AIBU to not take parcels or let the housing association repairs team in for the neighbour?

You are not being unreasonable or selfish. Holding a key for someone is quite a responsibility and you don't even know this person or begin to be able to judge how they'd react should something unfortunate happen.

Taking in parcels can also be a real chore. I've done this before and regretted it as I've had to store them for week and keep going round to see if people are in. Like the key thing, it's something I'd do for a friend but not a stranger.

I feel for this ladies situation, as I'm sure you do too, but it's not your responsibility and please try not to let refusing bother you. Some of these responders saying things like "do the simple" thing baffle me to be honest!

I don't think you are unreasonable or selfish, you have a special needs child, parcels that are big and in your house 4 or 5 months, is not on.
I am sorry for your neighbour but your quality of life should not be impacted.

I think people have been unfair in their replies. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all, having the key for repairs etc is a lot to ask of someone.

With the parcels the odd one now and again I personally would be fine with, but not regularly or too many and I would expect them to be collected quickly, I wouldn’t want someone else’s large parcels in my house for longer than a day max.

Honestly I think they should put in a key safe and install a parcel safe. It’s a bit much to expect you to keep stuff for months on end.

I wouldn’t like the responsibility of supervising tradies either, If something goes missing or is broken then it’s going to be a headache.

Definitely no to the HA and their tradesmen - that's their problem to sort.
For parcels, I'd say it depends what they are. We used to get deliveries of incontinence products for our DD. It was several large boxes. Likewise the delivery of her special feed for tube feeding. No way would I have expected a neighbour to take those in, never mind hang on to them indefinitely. And the firm who once dropped no less than 14 boxes with my NDN as they hadn't told me they were delivering and I was out, certainly got a piece of my mind.

Why have you been asked ?
Are there no other neighbours ?
You said she lives across but has she no neighbours next door ?
Could you do one and another neighbour do another ?
My goodness there's no community anymore.
A single woman with nobody and a child who is likely to pass before her.
It's rare for housing associations to even ask this so they must be desperate.
I'm a mother of 4, 3 of whom are autistic and I would be privileged to have been the one to be asked to help this family out.
How much of an inconvenience would it really be ?
The contractors would work around you for repairs, so if you weren't in they would rearrange to suit you.
Then they would put the key back in your letterbox when done.
Put her parcels in her hallway as you have the key. No problem.

Exactly what I was going to say, I would take the parcels to help her out.
Housing association need to find another way to solve their issue with letting repair people in

I don’t think you’re being selfish on either count really. Especially the letting tradespeople in, this smacks of the HA palming off their obligations to support their tenant on to you to save money.

If it was one or 2 parcels every month you needed to look after for a week then I’d possibly be helpful but if you’re having to keep them for months on end is just crazy annoying and where/how are you expected to store these items?! That would drive me crazy and stress me out.

Do the HA have master keys for their homes? In ours if we give permission for them to have access to carry out repairs/gas checks etc, if we aren’t going to be in, then they’ll do that, as long as you say you are happy with this. As much as I get on with my neighbours, I’d not want to have to stick around during repairs and like you say, if anything goes missing or the repair is carried out badly, then you might feel very awkward /uncomfortable. If I had room to take in smallish packages I’d do that, but not big ones for months at a time.

No you are not unreasonable .

Having a spare key is a big responsibility and could have legal implications if something goes missing.

I wouldn't take in parcels either as you the have to put up with her cold calling at a time which may be inconvenient to you, getting cross with you if you're out when she called or you having to repeatedly knock her door when you're busy.

It's not being mean to refuse.

She must make other arrangements for her post.

Ask if they will fit her a keysafe and a box for her parcel, so if you can take them in, but store them in the box for her?

I don't think you're unreasonable about not wanting the responsibility of letting people into her house.

I would explain the issue about the parcels/ space/ not being collected to the Housing Officer, and see if there's a way round it. Maybe she can give you her number and commit to collecting anything within e.g. a week?

Tricky, it's not likely to be a reciprocal arrangement where you do favours for each other by the sounds of it?

How disgustingly selfish, shame on you. Hope you realise and reconsider

I don’t think you are being unreasonable on either count. It’s not your responsibility, however difficult her life is.
The HA should put a key safe in, and perhaps if necessary you could know the code to it so that if any parcels do turn up you could put them inside.

I'd take in occasional parcels, no problem.

I would not feel comfortable being a key holder for repairs or letting people in and out of the property for the same reasons you've described.

I would take parcels in but take a mobile number for her so if it's anything big & heavy she can pop over & collect it (make it clear you're not happy to hang on to things for too long). I definitely wouldn't want to take in a neighbour's key though - puts you in a very vulnerable position.

When my lovely neighbour was in hospital National Grid refused to allow me to grant them entry. I don't know how housing associations work and I understand your reservations because you become de facto responsible for her home.

I imagine it's so a housing officer doesn't have to be in attendance.

"I have taken parcels for her before and they've sat in my house for 4 or 5 months before being collected there was 4 or 5 some where quite big, I have no way of contacting her and if she's in hospital with her child I'd feel bad contacting her about that anyway."

"I have no way of contacting her" - Then do the obvious thing and exchange numbers.

"they've sat in my house for 4 or 5 months before being collected"* *- again, do the obvious thing and maybe arrange to keep her spare key, which would allow you to pop these parcels through her door and out of your way. I keep spare keys for a neighbour, she keeps spare keys for me.

Wouldn't you just knock on her door and a) offer the parcels to her and b) ask for her number so you can be in touch?

I do understand not wanting to hold a key though - a key safe sounds like a sensible compromise on that front.

"Housing Association have asked me a couple of times now (via the housing officer) if I would keep hold of a key and they’d let me know when repairs where needed for the neighbours house and I can just let them in."
No, they need to find another way to see to this.

"Similarly neighbour has asked me to take and keep hold of parcels because she has no-one else, no family, and very few friends."
I would do that for her. If you think they are going to be sitting in your hall for ages, ("she and the child ... disappear for months at a time") then discuss it with her - maybe agree to you holding a spare key to pop it into her house.

Maybe consider befriending her too? I suspect both of you would benefit from that.

"I have enough to be dealing with in my own life and DCs without having to think about someone else and another house."
I really don't think taking in the occasional parcel takes up very much headspace. YABU here. It's a small thing to you that could make a big difference for her. Be kind.

I can understand not wanting to hold a key, tell the housing officer to git a keysafe.. but shes asking you because operatives are.not allowed to work in houses alone, so you will be expected to stay the duration too.

but not taking parcels is a bit mean.