. Off sick at the moment though but wants to get working again so he can save up for his next holiday. He has to buy any stuff himself like hard drives for his computer or driving lessons. We aren't doing that for him.

Paid for my 20/21 year old at Uni son to come on a mega family holiday with us this year. He was annoying and whiney and I regretted it. However his 17/18 year old brother was pefectly behaved and enjoyed the experience!

Deffo save your money and enjoy a holiday alone. Doesn’t have to be the final holiday but explain that until they’re a bit more financially independent you can’t afford to pay for their luxury holidays too.

I’ve got to admit I was paying from my own holidays with friends at that age, they’re both still bankrolled by you so could be working to pay for a holiday with friends while they have very little outgoings for the last time before they become fully independent adults

Who on earth wants to go on holiday with their parents at 20 years old? I wouldn't have dreamt of it, except perhaps a weekend away for a very special birthday/anniversary. Blimey, times have changed.