They showed up announced?!

What are the four teams you are under?

@Snowedon is there a reason you're still giving out about the midwives attitudes than replying to anyone giving you advice on your GD or checking your sugars? You don't seem to be taking any responsibility over neglecting a very serious pregnancy condition.

They may be overworked. But it is shoddy and it's not caring or supportive care.
Their communication system obviously meant they aren't aware of all communication.
The OP missed one appointment and if I have understood had already been in touch about the appointment - it's not like she has disappeared.
She hasn't refused to do the blood test but had been having genuine issues with it which she had already been in touch about.
They haven't listened to her and probably just went to tick some box on a system because she missed an appointment without any real thinking like has she been in touch to explain, would it be less intrusive to make a quick phone call?

Also a grown adult has the right if she wants to not to do any test or attend an appointment, but that's not what has happened in this case.

Covid rates are very low this year as far as seasonal risks go, its been massively over taken by Flu for the first time in years. How do you know its 'covid' you have?

Flu in pregnancy can be fatal, I very nearly died from it and ended up with a preemie.

Covid itself can be fatal too, millions died and if its lasted weeks thats not a good sign.

Diabetes and imbalances like anemia etc... that occur in pregnancy can also cause the sickly feeling and fatigue you describe.

You seem to be very blase of all these risks. Like you just assumed its one thing and thats that.

Don't take it personally. I was really poorly in my pregnancy, I was discharged from hospital under the midwife care and they sent me straight back into hospital. They said they can't take responsibility of a serious condition and were annoyed the doctors left them to deal with what was beyond their workload and ability in the community. My guess is, if anything happened to you they will get the blame, so probably terrified.
A missed appointment and forgetting I guess could indicate worsening blood sugars? So probably panicked so did a home check incase you were on the floor or something 😅 you can't be too careful. You can decline rapidly.

So I don't think it was at you or intended how they came across. Probably a mix of worry then relief you were OK. As for two of them, they might of thought you needed immediate treatment and that would take two people (moving, lifting etc)

Also edit to add, do you have a complex needs type midwife with your condition? Be honest and say how they made you feel. They are great with liaising with all the midwifes and professionals for you.

YANBU. Same thing happened to me (it was over a decade ago, so not recently) I was pregnant with my son at 19 and had him when I was 20 and was spoken to like crap from my first ever 12 wk scan. I was constantly belittled and undermined by the midwives and at times bullied. It's probably because of your age. Don't let them do it to you, I wish I had stood up for myself now. Even when I was in labour they were rude and after on the ward too. They have no right turning up to your house and if they really were "concerned" they would've spoken to you with a little more empathy. Sorry you are going through this and I hope it doesn't happen again x

@Anywherebuthere
Not usually. Some people are odd about unannounced knocks on doors. Many of us though don't have a problem with engaging with people without prior appointment.

I don't think you are at all unreasonable.
If they had come and spoken to you in a supportive manner and to check how you are that would be one thing, but they clearly did not do that. Asking to check your phone is outrageous.

But this is not “shoddy maternity care”. This is a team - who are probably overstretched and overworked, and have done extra shifts over the holiday period - but are concerned enough to make a home visit to someone who (despite their advanced age) is acting like a sulky teen who doesn’t understand the importance of the blood checks she has been asked to do but hasn’t, and is threatening to pretend not to be at home to health professionals concerned for her health, and the health of her baby.

If you're requiring input from 4 different teams for your pregnancy, have uncontrolled GD and missed an appointment, I can see why people would be concerned and want to check you're ok. What's the actual issue with testing your sugars?

I don't know if anyone has already said this but you can just buy lancets if necessary, either online or at pharmacies, they're not expensive. Hope this is helpful to you OP.

Its not great at all. They turned up unannounced. Thats intrusive.

Usually on MN no one likes guests/MIL/grandparents etc without prior arrangements so why is it ok for MW to turn up without an appointment.

Really? When they spoke to her like a child and demanded to check her phone and read her emails?? Jesus, you're just the type to bend over on command, aren't you? Totally brainwashed into thinking women should be grateful for shoddy awful maternity care.

Do you understand about the risks of unmanaged gestational diabetes, especially in late pregnancy @Snowedon ?

to be under the care of several departments indicates there are even more concerns, but just to start there…

Some people don't bleed easily my son is one of them thank goodness it was decided he didn't have issues in the end because the relentless hydrate warm up the hands stab and SQUEEZE was awful you can't even get blood for a blood test from him when he falls over there is rarely blood the only time he bleeds is from his nose then it's a fountain

I’m assuming GD is gestational diabetes? Normal type 1 diabetes can go out of control when you’re ill so I assume it’s the same for GD? You’ve been ill for 3 weeks and are struggling to do something anround your care and have missed an appointment. Of course they’ve done an unannounced welfare check. They have offered you an alternative to doing it at home - they’ll do it at hospital. You are not happy with this alternative - what do you want?

The positives are that they clearly do not think you are ill enough to be admitted to hospital. That’s surely good?

If they have been patronising etc go into Care Opinion where you can quickly complain. You can take someone with you to your appointments to advocate for you? Make it clear to your friend/ partner what you want to get out of it and what wishes your worried will be ignored.

Can your partner collect them? Another friend or family member? Could you ask them to post or taxi them out to your house? Order some to delivered from Boots, an online pharmacy, or Amazon?

You are coming across as having lots of excuses about why you can't do your blood sugars, I can see why them stressing to you that it is important came across as a telling off. You seem to see it as optional rather than a priority.

It'll be a safety check to ensure you're OK, missed appts can get Safeguarding flags (esp for baby PN ones). Infections will make your sugar control v poor so they're probably worried on your behalf as poor sugar control has lots of implications for baby. Their manner should have been more friendly but they're only trying to help. Young mums often need increased support needs. Highly suggest you don't pretend your not in in the future as will be a Safeguarding flag. Hope you feel better soon x

I’d be grateful for their visit - if you were surprised to see them do you think you may have come over as a bit defensive or hostile?

From your posts you sound unreasonable OP. They are doing their job properly. It can't be nice for them visiting a house where they are made to feel unwelcome. You claim they were rude to you but I wonder if you were rude to them.
Midwives are leaving the profession in droves. They are trying to do their best to keep you and your baby safe. I think you are being very, very unreasonable.

This!

Im not sure why other posters seem to think OP is the one with the problem here.

I’ve done 60 days of daily checks for GD. It’s not that hard YABU

First two pg - MW and HV were professional - next area the culture was incredibly paternalistic - all mother and even fathers were talked down to and frequently dismissed.

A mother I knew who was in late 40s on her 8th successful pg - they sent her home insisting they knew better than her if she was in labour - they just got back to hospital before birth. Many trained or worked in adjacent area caught up in maternity scandal and reports cite dismissing parents/women concerns.

I don't think the house visit itself was a bad idea - and frankly if you're to ill to keep track of appointments then other adults in house should be helping - sound more like their attitude though if you do have or are at risk of gestational diabetes it really is serious and needs monitoring for both your sakes.

Do you have a community MW or consultant or someone on one of the medical teams you get on better with you an have a talk with - about your ongoing care in pg - how it's all being managed?